Message to a Bluebottle

Fly, I want you to know that I am not a violent man.

I find myself inclined to agree with Tristram Shandy’s uncle Toby as he released one of your kind into the air: This world surely is wide enough to hold both thee and me.  Toby’s is a sentiment I agree with and it would make me far happier if you decided to buzz out the open window right now.

But if you decide to remain in my kitchen, soiling all that you touch, I will certainly end your short life, here and now.

Fly, I sincerely hope you have a laptop and access to the internet.  Furthermore, I hope you are an avid reader of Bock the Robber, because otherwise, you have a fatal appointment with a rolled-up newspaper.

 

_______________

Also

 

Webs

Something revolting

7 thoughts on “Message to a Bluebottle

  1. Rentokil spray. The only artificial device that has ever come close to Auntie Biddy’s flick with the wet corner of a dishcloth forty years ago. No drone or laser-guided missile with sattelite tracking has ever approached Auntie Biddy’s dishcloth for accuracy and 100% kill rate.

  2. Rentokil spray. The only artificial device that has ever come close to Auntie Biddy’s flick with the wet corner of a dishcloth forty years ago. No drone or laser-guided missile with satellite tracking has ever approached Auntie Biddy’s dishcloth for accuracy and 100% kill rate.

  3. Electric fly swat every time,that is if you can find them on a flat surface or some such place “resting”.

  4. Blue bottles are an outdoor insect and will generally fly out again if given the chance – open wide the door; very few actual houseflies around these days but lots of those pesky fruit fly things.

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