Jun 042011
 

Funderland has set up again.

Great.  At least now we’ll know where all the knackers are for the next two weeks.  We can release the German Shepherds and switch off the security cameras.

I passed Funderland today and it’s like a cross between the Olympic Village and the Big Brother house.  Wall-to-wall tracksuits and pyjamas.

Classy.

As you know, I’m not the slightest bit racist, but I have to tell you, my prejudices came out today.  It came as a shock to me to realise how much I hate coloured people.  And by coloured people, I mean orange-coloured people with big earrings and loud voices.  Children in buggies with fourteen chins, stuffing their fat, orange faces with ADHD-inducing instant snacks.

Have a heart-attack, you little bastard, I couldn’t help snarling.  I regretted it later, though not much.

Knackers, waahs, skobies and gowlbags, all flying around centrifugally on a high-speed gyroscope that could easily project the whole fucking lot of them into space in a whirling trajectory of bling.

Splat!!!

Bling and blood.

Wouldn’t that be awful?

No.

With any luck at all, there will be a disastrous systems failure in Funderland, and all the rides will explode at the same time, wiping out an entire generation of orange knackers in one go.  It’s a small price to pay for ridding the world of so many Waaaahs.

That’s not a very big wish.  Is it too much to hope for?

  37 Responses to “Funderland — I Hate Coloured People”

Comments (37)
  1.  

    I had to google this! And then I found out there’s one on California! I’m guessing it’s the same sort of thing. xoxox

  2.  

    Of course it is. Coloured people. They’re everywhere.

  3.  

    summer is here and B.O.P.s are out
    Blonde(hair), Orange (skin), Pink (valuer clothing).

    and im pretty sure you are being racist

  4.  

    Excellent. Identify the race please.

  5.  

    If knackers could read, you would most likely be a dead man my friend. Or at the very least the wheels on the Bockmobile would be getting weighed in on Monday morning as soon as the scrappies opens.

    Bock at his best!.

  6.  

    Those aren’t knackers, merely chavs. The knackers are all up here, lamping rabbits. It’s barbeque season.

  7.  

    In these parts, they’re knackers, I assure you. maybe it’s a linguistic thing.

  8.  

    They could well simply be one of the tangible by-products following years of neglect of the nation’s needs by the real scobes who partook in robbing the state blind in order to stuff their personal bank accounts and mattresses with as much loot as they could in the fastest time possible. I refer to those who were stupidly given the reins of power in many fianna fáil governments over many many years.

  9.  

    I’ve blamed FF for a lot of things. If you could explain how they gave us the Oompah Loompahs, I’d be delighted to blame them for that as well.

  10.  

    Since when did we need evidence to blame the FFers for stuff??

  11.  

    We can only hope your wish comes true

  12.  

    ur ful of shit bock, got ur site of a taxi driver, i told him to check out max keiser, he told me to check out u, guess i got the shit end of the swap, i hope ur children marry the knackers u hate so much u septic bag of puke, ur a pseudo intellectual elitist snob playin wordgames go get a job with eoghan harse in the sindo or kevin myarse in the indo u bucket of ebola and i will Bocks the head of u if i ever meet u u bag of vomit. and i hope ur first grankid is called tayto. and that ur new inlaws are mccarthydundons.

  13.  

    Hilarious!

  14.  

    See, here’s the thing. If you pretend to be someone, you should do it right. Now, to my way of thinking, that sequence of letters at the end of the name gives it away. “rrhea”.

    There isn’t a waah on the face of the planet who’d come up with that. You’re a fucking spoofer.

    And you’re in Cork.

  15.  

    hey there tayto mccarthy dundons grandad the robber, as i said get a job in the mainstream media u fukin bag of puke, yeah and well done for sussin out dialogue and diarrhea spun together thats the hole idea – pardon the pun, ur an ass bock the robber and im in galway sorry and funny we just had funderland here, im tellin the taxi driver to go suck a hemaroid for himself, i never want to hear of ur bullshitsite again, ur the fuckin spoofer, and you’re in Moyross
    all the best tayto mccarthy dundons grandad the robber and no hard feelins

  16.  

    Ok. We’ve had enough of you now. It was vaguely funny the first time. Bye.

  17.  

    Fucking priceless.I wonder what shade of a shit colour dialogarrhea is.Funniest thing I’ve read in a long time.Good writing out of a six year old.

  18.  

    Well, he sent in the last comment about 3am and he was up again before 8 to try again. Now that’s desperation.

  19.  

    Ooops. Looks like we have an infestation of trolling wankers. Sorry about that folks.

  20.  

    fascinating! xoxo

  21.  

    Isn’t it just?

  22.  

    You may not be racist Bock but you’re one hell of a judgemental cunt.

    What’s wrong with fake tan and pyjamas – nobody is forcing you to dress like that so why do you feel the need to release the hounds on people who do.

    And do you really have to use the “K” word?, They’re travellers or Pavee’s – take your pick

    Lastly FF link to Orange Skin – I do believe Celia Larkin introduced the look to Dublin and is now down your neck of the woods infecting the locals – See, you can blame FF for everything

  23.  

    Steady there, big boy. Where did you get the idea I was talking about travellers?

  24.  

    Come on – We all know what “Knacker” refers to

  25.  

    You might think you know, but you’ve failed to do your research. When I grew up, the term “knacker” was never used in Limerick to denote travellers, and I don’t use it in that sense. So get down off your high horse, Tonto, and in future, check out your facts before you start calling people cunts.

  26.  

    Research????????

    Everyone I know uses the Term “Knacker” to refer to travellers – You’re the 1st Irish person I’ve come across who claims it means something else. What else I still don’t know.

    The “Judgemental Cunt” reference was because you judged people to be deserving of death because they wear tracksuits, pyjamas, large ear rings and fake tan

    So i do believe my facts to be correct, Apologies if the “Judgemental Cunt” tag offended you but I always thought this site embraced offence

    Rant over – Can we be friends now?

  27.  

    It doesn’t offend me. But actually you reveal your own prejudices by assuming that the word “knacker” can only be used in relation to travellers. I assure you, it has other meanings. When I was a child, some mothers would warn their children not to play with certain families, because they were only knackers. It did not mean travellers, but an uncouth, rough class of person. And it is still used in that context.

  28.  

    Only ball hopping ya Bock, I do know the posting was intended to be fun, and it was

    Gotcha…………

    Feel free to call me a cunt, just not a “Knacker loving cunt”

  29.  

    That is my understanding of the word too, Bock. It wasn’t until I went to college that I heard it used to describe people from the travelling community. We used to refer to travellers as ‘itinerants’ where I grew up in Limerick.

  30.  

    Like you, I never heard of travellers being called knackers until I left Limerick, and I see no reason to abandon a fine old term of derision just because the PC industry instructs me to.

  31.  

    Bock @ 27 that is the way I always understood it as well and in the context that I always use it.

  32.  

    I always thought scumbags = knackers, but the auld lad calls Travellers knackers the odd time, but mainly would refer to them as pavees? I don’t know anyone who calls them pikeys, but would I be right in thinking that’s an insult?

    Certain travellers are knackers alright…….

  33.  

    The first time I ever heard the word Pikeys was in the movie Snatch.

  34.  

    “whirling trajectory of bling” Class!

  35.  

    I can understand the whole concept of bananas in pyjamas, but umpa lumpas in pyjamas on a ferris wheel really puts me off me food!

  36.  

    Similar to Bock and other posters here, I’ve never associated the word “knacker” with the travelling community. Knackers will always be the “scumbag” element of society for me. Not the same people as travellers at all.

  37.  

    I sooo hate colourds I cnt help it thy sim to thnk thy cleva thn othrs by alwys doin d total opposite of anythn geez

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