There’s the Quinn family telling a court they don’t have to pay back the money to the bank because they got it illegally in the first place.
No fucking way, Judge, they told the court. The fucking eejits in Anglo made a mistake and that’s the end of it. We’re not givin’ it back, so there. Now. Boo!!
It reminded me of those tossers you see in shops. I know the law. That’s the price you had on it and I’m entitled to get it for that.
It makes no difference to this crowd that the taxpayers are picking up the bills for Anglo. Taxes are for the little people.
Speaking of little people, how many members of U2 does it take to fill out a tax return?
Answer: Nobody knows. It’s never been tried.
But that doesn’t stop Bonzo pontificating to a nation on its knees about the importance of giving to the poor.
Bonzo, we are the poor, while you continue to salt away your obscene income in your offshore tax haven. Fuck off.
Meanwhile, Michael Healy-Rae wins Celebrity Gobshite because some malignant little gnome camped in a Dáil office for a week punching numbers on a phone.
Do you use a Dictaphone?
No. I use my finger.
There you have the Healy-Rae clan thumbing their noses at the intelligence of the entire country by answering one question with another in traditional slithery fashion, but that’s Kerry for you. Fuck the rest of Ireland as along as we’re all right. They took favours from John O’Donoghue, they accepted them from Haughey and it never occurred to them that for every marina built in Dingle or every sports centre in Tralee, some town elsewhere was deprived of a similar facility.
National solidarity my arse.
Meanwhile, Lowry and his cohort of clowns somehow managed to push through their proposal for a ludicrous casino in Tipperary so that people with a severe gambling problem can more easily spend their last penny on slot machines . Marvellous. Classy.
And what else will one do in Two-Mile Borris?
Fuck-all, that’s what, because there’s fuck-all else to do there, but that didn’t stop delegations heading out to the Gulf in search of Arab money for their scheme with talk of golf courses and leisure resorts.
Things that will never be built in a plan that’s all about the one-armed bandits.
Wait a minute. Aren’t Muslims forbidden from gambling? Yes, but maybe not from investing in it, and perhaps that was the Jesuitical point Mr Lowry tried to impress on whatever oil sheikhs he happened to collar, while selling them the odd fridge as well to cool their beer in the boiling sun.
Oil sheikhs don’t pay much heed to the alcohol laws either — in the Gulf, just like in Ireland, some things are for the little people.