One thing I find extremely irritating is when someone decides to share my private information with a total stranger. You might think I’m being a bit prickly when I say this, but, truth to tell, I value my privacy, and if I want to introduce myself to a total stranger, I’d like to make that choice for myself.
What am I talking about?
Restaurants. Waiters. That’s what.
I do not like to be led through a menu by an eating companion. I do not like to be asked what I’m having. I do not like anyone to show me the things on the fucking menu, because I am perfectly able to read for my fucking self.
But most of all, when the waiter arrives, I do not like my eating companion to share my name with him.
Say you’re Tarquin, in a restaurant with Attilla, Drusilla and Cassius.
Cassius is one irritating fuck who needs to be in charge of everything. After you’ve ordered and all the food arrives, he’ll continue to ask everyone questions about their dinner. He’ll remind you that you haven’t tried the fucking cous-cous yet and you really should, but worst of all, when the waiter arrives, he’ll try to set up a spurious relationship by inviting you to order.
So, Tarquin. What are you having?
The appropriate response to this is Fuck off and mind your own business. Who the fuck do you think you are?
But you don’t say that, do you?
Well, it might be a family dinner and you don’t want to break the mood, even though it’s not you but that idiot Cassius. Or it might be a work thing, and nobody wants to be there anyway, but if they hang on they’ll get that steak that they could never afford to order unless the boss was paying for it with the company credit card, so they shut the fuck up even though they want to punch the bastard just like you do.
I’m getting better at this. These days I tell that man to look after his own menu and not to worry about mine. I don’t like when he acts like some kind of host, even though we’re all splitting the bill.
Behave yourself, I say. Do not introduce me to the waiter by name. I’m an anonymous customer, as I should be.
The guy is not only invading your space, but also inviting the waiter into a space he should not have to inhabit. He’s here to work, not find out the names of everyone in the shop.
It really really annoys me that someone might take it on themselves to usurp my power to offer familiarity should I so choose.
It’s a kind of control thing, in my opinion and it pisses me off. What do you think?