Rory McIlroy

Young lad does well at US Open

I think golf is a ridiculous game, but even I have to admit that I’m staggered by this young fella Rory McIlroy.

He really has done well, and I’m glad for him.  He seems like a nice lad and I hope he has a wonderful career batting little balls with a stick.  At 22, most people are, let’s be honest, complete idiots.  I was a total fool at 22, and almost everyone I know was as well.  The only 22-year-olds who weren’t complete idiots were complete shits that you’d like to drown in a bath of rancid periwinkles. Intense young men who knew better than grown-ups three times their age and self-centred girlies obsessed by their appearance.  Joe Duffy and his girlfriend, maybe.  But I have to say, most people of 22 are not like that.  They’re just idiots, and I applaud them for it.

22 is an age to be an idiot, and anyone who doesn’t behave like an idiot at 22 is a complete isiot.

Rory McIlroy seems to have the blend worked out.  He’s clearly a lad with feelings, emotions and frailties.  I remember last year when he lost his nerve at some golf thingy.  What was it?  I don’t know.  But anyway he was way ahead and then he collapsed.

He’s human.  Great.

And now, today and yesterday at this golf thingy, what’s it called?, the US Open or the Masters or something, he seems to have created a record by knocking the ball into the hole with the smallest number of thumps ever.

That’s very good.  And in fairness to young McIlroy, he achieved all this without being injured.  Normally, so I’m told, young lads have to fight their way past some 300-pound gorilla to win a game of golf, and it’s very common to get punched in the face.  According to my informant, fractured skulls are common in golf, along with dislocations, contusions and bruised egos.

I know nothing about this.

What’s a game?  Can you do something to prevent your opponent winning?  If you can’t, in my opinion, it isn’t a game.

What did Steve Davis say? If you can smoke while you’re doing it, it’s not a sport.

Still, full credit to young McIlroy.  I hope he does great.

17 thoughts on “Rory McIlroy

  1. Nice to have some Irish pride for a change, eh? Some of his headlines:

    lowest 54-hole score in the tournament’s history.
    the championship’s youngest winner since 1923.
    Dominant McIlroy at US Open sparks talk of new era in golf?

    That is pretty damn good for a 22 yr old! He’s definitely got big things ahead of him in this rediculous game. Hope he will treat his wife better and more exclusively than the last golf superstar that he’s chasing out of the Woods.

    I thought that the best way to prevent your opponent from winning is supposed to be playing the game better than her/him. Oh, I’m sorry – that’s only if the game is fair play, not if the opponent is fair game.

    Oh, and congratulations on surviving your geek tweaking.

  2. Heedy — It could have been the US Open one-man rugby, now that you mention it. I wasn’t paying enough attention.

    S1LU — I just think golf is a sport the same way snooker and darts are sports, but good luck to the young lad all the same.

  3. I like the “If you can smoke while you’re doing it, it’s not a sport.” rule, but you also need to eliminate things that are just exercise or pastimes. Sports should have some reproducible objective criteria for judging a winner, so how about the “Tonya Harding” rule.

    Ice skating is not a sport because no matter what that poor cow did in the Olympics, she was never going to be given the medal. They hated her. However, it doesn’t matter whether you think Usain Bolt is a tosser or want his babies, he clearly won the 100m. So how’s this for a rule – “Would the judges have to give Biffo the medal?”. If he could win, in the face of a hail of rotten fruit and a barrage of brutal bollicking, then it’s a sport. If not, it’s the Eurovision.

  4. Jeebus, Bock. I was forced to consider Brian Cowen pole dancing there for a second. That’s a rough start to a week. Hoisted on my own petard….

  5. In order for a sport or discipline to be in included in the Summer Olympics program (but not necessarily be contested at the Olympics), it must be widely practiced by men and women, in at least 75 and 50 countries, respectively, spread over four continents.

    Why women a third less countries?

    A sport or discipline is included in the Olympic program if the IOC determines that it is widely practised around the world, that is, the number of countries that compete in a given sport is the indicator of the sport’s prevalence. The IOC’s requirements reflect participation in the Olympic Games as well — more stringent toward men (as they are represented in higher numbers) and Summer sports (as more nations compete in the Summer Olympics)…

    Previous Olympic Games included sports which are no longer present on the current program, like polo and tug of war.[1] These sports, known as discontinued sports, were later removed either because of lack of interest or absence of an appropriate governing body.[3] Archery and tennis are examples of sports that were competed at the early Games and were later dropped by the IOC, but managed to return to the Olympic program (in 1972 and 1988, respectively). On July 11, 2005, the IOC voted to drop baseball and softball from the Olympic program for 2012,[9] a decision that was reaffirmed on February 9, 2006.

    And, related to this thread,

    On August 13, 2009, the IOC Executive Board proposed that golf and rugby sevens be added to the Olympic program for the 2016 Games.[11] On 9 October 2009, during the 121st IOC Session in Copenhagen, the IOC voted to elevate both sports as official Olympic sports and to include them in the Olympic program, beginning with the Rio de Janeiro Games.[12] The IOC voted 81-8 in favor of including rugby sevens and 63-27 in favor of reinstating golf.[12]

    So I guess ridiculousness does not affect Olympic worthiness!

  6. Congrats to Limerick’s Conor Niland, first Irishman to make Wimbledon since 1984, I believe, He could face Federer if he beats the shoulder-shrugging French bastard in round one.

  7. Golf – that’s the one where you polish their ball on yours and hurl it at the fella standing around in front of a row of undersized fencing posts, isn’t it?

  8. Golf is a game, not a sport. I love golf but to hear them being called athletes. Sure some of them are athletically built, but I think you need to break sweat more often for the players to be tagged athletic. Golf, Bowls, Archery… same bracket.

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