Economy Politics

Troika Inspectors Give Ireland an A-Grade

Well, aren’t we the best boys and girls in the whole wide world?

Yet again, we’ve managed to hit our targets for the Troika, and all we had to do was cut hospital budgets, reduce nursing home beds, sack special needs assistants, fire home helps, reduce teacher numbers, lose nurses, cancel infrastructure programmes, cut wages, increase taxes and send all our children to Australia.


After all, what country would not sacrifice its future generations to save the international hedge funds and speculative investors like Roman Abramovich?  What’s a few thousand emigrants compared to the danger that Chelsea might not be able to afford a striker?  I don’t want to hear all this namby-pamby Commie-talk about secondary markets.  So what if the original investors have already taken the hit and sold off their bonds?  The fact is that Mr Abramovich has bought that paper, even if it was at 10 cents in the euro, and by the laws of capitalism, he’s fully entitled to his 1000% profit.  He’s so entitled, indeed, that you and I are going to guarantee it.


And that’s what makes us the best boys and girls in the whole wide world.  We Irish don’t fight, and that’s because for generations we were taught to be passive, thanks to the Roman Catholic church, God bless it.  We don’t have a sense of outrage, thanks to a  school system that rewards compliance and acquiescence.  We don’t ask hard questions on this island, because it isn’t part of our culture.  Anyone who asks hard questions is branded a troublemaker, as we saw clearly when healthcare professionals remained silent for fear of losing their jobs as Michael Neary butchered one woman after another in the Lourdes hospoital.  It took a Belfast-trained nurse to blow the whistle.  In the very same Catholic hospital, every single member of staff developed selective blindness and deafness when a senior doctor was sexually abusing patients.

We saw it again recently, when the HSE declined to renew the contract of a nurse who questioned the standard of care for old people in Clare.

I have no doubt at all that staff in the office of the financial regulator were equally aware of the shenanigans in Anglo Irish Bank and in Irish Nationwide.  I’m sure many civil servants knew what a useless lap-dog of the bankers their boss was, but were terrified to speak out for fear of victimisation by colleagues who didn’t wish to disturb the status quo.

And meanwhile, the cop continued to play golf with the robbers before collecting a huge pension when his hosts collapsed the economy and he was found out as an incompetent fool, to put it at its kindest.

RTE’s use of the phrase bail-out bothers me.  They were at it again tonight in their report on the troika visit, reporting that the Anglo bail-out would cost this that and the other.  Stop!  Let’s be clear about something, and I’m going to keep repeating it until my throat is red-raw if I have to.

We are not bailing out Anglo.  We are not bailing out Irish Nationwide.  This money is going to enrich the Russian mafia.  Don’t ever forget that.

These banks are dead.  Deceased.  They will never again do business with anyone.

Therefore, all the stuff we were fed about restoring credit is nonsense.  Neither Anglo nor INBS will ever again lend a single penny to anyone, yet we poured forty billlion into them.


If not a bank bailout, then why don’t we call it what it is — a bailout of the investors?

Why?  Did these investors  invest money in the Irish state?

No.  They did not.  They invested money in the hope of making money from a private company, and as we all know, investement carries a risk, unless you happen to be an investor in a failed Irish commercial bank.

Did Anglo or INBS operate as banks on street?  They did not.

Did Anglo or INBS have a single ATM that you could use to extract a few shillings for a night on the town?  Certainly not.  Both banks were conduits for property developers’ money and nothing else.  They had no relevance to the broader economy and did not need to be rescued.  Indeed, it was obvious that they could not be rescued, and yet, the two fools, Brian and Brian, decided to commit enormous amounts of your money and mine in order to make sure that nobody would lose any money when they collapsed.

Can you think of any other business where that would happen?  I can’t.

Lenihan and Cowen plundered our economy and sacrificed future generations in order to make sure that the collapse of these two pyramid schemes didn’t endanger the stability of European or American banks.  Their international masters informed them that this was to prevent “contagion” in the spurious banking  terminology that takes legitimate scientific terms and subverts their meaning to the service of the spin industry.

But ultimately, they did it because the bankers went to them in September 2008 and lied through their teeth.  Lenihan and Cowen capitulated, extended a blanket guarantee that nobody believed, and in doing so, committed our future generations to unemployment and emigration.

The austerity we experience today is a direct result of that half-witted decision and although times would be hard anyway, the fiscal position wouldn’t be nearly as difficult if we didn’t have to pay for the bail-out of the international investors who put their money in Fitzy’s scam and the Fingers Ponzi scheme.  We should certainly be paying our national bills, but I don’t know why we’re making sure the Russian mafia makes a killing.

I can’t remember ever making a guaranteed bet.  Can you?

So there you go.  The Troika inspectors head off after a couple of weeks in a top-class hotel.  Stars in our copybook.  Fitzy and Fingers get paid.  Best boys and girls in the whole wide world and all we had to do was cut hospital budgets, reduce nursing home beds, sack special needs assistants, fire home helps, reduce teacher numbers, lose nurses, cancel infrastructure programmes, cut wages, increase taxes and send all our children to Australia.

A doddle.


1 reply on “Troika Inspectors Give Ireland an A-Grade”

Pity the Troika weren’t as interested in what was going on with (eg) Russian Mafia investment gambling before it all came tumbling down. It’s as if they’re the insurance policy for protected interests – sent in afterwards to clean up the mess.

(Sort of reminds me of a Pulp Fiction scene!)

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