Talking Bollocks With Seán Gallagher

 Posted by on October 23, 2011  Add comments
Oct 232011
 

Hello and welcome to the latest edition of Seán Talks Bollocks.

In today’s issue, Seán will be talking bollocks about his entrepreneurial skills, his work with young people and his involvement with Fianna Fáil.  He also explains how he performed the world’s first heart transplant, carried Edmund Hillary to the top of Everest, beat Joe Frazier while wearing a Muhammad Ali mask and invented the wheel.

In an emotional aside, the original founder of Oasis tells of his shock when he realised that he had inadvertently become a member of the Fianna Fáil national executive, a traumatic experience that even now, a full eight months later, he has still not fully recovered from.

Seán flew in this morning from Auckland where he helped the All Blacks to win the World Cup by delivering a motivational speech in the dressing room.  

I told them life isn’t always easy, he said, but if you try hard, and get the odd aul grant here an’ there, you can manage a lot, like.  Richie told me ’twas the best aul talk he ever heard in his life, like, an’ all he could see the whole way through the match was me wavin’ me fist.

I remember one time, muses Seán, when Einstein was askin’ me advice about the relatives.  What am I goin’ to do here at all Seán? says Albert.

Tell ya what, sez I.  Why don’t I get onta Bertie an’ see if we can get th’aul laws of physics changed.  Or maybe we can get the Commissioner of the Physics Guards to turn an aul blind eye, know what I mean, like?

I remember one time, I was showin’ Pelé how to kick a ball.  Look, Ed, I told him, if you were an enter prenoor like me, you’d hire some poor sap to kick the feckin ball, an’ you’d use someone else’s money.  See, that’s why I’m a future President of Ireland.  Cos I’m one cute feckin hoor.

I’m an educated man, ya know.  I done an MBA, like, an’ I done a degree too in that place where the priests is.  Nanu Nanu. I done me degree in two years, like an’ I was so good, I didn’t even have to do no exams cos I was dead smart, an’ then the Online University of Jim Jones Limited give me th’aul MBA  cos they knew I was real good at th’aul business thing.  I done me trainin’ in Nanu Nanu and it stood to me when I needed to fix an aul tap or anythin’ like that.

I done lotsa work with young people too.  Real work, y’know?  Work with a capital W, not liftin’ stuff.  No.  Stuff where ya all sit there drinkin’ coffee and talkin’ about important things.  Work.  Just like I’ll do when I’m the President an’ I’ll be able to ring up anyone an’ tell ’em what to do cos I’ll be the feckin King an’ everyone will hafta do whatever I tell ’em, an’ I can hand out pardons an’everything.  Bertie will be feckin chuffed.

Anyway, lookit, vote for me cos I knows things an’ I does things, an’ sure I was even on the telly.

Ya can’t get better than that.

 

______________

Elsewhere on Bock:

Seán Gallagher in his own words.

 

 

  43 Responses to “Talking Bollocks With Seán Gallagher”

Comments (43)
  1.  

    Thats it!- Nascissistic personality disorder!

  2.  

    “enter prenoor” love it!

  3.  

    It’s too frightening that this bollocks is likely to become president.

    I’m going outside now and hiding in the hedge ’till it’s all over. I’m taking up all the religions and praying to all the Gods (note the Big G) and please, please, let him fall down a big hole and please, please let our electorate get some sense……

    …but now I’m dreaming.

    Om manni padme um…….

  4.  

    Has done nothing. Will do nothing. Community worker and entrepreneur, my hole! Only interested in lording it up in the Áras and acting out his Celtic Tiger dreams at our expense.

  5.  

    well now Bock, Gallagher dined at next table from us in Wexford last Friday and all I can say is buh-buh-Bertie must be grinnin ear to ear.

  6.  

    Yesterday on his Facebook page and his blog, he was claiming to be opening the festival. When the statement was queried, he removed it.

    By the way, did he tuck the tablecloth into his shirt collar?

  7.  

    the only common thread I noticed was a 1950s film in the Arts Centre that showed a demented right wing mother of Irish extraction throwing knives at her little daughters in Texas and thinkin it showed skill. And she was named? You got it, Gallagher!

  8.  

    If he doesn’t make it to the Aras, would he have a future talking bollocks on the telly?

  9.  

    yeh, on Dragons Dregs

  10.  

    I was thinking more of a chat show format.

    Tonight, Seán talks bollocks with …

    Bertie Ahern, Cardinal Brady, Peter Sutherland, Michael Fingleton

    That sort of thing.

  11.  

    Anyone have Lee Harvey Oswald’s number? Ah fuck! what am I saying, shur he was only an auld patsy. What about the fucker that shot Lincoln….fuck it, shur he had no fucken phone!……Really starting to panic now!

  12.  

    Irish FF Entre Prenoor = EntreCuteHoor

    Make it all gp away talking the same bollocks for 2 weeks and saying nothing who’s buying this crap

  13.  

    @ LJS

    He’s trying to assassinate Dana apparently. American candidates only for that lad.

  14.  

    Yeah. He put a grassy knoll on the motorway.

  15.  

    So the man with no posters tops the polls. Might even win the race to the Aras. If he bans all future election posters with their eye gouging tie wraps then he can have the gig !!

  16.  

    Those of us with long memeories will remember Paddy Cooney and the ‘thundering disgrace’ remark that precipitated a presidential resignation from office. If someone calls this goon a thundering bollocks nobody will bat an eyelid, because it’s true.

  17.  

    My long memory isn’t as good as I thought, it was Paddy Donegan of course.

  18.  

    Yeah and it was a thundering disgrace not a thundering bollox.

  19.  

    BN sorry i did not read your post right, I was too busy laughing!

  20.  

    Sean Sean the leprechaun.
    Who did you that envelope from?
    Was it from the developer who’s name you cant recall.
    Or was it from the tooth fairy who lives in Moneygall

  21.  

    I enjoyed seeing him sweat last night…he reminds me of Uncle Fester from the Adams family

  22.  

    Great to see the Entre CuteHoor sweating, I thought he was going to burst into tears at the final question.

    Have the other Dragon’s been supportive of ECH ?

    It seems to me that they don’t seem to be very vocal in their support of his Campaign, including Gavin Duffy occasionally of this parish.

    The Father Ted reference of “money resting in his account” was very funny and a bit unexpected from Pat Kenny.

    With Gay Mitchell jumping on the wrong bandwagon at the end, and attacking Pat, turned out to be the best debate so far, after a slow start.

  23.  

    Bollocks can be the language of the common people.
    Fianna Fail figured that out long ago.
    So their Seánie’s pulling a fast one.
    He’s not the first FF Seánie to pull a fast one either.

  24.  

    It was interesting to see how PK introduced the candidates. In Dana’s case, he went right back to the Eurovision, talked about her previous candidature, her role as MEP etc. Norris was an academic, joyceian scholar,, yadda yadda. Michael D – former senator, former minister, human rights activist. Mitchell – former TD, Junior Minister, Lord Mayor.

    But McGuinness – a man with no past it seems in PK/RTE’s eyes, he was introduced as the current Deputy First Minister or Northern Ireland. No mention of his past, and he has more past to worry about than most.

    Nuts

  25.  

    Nuts, Is there something about Martin McGuiness’s past that is being kept secret from us! Well as a voting citizen of this fine republic, I demand to know what it is!

  26.  

    The serious issue here is that a drunk, autistic 4 year old should really be able to see exactally what an uneducated, vain, pathetic, classless, bullying mongoloid this cunt is. Apparently thats not the case.

  27.  

    What makes me so angry about SG’s bid for the Presidency is the confidence with which he approached the garnering of votes.

    SG and people like him, who played the game they played with the support and manipulation and dispicable greed still seem to feel so ” Safe ” and confident that their dirty dealings and complete lack of qualification for the role of President of Ireland will be overlooked ….yet again by the people, Its like a virus that is totally immune to the message that was delivered by the Electorate with the clear message that FF had had it’s day, makes me lost for words.

  28.  

    Long John, on mature reflection, I think the reason PK didn’t deal with Martie’s past was that it couldn’t be summarised in an hour – he has that much past.

    Gallabollocks has been explaining all day today – and while you’re explaining, you’re losing, first rule of politics. Martie ambushed him, and no better buachaill to pull off an ambush. he has plenty of relevant experience.

    NUts

  29.  

    I’m glad they kicked him out of Oasis.

  30.  

    is it just me or is he liam lalor lite.
    brown envlopes
    selling meetings with the boss
    mature reflections (at least three at this stage)
    just resting in me account.
    only on 240 euros a week (p60)
    5 years on a county entrprise board
    charging his local GAA clubs for filling out forms(not on his last p60 but I’m sure he declared it in his tax returns)

    a right bollox

  31.  

    Someone needs to ask about the mentoring. The gigs he has from enterprise boards all over the country based on his track record as a successful businessman.

  32.  

    Kirk to Enterprise (board) – send Gallagher to the transponder room and whizz him off to the furthest corner of the Cardassian Galaxy before he overloads the warp drive and uses up all the dilithium crystals…

  33.  

    To become a Mentor with The Enterprise Board, a person cannot apply via their CV, They have to be put forward and appointed on the recommendation of a Board Member.

    Who are these Board Members ? County Councillors and Quango hunters, A strict code of ” Buddy System ” and absolutly perpetrates the mantra of “Smarthomes”
    which was the cheesy and ignorant “Well Connected “.

  34.  

    Enterprise Board Financial Statements year ended 31 December 2010
    €15,554,000 Budget for Management Development & Training
    plenty of scope there.
    Sean did motovation speeches, an that, aye.

  35.  

    Just like to take John m up on his use of the word ‘mongoloid’ in the comments. I thought this type of reference had been stamped out long ago.

  36.  

    Perhaps he uses it in reference to one of the major branches of humankind.

  37.  

    Good to see that begrudgery is alive and well in Ireland.

    Have any other parties ever received brown envelopes & donations?
    Is this illegal?

    Last night was a witch hunt of the highest order. We’re becoming a mud flinging, tabloid nation, and I think it’s disgraceful.

    I’m refusing to vote in this farce of an election. You all should be ashamed of yourself for taking part in the mud flinging contest.

    Good luck to you.

  38.  

    Go away you chancer. Any possibility of making a sensible comment?

  39.  

    Whoever is unjust let him be unjust still.
    Whoever is righteous let him be righteous still.
    Whoever is filthy let him be filthy still.
    Listen to the words long written down,
    When the man comes around.

  40.  

    I wouldn’t use that word in reference to somebody vulnerable, however unlike Fester I have a real mentor and that mans name is Roy Walker (all bow). Say what you see!

  41.  

    Any relation to Archbishop Magee?

  42.  

    Gallagher thought that he didn’t do anything wrong in soliciting 5000 euros from 40 local businessmen in exchange for a private chat with the then Taiseach ,Brian Cowan. And 500,000 other gob shires didn’t see anything wrong with it either. The sleevin admiration for the cute hoor is alive and well. In the second next general election Fianna Fail will be back in power. We ate a nation of fuck-wits !!

  43.  

    This is one funny topic.

    I can’t stand the sight of SG with his culchie but tough look about him that he wouldn’t be bullied to do anything but he would be the bully.

    As for Enda what a complete rocks he is. He looks like a fella that has just taken some time out of milking the cows to go and then milk the country.

    On a separate note: (possibly discussed elsewhere on this forum)

    People are starving in the country and they on their savage pensions and brown envelopes. Banks being bailed out by the taxpayer and then evicting the taxpayers from their homes! UK are stopping the foreign aid to India in 2016, we certainly should look to these so called entrprenoooors we have to see if they can really sort the country out rather than milking it. What about performance related pay!!!!!

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