Did you ever hear of cardinal Keith O’Brien, a Scottish cardinal and Archbishop of Edinburgh? No. Neither did I until the silly old bugger started ranting against legalising gay marriage in Britain.
Keith’s a lad from Ballycastle in Antrim who moved to Scotland when he was a kid, and eventually ended up as a Catholic Archbishop. Keith has been an Archbishop for years and years and years and years and years, which means that for for years and years and years and years and years people have been kissing his arse. This is not a healthy thing for a celibate man with no experience of relationships, marriage, family responsibility or sexuality.
It just cannot be good to have people kissing your arse when deep inside you happen to be repressed, sexually-dysfunctional and enraged with a world that stopped you getting laid, even the once, but I suppose it’s one step better than people slapping his arse. Imagine what he’d be saying then.
Is it any wonder then that Keith, Cardinal O’Brien, would be fulminating against gay marriage? After all, this guy comes from a tradition that saw pregnant young women locked up in convents as slaves but could find nothing wrong with raping little boys. He comes from a tradition, to put it bluntly, of utter nutcases and because he bears the title Cardinal, Keith has swallowed his own propaganda, but what would you expect from someone whose boss is infallible?
Keith, I’m sorry to report, is also either deeply stupid or deeply dishonest, if this quote is to be believed:
Imagine for a moment that the Government had decided to legalise slavery but assured us that “no one will be forced to keep a slave.
The comparison is so dishonest, I found myself temporarily stuck for words. It reminded me of the patronising nonsense Irish bishops used to tell our people until we realised what a bunch of bullshitters they were, but then it occurred to me that Keith might perhaps have been voicing a private subliminal anxiety. Maybe Keith is speculating that the relationship between two equal consenting adults is equivalent to that between a master and a slave. Not that he’d know, having never taken part in a mature, adult relationship.
Of course, that doesn’t stop him lobbying the British government, just as successive bishops in this country applied political pressure against contraception, divorce and even the rights of gay people to exist.
David Cameron seems to be determined to change the law in Britain so that gay marriage would become legal, going one step further than out civil partnership laws, and I think he deserves respect for that if people are allowed to conduct their lives in way that ffords them peace and dignity, but Keith somehow feels that such a move would conflict with his own rights.
If anything conflicted with his rights, it would be a law forbidding old men from remaining celibate all their lives while at the same time pronouncing on the rights of people who wish to live together in a stable relationship.
If he had been entirely honest, instead of dragging irrelevant slavery references into the debate, he would simply have said Imagine for a moment that the Government had decided to legalise marriage for everyone but assured us that “no one will be forced to marry.
That would have been a proper comparison instead of the slippery, dishonest word-play that Keith O’Brien decided to engage in.
The old bishops make much of the heterosexual nature of marriage — in particular the possibility that it should be open to reproduction (a subject close to the hearts of all clerics, whether Catholic, Jewish or Muslim, for some reason). But of course, if marriage had to be open to reproduction, then in order to be consistent, the bishops would have to oppose marriage between people who, for one reason or another, are unable to have children. They might be too old, or they might have some physical condition preventing conception. Or they might simply not want any kids.
These bishops have too much time on their hands worrying about gay marriage and the like when they might more usefully apply themselves to the problems of their own church, of clerics buggering little boys and bishops covering it up. But I suppose it’s all a bottle of smoke anyway, since the RC hierarchy have discredited themselves so much that nobody gives a rat’s arse what they think.