Workers in Britain’s biggest power station, Fletherington-on-the-Flange, could barely suppress a manly tear today as they told the story of finding a newborn kitten hiding among the cooling rods, just as they were about to set a giant nuclear reactor in motion.
It’s like a miracle, said Les Metcalfe, general foreman in charge of the project. We were about to hit the start button, when one of the lads heard sound of a kitten crying, so we cancelled the whole job there and then. It cost millions, but you have to get your priorities right. A kitten’s life was at stake.
So where did the little stowaway come from?
He must have come in with a consignment of cooling rods from Mexico. It’s a miracle he survived the journey.
When they opened the giant reactor, workers found little Neutrino, barely alive, but they nursed him back to health using an eye-dropper. Sadly, his little brothers, Muon and Quark, didn’t make it.
It was touch and go, Metcalfe explained, but eventually he began to rally and now he’s in fine fettle, killing five or six songbirds every day.
But not everyone agrees with the workers’ decision to shut down the reactor at a cost of millions and preventing the opening of a new children’s hospital in Fletherington. Local councillor Eric Braithwaite is trenchant in his criticism. What were they thinking? he demands.
Metcalfe is unmoved. I know the children’s hospital needed power, but what were we supposed to do? This was a kitten in trouble.
Asked to comment, the Chief Executive of East Britain PowergridCorp remarked He’s so cute.