Law Motoring

Scrapyards. What’s Not to Like?

Somebody backed into the old motor and made shite of all the plastic trim surrounding the reg plate.

Very annoying.  Very, very irritating.

Even more irritating when I went for the NCT and they failed me due to what?  Sharp edges, that’s what.

Sharp fucking edges.  Nothing else was wrong with the car.  Nothing at all.   Nothing.  It was perfect apart from a little bit of cracked plastic.

Why the fuck is that  a failure in the NCT?  Am I likely to be driving along at 75 mph  when some hapless pedestrian gets sucked into my slipstream and hacked to pieces by the jagged edges of the broken plastic around the registration plate?

It wasn’t the only sharp-edged thing they failed me for though.  The rear indicator was also cracked where some fool with a supermarket trolley banged against it.  That’s a fail too.

What next – ugliness?

Sorry Sir, but your car is revolting,  Somebody might get sick if they see it.  Fail.

Is this the Nanny State or what?  My car is dangerous because it has a little bit of broken plastic on the boot lid.  What?

Anyway, this being Ireland, the tester explained how to get around the problem.  Just put a bit of tape over the sharp bits and bring it back.

But it will still be broken.

True, but it won’t be sharp any more.

Jesus Christ!

I stuck some duct tape on the broken bits and sure enough, it passed the re-test, which was good for me, though annoying, since I couldn’t see why it failed in the first place.  But at least, as a visual, I didn’t have to give them any more money.

Now, I don’t know what you’re like, but it annoys the shit out of me to pay good money to thieving main dealers for grossly-overpriced parts.  I’ve always been like that and I probably always will be.  It annoys me.  It annoys me especially when that part happens to be a piece of plastic that contributes not a tittle to the car’s safety or performance, and so I left it for a while, but eventually it started getting on my nerves.  I didn’t like that silver duct-tape stuck all over the boot of the car, and so I finally dropped in to that well-run scrapyard, operated by those well-spoken, polite, helpful Polish lads.

I don’t miss the days when you had to explain yourself to a fat smelly lout who might or might not speak any English — and he’d be a local guy.Thankfully, all the scrapyards these days are operated by well-educated Central European people who understand exactly what you want and can communicate in good English, for a change.

I approach the counter.

Have you got this, that and the other?

I will check.  One moment, please.  Yes, we have.  Do you want it?

I do.

Please wait.

And within ten minutes, a polite, well-spoken Polish lad appears with precisely the part I require.

How much?

Twenty euros.

It took me half an hour to remove the old part and fit the new one.  Suddenly, the motor doesn’t look like battered any more and I didn’t have to pay a main dealer hundreds of ill-deserved notes for an over-priced replacement.


Jesus, I love scrapyards, although it’s a pity that times have changed so much.  In the old days you could wander in there yourself and randomly tear useful bits off cars as they teetered three-high, swaying gently in the wind.  These days, for some reason, you have to wait at a counter when you’d be more than happy to have a go yourself with a socket set, but no.


Why else?  It’s the Nanny State, isn’t it?  The State that isn’t happy to let people skin their knuckles in scrapyards but is quite prepared to let disabled people languish untended in their own homes to save money on home helps.  Ah, but that’s for another day.


15 replies on “Scrapyards. What’s Not to Like?”

Scrapyards are the only thing keeping the 2 vehicles in my life going. who can afford nowadays to pay the main Renault dealer €200 for a part that even they think you should go buy from a scrappie.

They have been trying to re-open Fenton’s Yard for the past year and no doubt bogged down in red tape and planning.

Not as big a fan of those Polish lads as you are, they are slightly easier than their Castleconnel cousins though.

I suspect that all the parts that are rare enough are kept for real mechanics rather than people who want to cut out the mechanics cut. I was trying to get a diesel pump over the summer, with no joy, thankfully a lovely couple of Latvian lads came from Arklow and fixed it saving me €1500 in the process. The conspiracy theory starts here.

The nanny state serves to create great wealth for many useless types.
I remember when health and safety was a real matter where lives depended on awareness of it.
Officially it is now a means to an end, a source of income.
The health and safety industry during the Tiger years became one of the biggest and most useless out there.
Every step in H&S was legislated for too.
Say thanks to our membership of the EU.

The NCT is another money making racket enforced on us by Bertie Ahern and Charlie McCreavey. The best of the lot though is the fact it is not worth the paper it is written on.

It took a tragic accident in which a life was lost for this fact to come to light. At the Limerick Coroners Court a few years back an inquest into the death of a young lady was heard. one of the front wheels fell off her car causing her to lose control and crash and sadly die soon afterwards. That morning the car had passed the NCT test. Here is where it gets interesting, a representative of NCT was called to give evidence in the inquest due to the fact that the vehicle had only passed the NCT test a few hours earlier.

I cannot remember his fully prepared statement in it’s entirety but I shall endeavor to summarise it. A vehicle which has passed the NCT test is deemed to be safe, but it is only considered to be safe at the moment in time which the certificate of passing is signed, so that once the car leaves the ramp at the test facility it is no longer considered safe.

This makes any reasonable person wonder what the purpose the NCT test serves. It exposes it as a money making exercise, pure and simple. Some people are under the illusion that NCT cert is a form of warranty, and many dealers portray it as such.

Who’s to say what dealers will claim? The term Used Car Salesman has come to epitomise crooks and chancers.

Nobody ever said that the NCT is a warranty, but it is certainly a thorough examination of a car. I’d be far happier driving a vehicle with an NCT certificate than one that had passed no test.

Yer right there Bock there were no scrapyards in Ireland before the Poles arrived, Petie Long ran a Launderette and Pat O’Mara ran a pet shop
There were no mechanics either, could’nt fix a car to save our lives.
No Painters, we just bought cans of paint to admire them on the side board.
No Plasterers, shur if you plastered a wall you would have to paint it, and we had no painters.
No plumbers, the auld immersion worked by magic.
No shop assistants
No Bar staff, shur you could’nt get a pint anywhere
No fuck all at all, I don’t know how we managed,

Interestingly they don’t seem to be so prominent in the Trades/Professions where you have to prove your qualifications, severe shortage of Polish teachers, solicitors, doctors, dentists, accountants, architects, engineers etc., funny that.

So, here is my solution to this country’s woes.

fire the entire banking sector and give the jobs to Poles, they are past masters at fincanial wizardry, they have successfully repatriated €9 billion from Ireland to Poland in the last ten years. (Polish Central Bank figures)

Fire the entire Public Service and give the jobs to Poles, if they bring the same economies of scale to the Public Service that they bring to other trades, we should be able to slash the Public Service pay bill to about 1/3 what it is now, balance the Public finances overnight, win win for everyone

The rest of us?, well, we can do what the Irish do best, we can all emigrate.

p.s. in a country fixated by “competition” there are only two organistaions with a monopoly, the Competition Authority and the NCT, who also have the force of law to drive the customers in the door, a capitalists wet dream.

Great little country altogether… for some.

@jbkenn:”Interestingly they don’t seem to be so prominent in the Trades/Professions where you have to prove your qualifications, severe shortage of Polish teachers, solicitors, doctors, dentists, accountants, architects, engineers etc., funny that.”

Yes. there is something funny about that, reason for is because said bodies generally refuse to “recognise” (whatever that means) the qualifications those people often do have, in order to protect their extortionate rates/clique clubs. By the way, do you have any figures at all on how many £ or $ have been repatriated to this country over the last couple of centuries?

Anyway, scrapyards, yep, they are the bees knees.Is that the one out near CastleConnel? The last time I was there there was a big water-filled pit at the back of it, one of the lads told me it was stocked with “mackerel”, lol. Wasn’t sure if he was pulling my leg or serious!

I am a motor mechanic in New South Wales and I have an inspection certificate to test motor vehicles for yearly registration. Many cars are failed because of some minor defect(s) that dosn’t really matter in real terms but may well sting the owner for a lot of money if he wants to stay on the road. It is all in the name “safety” or “environment” or “health” or some suchlike “social concern” which IS IMPORTANT in itself but in actual fact is just a blanket excuse for all sorts of excesses and to reply aganst these things is to be seen as very anti-social or even irresponsible and over the past 25 years or so has fostered the growth of a myriad of parasite industries. However, this practice is not confined to the motor trade. It is also very lucrative for governments with innumerable provisions for imprisonment, fines, fees, licenses, permits and whathaveyougot!

Reminds me of the snappy comment by James Bond when he returned from a scrapyard scrap with one of them bad guys, resulting in the bad guy’s body being dropped inside a car into the giant crusher: ” I’m afraid he couldn’t come – he had a pressing engagement.”

Here in Ireland now for a few weeks. That NCT must be the big daddy of all the rip-offs !!
New South Wales — ALL IS FORGIVEN !!!!

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