Jun 092012

Ronan Keating abused me in Yiddish, said my musician friend.

What?  How the fuck did that happen?

Well, I was at the Tom Petty gig the other night in the O2, and we were heading to the bar for a fresh one, but I noticed it was closed, so I turned around to tell the lads.


And I accidentally stood on this guy’s toe.  Lightly.

How did that happen?

He had his leg sprawled out in the aisle where people were walking.

It was Ronan Keating, right?


Ronan Keating the Z-lister mini-celeb?

The very man.  And because he had his foot stuck out in the aisle, I accidentally stepped on his hand-tooled lizard-penis cowboy boot.

But you apologised, no doubt?

I tried to apologise.  I said sorry about that, but he called me a fucking klutz.

A klutz?  I didn’t know they spoke Yiddish on De Naartsoide.

They don’t.  Who says Klutz, already?

And you replied?

Of course I withdrew my apology and said Fuck you, schtickholtz!  You fucking schmuck.

Oy vey!  I bet he didn’t like that.  Did he jump up and hit you?

No.  He might be a shtarker, but he’s also a fucking pakhdn.  Kish m’in toukhes, I told him, you fucking schlemiel!

And what happened then?

Come on, he told his little pal.  We’re leaving.  And they left, half way through the show!  

I was astounded.  They missed a Tom Petty gig because Ronan didn’t like you accidentally stepping on his toe?

Yep.  He’s  a fucking shvantz.  Stup ir!  I shouted at him as he left but he didn’t answer.

You can do anything but stay off of my lizard-penis boots? I ventured.

That about sums it up, replied my buddy.  I didn’t know he was a midget though.

That might explain it right enough.  Pint?

Sure.  Why not?  Meshuggeneh!



Saying nothing.  How to do it properly.






  21 Responses to “Ronan Keating Abuses Real Musician In Yiddish”

Comments (21)

    Wait till Tommy Tiernan gets a hold of this.


    I was there that night an saw what happened, to be honest if I’d have been him I’d have clumped you, you were very rude. Also for your info he never left the gig early he stayed to the end, he just moved to a different location.


    Why would you have clumped me? I wasn’t there. Do you normally go around clumping people?

    If you ever try to clump me, I’ll clump you back.


    Arron, I too was at the gig in question and I was advised that it was completely sold out. I just wonder where he relocated to if there were no seats left? If he went to the VIP lounge, he couldn’t have seen the gig and, if he had reserved more than one seat for himself, he’s a much bigger prick than I gave him credit for.
    Also, if an apology was offered and rebuffed with insults by Mr Keating, the musician in question had every right to be rude back.


    i wasn’t at the concert but Ronan tweeted at the gig and said it was one of the best he’d ever been to. He said the crowd were all singing ole, ole and said how much he loved it! , infact he tweeted again the next day to again say how incredible the concert was and to thank the promter for inviting him. So to me that hardly sounds like a man that was supposed to have walked out half way through in discust. He was there as a special guest of the promoter so I suspect the promoter would have had other availible seats too if he felt that he needed to move away for the abuse he was subjected to.


    I agree. Stepping on his lizard-penis boots is pretty abusive, even by accident. But tell me this. Have you any idea why Ronan speaks Yiddish?


    Sarah, you weren’t there and Ronan didn’t tweet anything about this incident. How do you know he was subjected to abuse? What’s your source for this?


    That seems like a fair question, Sarah. Since you weren’t at the gig, how do you know Ronan was subjected to abuse?


    Ok I wasnt there but the original poster didnt seem to like Ronan even before the incident. If he didn’t even notice his foot maybe he was worse for wear on his way to the bar. So he steps on his foot while shouting across to a large group of his mates that the bar is closed. Then spys the owner of the foot and makes a half hearted appology. When Ronan didnt respond in the way he thought was right he shouted at him “Fuck you, schtickholtz! You fucking schmuck.” Cant blame him from moving away, especially as he and his friend were out numbered. The last thing he needs right now is a scene, so hardly surprised that he and his friend decieded to just move to another location. Luckily it didnt spoil the concert for him.

    Sometimes you dont have to be there to get a jist of what happened.


    Sarah, I despair for you. I really do. How do you survive in the real world?


    You’re absolutely right, Sarah, there is no possible way that Ronan could in any way be even a hint of a gowl. He has sang covers for years so he should be allowed to have his foot in the aisle without having anyone stand on it. He’s a fucking genius. In fact, fair play to Ronan Keating for condescening to attend a gig by an actual songwriter! Fair play to him.
    Sorry, Sarah, what I meant to say is… hang on… oh yeah, fuck off, will ya! You and Arron weren’t there. I wasn’t either but the point of the post is that Ronan was a stroppy bitch.


    Maybe Ronan was confused. Maybe he was just trying to identify the autotune


    Maybe Keating was just in a bad mood, we all get grumpy now and again.

    I assume you’re exaggerating when you say your “musician friend” said “Fuck you, schtickholtz! You fucking schmuck” but if you’re not, then to be honest he sounds like an ignorant prick.


    I think Ronan is great…

    Life is a rollercoaster was an original too!!

    People stomping on you can be annoying
    Even Elvis sang about it- You can do anything but stay off of my blue seude shoes.
    Watch where you’re going you fuckin’ klutz doesn’t sound that bad to me.. not like he belted him with his handbag or anything.

    Well, you can knock me down,
    Step in my face,
    Slander my name
    All over the place.
    Do anything that you want to do, but uh-uh,
    Honey, lay off of my shoes


    Of all the Blogs in all of Cyberspace, a Ronan Keating Twitter follower wandered into this one !


    Alanzo — My musician friend constantly talks like a geriatric New York used-car dealer. Doesn’t everyone?


    Let me just clarify a few things here. Are we now saying that your friend and his mates were drunken thugs shouting all manner of abuse? Your friend attempted to apologise and was met with a stroppy reply. Maybe he should’ve just ignored it but, mood or no mood, he was a prick throwing a bit of a strop. I would’ve probably called him some manner of wanker.
    Oh, and by the way, that horrible Life is a Rollercoaster song was not a Keating original. It was written for him by Gregg Alexander of The New Radicals. Ronan does not write his own songs.


    That’s right. Drunken thugs, and they speak Yiddish, just like Ronan.


    Ronan the Librarian…why Oh why must you be so aggressive. I know it hasn’t been easy for you over the years singing gibberish in Yiddish to teenage girls.
    But for fuck sake Ronan, calm down you spud! Kicking the shins of honourable musicians in frustration just wont do. For a start you could try singing a song in your natural voice, instead of that Cat Stevens on valium and whiskey style you seem to employ on all your vocal recordings.
    Stop kicking good musicians now! We all want to help you out man, especially if your singing ‘By the window’


    FF1: I doubt that this reply will endear me to you any more, but Ronan has never done anything original. He does not write his own songs. I know this because there is a friend of mine – I do have friends, FF1, mind boggling, isn’t it – who is registered as a songwriter received an email asking him to write songs for Ronan’s new album. He specifically asked for songs about his marriage break up. Yes, that’s right, he can’t even write about his own life.
    You have every right to like Ronan. Each to their own and all that, but please don’t try to excuse him by saying it’s perfectly alright to respond to an apology with abuse and not expect abuse in return.


    Oh no. Have I drawn you on me now Captain Piehole? Fuck fuck fuck.

    I love Ronan.. and you won’t change my mind on that one.
    Life is a rolllllacooaster baby just gotta ride it.

    It’s a classic. I don’t care if he wrote it or not. He sung it superbly and his dancing was cool.. Better than yours I suspect.

Leave a Reply