Investigating Anglo-Irish Bank

If you were in charge of a criminal investigation into the collapse of a bank, how many people would you put on the job?

Hmm.  Now there’s a tough one.  If it was the collapse of a piggy-bank, I suppose you’d do it yourself and blame Mr Nobody for pushing it off the shelf.  You might even choose to ignore those suspicious-looking chocolate-smeared fingers.  But suppose the collapse had lost thirty, forty, fifty billion or even more, and threatened not only to bankrupt a country but trigger the collapse of an entire world currency.  What then?

You’re probably already thinking in the hundreds, aren’t you?  Expert forensic investigators from all over the world.  Detectives.   Accountants. Psychics, even!   Torturers.  Waterboarding.  Extraordinary rendition.


No.  Not if you happen to be Ireland.

If you’re Ireland, you’ll put eleven policemen on the case.

That’s right.  I said eleven.  11.  One short of a dozen.

That’s how many cops we have investigating what is widely acknowledged to be the worst bank in the world.  The worst financial scandal in Irish history and perhaps even in the entire history of Europe is being investigated by a smaller team than most countries would assign to investigate a rural post-office robbery.

Is it any wonder that Anglo staff have failed to assist the investigation and in some cases deliberately obstructed it?

All they need to do is sit back and wait while these eleven policemen disappear under a mountain of deliberately-confusing paper. Seriously now, even if this little team is composed of the brightest and the best, what hope do they have?  There are some — perhaps many — Anglo employees from the bad old days still working in the newly-renamed dead bank, the Irish Bank Resolution Corporation, and it is not in their interests to help these eleven policemen.  Most of them may not fear exposure as criminals, but many certainly risk being shown up as fools, cynics, incompetents and general all-round gobshites.

In my opinion, Anglo requires the American approach.  Perp-walks and orange suits for everyone.  Scare the shit out of them so that everyone is terrified of even a hint that they might have resisted the inquiry.

That’ll get their attention.  That and four hundred extra police to kick down their office doors.

16 thoughts on “Investigating Anglo-Irish Bank

  1. Take all Anglo staff, put them in orange jumpsuits on One of the Skelligs. No food, no nothing. Only chance to get back to a real comfy prison is to tell the truth.

  2. could they not spare a few from the 200 needed to keep a building site open in Mayo.I wonder how many were used to investigate the cowen potrait case.

  3. A civilized society cannot dole out the justice that those responsible deserve.
    One entire country totally fucked for generations. I don’t think that any of them will ever be accused in a court of law anyway.

  4. In light of the current cuts of Frontline staff, 11 Garda seem like a overstaffing in what will be surely a futile exercise.

    Given that in an area of 209,955 population ( 2011 census ) there are 2 Garda on duty at night.

  5. Set up to produce the outcome those who hold the power want – nothing unusual in that. If anyone is interested enough they can look outside this Island and learn how administrations with more integrity have developed or been developed and then set about creating change here. I’m sure people have been doing / have done just that – the issue is probably whether there is a strong enough desire to support efforts for change. Probably not given our track record.

  6. Sometimes the Baker’s dozen can be more than one two many.
    The cops involved are probably heading off with the Croke Park thingy anyway.
    But really, have you noticed more than a dozen who truly give a shit about Anglo?
    Perhaps I’m going deaf myself but I can honestly state that I have not heard one person in over two years make more than a passing mention of them.
    That to me says it all.
    But Australia’s looking good these days; I hear.

  7. It is truly mindboggling and i have to admit if you dwell on it for too long depressing to think that only 11 Gardai are involved in investigating these shower of greedy corrupt arseheads!!! I am now totally and utterly 100% convinced that there is no political will to bring these people to justice. Yes totally depressing!!

  8. I didn’t see the original story, but I wonder whether it said anything about how many non-Gardaí were working on the case. I understand, for example, that the Office of the Director of Corporate Enforcement employs accountants and lawyers as well as having Gardaí seconded to it. bjg

  9. So you want to make sure you don’t regulate the banking system so …

    1. pick a fucking eejit like Patrick Neary, let him languish in the ‘job’ for as long as it takes, give him staff who don’t give a shit and oversee the whole lot with various ministers for finance who don’t give a shit about anything except

    a. horse racing and champagne
    b. beer and fags

    and a taoiseach with plastic bags full of money he won on the horses.

    2. have a career civil servant with neer a clue about banking to oversee the central bank (not the current Mr. Honohan but the last fecker)

    3.bring to the boil and simmer with the cover on

    Result : A big pile of shite ‘n’ onions (to quote J.Joyce)

    So I’m not surprised that they put only 11 guards (with possibly not a clue about white collar crime’ in charge of the investigation because ……they don’t want a real answer and the final result will be

    We’ll pay for it
    and Seanie and the boys will go laughing into the night (and golfing in Marabella)

    I love this fucking ‘cunt’ry


  10. The guards never had any stomach for white-collar crime and have an un-official policy of positive discrimination in favour of bankers generally.The guards love money and like to keep close to it.Bankers have traditionally given guards special treatment.
    The nearest town to me has about 45 guards,36 of them assigned to traffic.Go figure

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