People were complaining to me about the speed of this site, but I ignored them, mostly because I didn’t have the time to bother with it. Besides which, I’m not an internet professional. I’m just a gobshite who writes stuff that might or might not interest anyone.
Still, it annoyed me that there should be such problems, and finally I decided to do something about it in the last few days.
My Google speed rating was something like 62 out of 100, which doesn’t look all that great, even to my untutored eye, but in the end it was a small matter to bring it up to a respectable level, even for an idiot like me.
Having performed various little tweaks, it currently stands at 95 out of 100, using the Google assessment tool, which is ok, comparing favourably with many local sites (and here, please forgive me for being parochial).
For example, limerick.ie, a site paid for and operated by the local authority, scores an abysmal 23 out of 100, yet I have no doubt in my my mind that this site is managed by the finest internet professionals known to mankind.
Likewise, limericklocalheroes.com only manages 87 out of 100. Now, I’m not saying that this is a poor result, but compared to a snake-oil salesman such as myself, I would have thought that a highly-trained professional could surely do better.
What about the local rag? Well, sadly, I’m sorry to report, limerickleader.ie fares slightly worse than Local Heroes, despite its access to keenly-honed killer professionals. 86/100. Sorry.
It’s time to look further afield, I fear.
RTE? Now that’s better. Their multimillion euro budget brings them to within one point of a website run on a shoestring by an unlettered gobshite from Limerick. 94/100.
Disappointingly, the BBC only scores 79/100, while the Google analyzer is likewise scathing of the Huffington Post at 90/100.
So there you have it. Internet nonsense exposed in thirty seconds. You can spend thousands on a website that’s still shit, you can pay more thousands to people who call themselves professionals and still end up with shit performance, or you can apply a little intelligence as an interested amateur and do better than the whole lot of them.
This is why the internet is so full of chancers and frauds. Nobody understands a single thing about it, including, often enough, those who tout themselves as consultants and web professionals.
Just out of interest, I decided to check out Google’s own performance by its own standards, and guess what?
Google scores 99/100. That leaves one percent room for improvement.
Must try harder. Maybe they’d like a little advice.