Smoking Ban In Private Cars

So the government has decided to ban people from smoking in their cars?

Good luck with that great idea.  It’s bound to be a huge success, once they manage to stop the traffic cops smoking on duty.

I observed you smoking a cigarette while in control of a mechanically-propelled vehicle.  What do you say to that?

Of course you did.  I needed a puff.  What the fuck are you talking about?

I’m charging you with committing an offence under the Consumption of Nicotine Products in Moving Vehicles (Amendment) Act 2011.

I’m having a smoke. So fucking what?

‘Tis very bad for you.

Bad for me?  Look at the state of you, you big fat fucker.  You should be charged under the Not Eating Doughnuts in a Squad-Car Act.  Jesus Christ!

All right.  I’m now charging you with blasphemous libel under the Defamation Act, 2009.

You’re fucking mad.

And also with a public order offence under the Things We Can Charge People With Act, 1998.

Wait.  What if I was standing beside my car having a cigarette.  Would that be bad for me too?

No.  That would be perfectly healthy.  ‘Tis the smokin’ in the car that does for ya.

What if I was chewing tobacco?

Same thing.  Using nicotine.

How about if I was wearing a patch?

Misuse of drugs.

What if the car was stopped?

That would be fine.  ‘Tis the speed that makes the stuff dangerous.  High speed.  Very very bad.  Speed kills.  And secondhand smoke is very bad too because it makes the kids sick.

I have no kids.  There is no child in this fuckin car.

There might be.

There isn’t.

You might be thinking of begetting children, and then I’d have to charge you under the Thinking Smutty  Thoughts (Ecumenical Congress) Act of 1932.

What if I just wanted a cigarette?

If the car is moving, ’tis an offence to think about smoking. You should pull onto the hard shoulder until the urge to smoke passes.

Jesus Fucking Christ.

I’ll have to charge you with blasphemous libel again if you’re not careful.

What about fat fuckers?


Fat fuckers giving their kids fat-fucker-making food, with soft drinks and frozen shite full of salt and sugar?  Making them obese.

In a car?

No.  At home.

Careful now, or I’ll have to charge you under the Thinking Bad Things About Idiots Who Are  Too Fucking Thick To Feed Their Kids Properly Act 2006.








24 replies on “Smoking Ban In Private Cars”

Of course there’d be no drink taken whilst driving.. but I might have the sneaky pull when no drink has been taken too. Oh nevermind. Dirty filthy habit though really.

From what I read they are considering the law in relation to people who have minors in the car. All the newspapers ran with a version of the headline “Government to ban you smoking in your own car blah blah”. I don’t think people should smoke around their kids, it’s common sense. Then again as you point out, there’s nothing stopping them feeding them shite as they couldn’t be bothered cooking properly, and then saying “ahh jaysus, sure he takes after his maaa, I luv me fooood I do.” pardon any generalization, I’m particularly broke this week and loathing the carefree fuckwits I see wandering past me every day.

Weirdly though, when a smoke is smoked in a vehicle moving at speed with the window open, the air pressure difference ensures that all smoke is sucked out of said vehicle pretty quickly so it could be said that it’s the safest way to smoke around your kids, no?

Unless the rear window is open as you’re flicking the butt and you end up with a child with a scabby eye. That’s not good.

This is the most idiotic proposal I have ever heard, one of the options was to ban smoking in a car if you have a sprog in the car, any cunt who does that is due a kicking in the first place, I am an ex smoker, if you want to have a fag in your motor in your own consenting company, by all means spark up. Idiotic cunt O Reilly, and I thought initially because he is a Doctor that he fit the shoe, obviously not.

As K8 states the simple solution is to open the window.It only needs to be down an inch and problem solved.Still you cant expect the fuckwits that the Irish electorate mandate to govern them to think of a simple practical solution like that.So what are we going to have now..”criminal” tearing past with fag hanging from lip and Porkers behind with blue lights flashing!!.

Ex smoker( and still struggling) here. It’s a fright that we need legislation to stop muppets smoking around their children. I have to admit that I have often wondered how thick somebody has to be to think that this is acceptable. It verges on abuse in my opinion and please don’t give me this shite about an open window being a solution to this. Cigarette smoke is TOXIC to children. I’m bewildered that we should even need to consider legislation for this problem……common sense should prevail.

@ comment do you know we “need” legislation..where is the scientific evidence to prove that we do.Such as all those imaginary children suffering TOXICITY from cigarette smoke in cars.Any real evidence rather than vivid imaginations?.I dont smoke,my parents did both in the home and in the car and I dont recall ever having any ill effects from it…all a load of bullshit if you ask me.

People who smoke with kids in the car will smoke at home, too – with kids around. I suppose the kids will be more often in the living room in front of the telly with parents puffing away on the sofa than in a car.
It’s a nice thought but with most of governmental thoughts a bit short-thought, or so.
Like with hiding cigarettes in a shop behind a curtain, or not selling booze before 10am or on sundays before I don’t know when.
Or like bailing out banks, or …whatever….

Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! Jesus fecken Christ. The country is up the shit hole, fucked, shagged, for years to come. If the Government/Our Politicians looked after the economic affairs of this state as well as smoking parents look after their children we would still be at less then 3% unemployment, in a much healthier Republic with laws to insure proper distribution of wealth and laws to put in Jail any individual or organisation who put the health of the state in jeopardy in pursuit of personal gain.
Fuck sake, spare me this shit.

comment 9…….. I’m not getting into a long protracted argument about this , I’m sure we both have more important things to do. Cigarette smoke is toxic and there is plenty of evidence to support that simple statement.That’s why people feel better when they give it up ( well I and quite a few people I know feel better) . All I’m saying is that forcing children to sit around smoke of any kind on a prolonged basis is not wise as they don’t have the option of getting up and walking away. I’m not in any way trying to belittle the shit this country is in (comment 12), I’m simply saying that people need to respect the future health of their children.

Bock et al, the logic here is that we are all talking about another smoking ban instead of talking about Fine Gael closing hospitals, lying to the electorate, (and then lying about the lying until a tape shows up), and the general crap state of our health service. O Reilly has seen how Micheál Martin pulled a fast one on the naive Irish public in 2004 with the smoking ban, how he had everyone talking about his bravery and integrity, instead of realising that he did nothing about the real problems in health, if anything making thing worse. O Reilly has also seen that the stupid Irish public still haven’t copped on to how they were conned, and that smokers are now an easy target who can be pushed around without yielding the high moral ground. Of course bringing kids into the equation is a master stroke, what politician is going to allow themselves to be accused of being pro smoking AND anti kids.

There is no other logic to this. I have never seen anyone smoke in their car with the windows up, I cannot even conceive of anyone doing this. With the windows down there is no real issue here, but of course I’m sure ASH have already commissioned research that will show that thousands of children are dying every year from this.

I wonder are we now just a short step from house inspections to check that you are not smoking at home. ASH are openly in favour of this, but concede it might be difficult politically. This measure would set a nice enabling precedent. We have to be very careful about handing over our freedom at any time, but with the financial hardship coming down the line, and the likely polarisation of politics that will come with it, this was never so important. First they came for the smokers……………. have summed it up correctly there…and we will see more and more of these type of distraction and freedom eroding laws as the national crisis gets worse.There are many types of fascists in society and the modern day ones can be very subtle unlike their predecessors.Todays ones will take your freedoms away and convince that its for your own good

Yes, I also believe it is just a distraction. People ringing up Joe Duffy or Joe Nash to moan about this, which is merely a proposal or kite-flying exercise, rather than actual crap going on. I did a quick check on google news on this. The SMoking Ban story turned up 13.2 Million results. Whereas the decision to cut the funding to the Rape Crisis Network turned up 7 results, only 1 of which mentioned that they had a stay of exectution for about a month.
They still know how to play to the crowd… wasn’t it Harney who said “people have short memories” ?

Well Tony, if Ms.Harney and co. hadn’t agreed to bail out the bankers we may not have to see €100 household taxes, and cuts to publc spending. But of course Ms Harney and the rest of her cabal retired on self awarded lucrative pensions rather than face the wrath of the electorate.

Concerning political distraction, this discussion is going maybe 50% on track. Other than that, it’s going straight down the toilet and will soon be oppressed. No shite allowed, folks. You know the drill by now.

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