What the fuck kind of headline is this?
Woman Dies After Sex With Dog.
This is a dreadful case where a woman contacted somebody on a bestiality website looking for a dog to have sex with. The woman subsequently died due to an alergic reaction.
It defeats the imagination. What on earth was motivating this woman?
I suppose in some ways it’s so shocking because normally men are the ones portrayed as deviant.
It reminds me of a story I told here a few years back — a story that bears re-telling.
Wandering around a slightly dodgy part of a foreign city, looking for novelties to bring back to my female friends (as opposed to girlfriends), I saw vibrators that were shaped like a tongue and I thought it was just a great idea. They were covered with sticky tongue-like stuff, and when it wore out (for whatever reason) you could buy more tongue-like stuff to slide over the vibrator and make it like new again. I thought this was great. I thought this was the best idea ever.
And then I thought, why not make it better than the best idea ever?
What I thought was this. Why not fit the tongue-like vibrator into a dummy head? What a good idea. Go to a factory in China and have thousands of these things made. Millions of them!
A dummy head like you see in shop windows all over the country. But of course, that wasn’t my genius idea. No. I was thinking that maybe you could have latex masks of celebrities to slip over the dummy head. George Clooney. Brad Pitt. Justin Timberlake. Robbie Williams. Sean Connery. Something for every taste, so to speak. Enda Kenny. Ger Loughnane. Mother Teresa, for the minority market.
I mentioned this to my dear friend, Warrior Princess.
I was thinking maybe Jackie Healy-Rae, or Paidi O Se
Great, says Warrior Princess, or maybe an Alsatian?