Schroedinger’s Press Release. Higgs Boson Announced and Unannounced at the Same Time.

The Higgs Boson exists, the Higgs Boson doesn’t exist, at one and the same time.  Or to be more precise, it may not exist, until we observe its existence tomorrow when CERN finally hold their press conference and tell us what they found.

But until then, we have to accept that, like Schroedinger’s cat, the Higgs boson is both dead and alive.

How did this happen?  Simple.  An as-yet unconfirmed particle, the Glitch, with little mass but positive spin, found its way into the equipment and forced a video onto the internet confirming the discovery.

For the next twelve hours or so, the universe is in mortal danger as we try to contain this paradoxical singularity.  The Higgs boson both exists and is yet to exist.   Molecules everywhere are in a state of complete discombobulation as they try to make their minds up what to do.  Will they fly at the speed of light, free for the first time in their endless lives?  Or will they continue trudging through the interstitial Higgs-induced space-soup like good soldiers in a timeless war of matter and energy?

This is not an easy dilemma for molecules, but it’s an easily-resolved one.  In this little time interval, the way is open for them to do both.

Go fly, my lovelies!  Live for this brief moment, free of the laws of physics.  Your fate will be sealed soon enough when the CERN geeks make their announcement one way or the other, but for now, why not fly among the stars with Schroedinger’s ambivalent feline?

Tomorrow is another day.




More Schroedinger posts.

Schroedinger’s Cattle

Schroedinger’s Bank



24 thoughts on “Schroedinger’s Press Release. Higgs Boson Announced and Unannounced at the Same Time.

  1. Just imagine the disaster for the diet and weight-loss industry if Higgs didn’t exist. They’d be out of business even before they started.

  2. Good idea, the Higgs-Boson Diet – eat and drink as much as you like. The reason our weighing scales are showing higher numbers is because the universe is expanding to make room for us.

  3. The propensity of a Higgs-Boson to particularize or not is of no concern to me – even if it is shown to exist, I have taken a decision, based on faith, not to believe in it.

  4. Apologies for the bad joke, but I couldn’t resist, and its thematically appropriate.

    A Higgs-Boson walks into a church, and the priest says “We don’t allow Higgs-Bosons in here.”

    The Higgs-Boson says “But without me how can you have mass?

  5. Schroedinger’s cat is out of the box. If more people studied real science we would have a more intellegent humanity based not on relgious superstition. I see that Minister Quinn still puts Irish as one the core subjects and Physics is not included.

  6. Irish should be a core subject. You’re in Ireland. You’re Irish. It makes up the essence of who you are. As an Irish British person, it probably makes up a slice of who I am. So I say practice it, venerate it, celebrate it – alongside all the other core subjects you mention.

  7. Bock, the reason is that physics ties into maths and rather have it than Irish, as to Les , English is my mother tongue and I am not interested in this Irish language debate… I also speak German fluently and Irish for me is a waste of my time.

  8. Physics is the fundamental study of Nature, in other words, in physics we want to find out how stuff works.

  9. Hang now
    Are these the points?
    “Physics is the fundamental study of Nature”

    “You’re in Ireland. You’re Irish.”

    Thanks.. Good ones!
    I did not know them points!

  10. Just teasin..
    so soooorrreee.

    I hope Paddy isn’t one of those guys that will hound me forever more.. oh oh. Very Sorry Paddy.. just teasin’.. Come back.

  11. It was because you did not get his point Bock..
    I often feel misunderstood.. it’s ok Paddy.. come back.

  12. The Higgs boson was discovered 2 weeks ago in a lab at Queens University, Belfast and was lodged with the Ulster bank for safekeeping..

  13. It was under the couch all along!

    Wocka wocka!

    I’m going to scream the next time i hear some know-nothing radio news gobshite say the words ‘god particle’.
    No physicist ever called it a ‘god particle’, apparently some publisher didn’t want the word “goddamned” on the front of their book so the author acquiesced and shortened it.

  14. When are they going to announce that they’ve discovered the Meaning of Life? If they eventually don’t I’m gonna clamber up to the top of the spire opposite the GPO and throw myself off the top withou a parachute.

  15. therefore, the LHC (designed to collide two 7 TeV proton beams, but currently running at 4 TeV each) was built to answer the question of whether or not the Higgs boson exists.

  16. Without the existence of the Higgs Boson, there is only energy, no matter. Without it particles do not have mass. You and me and everything else are plum ripe with them. Photons, not so much. This is why photons behave as both a particle and a wave.

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