Isn’t it a lovely feeling , as the evenings shorten and Christmas approaches in these recessionary times?
Warm, glowing fires, families huddled around the crackling banisters as their dads prise up floorboards in the spare bedroom, with all the kids looking forward to their presents.
Here. Have a coloured pebble. Happy Christmas.
Look. I got a, a, well, a thing. Look, lads. I got a thing!
What does it turn into? Nothing really, though it does a reasonable impersonation of an adult, grown-up Prime Minister, and that’s why the clever old Germans called it an Enda. Who said the Germans had no sense of humour?
Here’s what the Enda can do.
Press the button on its back and it walks around the room holding out its hand until someone shakes it.
Pat its head and it cringes cutely.
Speak to the Enda and it repeats everything you said, word for word. (Note: loud voice required).
Praise the Enda and it shits on all the other dolls.
A perfect gift for rich kids at Christmas. The best action-figure in the whole wide world.