The Cliffs of Jesus

 Posted by on November 12, 2011  Add comments
Nov 122011
 

Not content with finding the Virgin Mary in a tree stump, they’ve now found Jesus in the Cliffs of Moher.

I kid you not.  According to an Irish Central report, an American visitor, Sandra Clifford, 42, claims to have seen the face of Jesus on the sheer rock wall.  Sandra’s picture shows a rock formation that, viewed from a certain angle, resembles a bearded man’s face.

Obviously, anything that looks like a bearded man must be Jesus.  It couldn’t be, for example, Charlie Manson, could it?

Or even George Harrison?

 

How about Rasputin?

Not even Jimmy Cliff.

Nope.  It has to be Jesus.  We know what he looks like from the 2,000 year-old photographs taken by the police at his trial.  And anyway, we have the testimony of Teresa O’Flaherty, who owns a local bar.  According to Irish Central,  Teresa describes her reaction to the picture thus:  I was like, wow.  This is a very common West Clare expression.  I’m like, so totally, wow?

Ms Clifford claims to be a sceptic and therefore tested her observation by showing the picture to some German men, who nodded, as you would when some maniac is screaming at you on the edge of a cliff.  But the absolutely conclusive evidence comes when you find out that she showed it to a young Asian girl who replied, inscrutably, Oh yeah, that’s cool.

Rock solid evidence, so to speak.

Jesus isn’t fussy about where he appears.  He once appeared on a dog’s arse, and that’s because he wants to speak to all of us in a way we’ll understand.

The apparition on the cliffs is there so that American pilots will spot it.  Yes, that’s right.  I did say “pilot”.  This woman flies aircraft, which, to me, is perhaps the most worrying part of the whole thing.  What’s going to happen if the seer is at the controls of your flight?

Look!  There’s Jesus in a cloud!  Down there!  Jesus in a field.  See?  Jesus in the ocean!  I have an idea.  Let’s all go to Jesus.

Excellent.  Can we please have the name of the airline Sandra works for?

(Personally, I think it’s Bjorn Borg).

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All posts on apparitions

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Some more random bearded men.

  18 Responses to “The Cliffs of Jesus”

Comments (18)
  1.  

    Oh, sorry – that was actually mine, a self-portrait in cliff. I just forgot to sign it.

  2.  

    Are you working in cliff these days?

  3.  

    Would it be Cliffe Richards by any chance Bock?

  4.  

    If you look to the left, you can see the outline of what looks like a uniformed man, maybe Michael Collins! Then again, people see what they want to see, ah sure if it makes us happy!

  5.  

    I went to the Irish Central site and was distracted by the Gaelic Girls blog – I must have taken my eyes off Jesus!

  6.  

    As a professional witch-doctor, you should know the dangers in taking your eyes off Jesus.

    Jesus might take his eyes off you.

  7.  

    You do know that because of holy apparitions in Knock one Monsignore Hogan managed eventually to establish an airport in same place? With the immortal words “I am god’s pilot”?

    Maybe that American pilot lady is just trying to step in his footsteps and tries to establish a new airport in, say, Doolin? Or maybe she is just an executive of Ryan Air to try to bring Shannon to it’s knees by blackmail?

    Or maybe she is just American.
    Or a religious fundamentalist.
    Or a nutcase.
    Or hormonal.

    Same difference

  8.  

    Bock that was pure class. I was pissing myself laughing at jesus on the dog’s arse. How do you make this stuff up?

  9.  

    crazy stuff. also, if you look slightly beneath and to the right there is another, larger face that looks like Kurt Cobain
    It’s all starting to make sense now…

  10.  

    The Cliffs of Mohair?

  11.  

    When it’s good, i’ll say it – that was a real laugh out loud article – nice end to Monday!!!

  12.  

    Jesus said to tell you that you’re kinda real funny in a real funny kinda way BOCK. And, Satan, his identical twin, he wants the goddamned dog back.

  13.  

    Of course what this pilot saw was the rockface. It reminds me of a video I was watching where the lunatic fringe were looking at cloud formations, when suddenly one woman shouts out ITS HIS BLESSED MOTHER. Yes we are still rearing them.

  14.  

    Jesus rocks dude.

  15.  

    No dude. Lou Reed and Metallica rock !

  16.  

    Yes indeed Joe but as much as I love Lou reed he was a bit shit with Metallica on Jools Holland’s show on Saturday night.

  17.  

    I’m just curious as to how they know what Jesus looks like,aside from the various artist concepts out there of him.I guess some folks need to believe in something,even if deep down they know its false.

  18.  

    They have copies of the arrest photos.

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