Apr 142013
 

As the Constitutional Convention today voted for same-sex marriage, the National Bigot Helpline is reporting a huge spike in calls.

Fanatics nationwide are reporting palpitations,  flutters, grinding teeth and That Feeling You Get When You Imagine What Queers Do.

Ventriloquist dummy Ronan Mullen_2Speaking from his ventriloquist’s lap, Senator Ronan Mullen condemned the decision, blaming the participants in the convention, the government, the people of Ireland, homosexuals, non-Catholics, people who aren’t from Galway, young people, old people, everyone who disagrees with him and liberal priests.

It’s a conspiracy, he said, in a brief statement.  A coalition of unCatholic, unIrish conspirators. It’s a fix, just like the Voice of Ireland, so it is.

It certainly is, agreed David Quinn, director of  the Iona Institute, which has promised to mobilise all six of its members to hand out holy-water rehydration kits live on air.  Its director has temporarily suspended his symphisiotomy appreciation seminars to provide spiritual guidance to confused Irish people.

People are confused, he explained.  But the six of us will put them straight, with the help of RTE.  After all, between the six of us, we have a combined IQ of, oh, about a million, unlike you and all the other Irish gobshites.  You didn’t record that bit, did you?

We put it to a keen observer of  the Iona Institute  that, by taking his eye off the ball, Quinn was increasing teenage pregnancies, and he agreed.   It’s true, he said.  While Dave isn’t watching them, they’ll be riding and smoking communion hosts.  It’s a tough choice for Dave, he said, but life is all about choices.  They have to stem the homo horde before they sort out the whores.

So what will this decision lead to? we wanted to know.

Senator Mullen was in no doubt.  It will lead to  non-Catholic babies being born from no biological parents at all.  If the queers get their way, nobody will be shagging.  Eh, I mean, everyone will be shagging.  Eh, I mean, what was the question again? 

 

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Iona Nonsense

  48 Responses to “Constitutional Convention Votes for Same-Sex Marriage”

Comments (48)
  1.  

    Bock, please enlighten me, I have been overseas quite alot; who is Ronan Mullen and are his views strongly supported?. Is he a married man himself with children? Does he play golf and is he respectable?. I assume he goes to mass.

  2.  

    Best thing to do there would be to read around the subject. That way, you wouldn’t be getting any biased commentary from me.

  3.  

    Thanks Bock, this Mullen fellow sounds like a decent upstanding sort of chappie. I will certainly do a little bit of research to familiarise myself. It’s nice to know that our country has heroes like Ronan looking after our interests. I will sleep better in my bed tonight.

  4.  

    It makes no difference what the convention recommends.
    When it will come to a referendum, it it will go down in smoke.
    Labour predicted that up to 50% of parents would opt for non catholic education, when the Gov surveyed 28 schools the demand for non denominational schools came out at between 0.26 and 8%.
    people will talk the talk but they wont walk the walk when the chips are down.

  5.  

    That error page is back Bock

  6.  

    Mark,

    You seem very confused. What have denominational schools to do with human rights?

  7.  

    so Mark are you for or against it?

  8.  

    Sorry, I did make my point well, What I was attempting to say was that the general opinion will come across that the right for same sex couples to marry is a good thing.
    getting people to come out to vote in a referendum is a completely different matter.
    The childrens righs referendum should have got a turnout of 80% one would think Did it? and the referendum was carried by a very slight majority. So what people say they will do and what people actually do cane be very different.
    As to my view on same sex marraige. I really could not care less either way.
    Like thousands of others I am much more exercised about paying my bills keeping my job and protecting my family, Yes its all about me and mine but we gave up on being a caring society a long time ago.
    So be it gay rights or abortion there is only a very small cohort really exercised about it on both sides. The media uses these cohorts to fill air time, but it seems to me that the vast majority of the general public really dont give a damn.

  9.  

    By the way the turnout for the childres referendum was 33.5% 57.4 in favour 42.6% against

  10.  

    I have no difficulty in giving gay people all the rights that people have in marriage. However I have problems in calling their union marriage. My understanding of marriage is the commitment a man (husband) and woman (wife) enter into when they go through the ceremony whether civil or religious. How can a similar committment that two men or two women enter into be called marriage? Can a woman be a husband? Can a man be a wife? Words must mean something. Am I nit picking?

  11.  

    When two Bulls can produce a calf, and when two Dogs can produce a pup, then, and only then, can Gays claim “equality” with heterosexuals. Until then, it’s nothing more than legalised buggery and perversion. “Love” does not require Marriage, to express “love”.

  12.  

    Haymoon — If it’s just a matter of terminology rather than substance, it doesn’t seem like a huge problem.

    Jim — Precisely which sexual acts do you find offensive?

  13.  

    I think Jim is offended by sexual activity between members of sentient species.
    Astonished to learn of the illegal nature of my buggery and peversion though.
    Golly and gosh!

  14.  

    Same sex marriage–yes, why the hell not?. Of course it’s not marriage in the true ensue–matrimony–” the action of the making of a mother”–in most cultures it involves a man and woman exchanging vows and is intimately associated with the messy but necessary business of procreation, the business of moulding children into adults to replace their parents.

    Same sex couples feel that they should have equal access to this institution. Of course they do; same sex couples are inherently self centred narcissists who feel excluded by anything that they feel is denied them. They are one trick ponies–the ONLY societal issue that seems to consume them is access to their “rights” .
    My children still believe in Santa Claus, Bless them! Some people believe in an all powerful divinity or in a place called hell. Everyone is entitled to their little delusions. So I say let them have their same sex marriages with all the pomp and recognition that they crave. Who are we to piss on their parade?. But the sad thing is that it’s all completely fake, just like the word Gay is fake and meaningless. A fake Rolex might look nice and shiny; but it’s still fake. If a marriage certificate is necessary to prove that two people are committed to each other in love, regardless of their sex–then so be it.

  15.  

    Gombeenman — Are you saying that all marriages must be open to procreation?

  16.  

    Certainly not, procreation isn’t an option for those who marry beyond their childbearing, some couples decide not to have children and of course most couples will not know in advance of marriage of their infertility; however ALL male/female couple regardless of age have the potential to be a mother or father to a child, dependant or ward. I strongly believe that children whether birth or foster or adopted benefit most when they are exposed to the complimentary talents and personalities that men and women bring to parenting. Single parent families can also work but if you ask me what’s optimal?–it’s probably a (non dysfunctional) male/female based family unit.

  17.  

    What arrangements wpould you permit for LGBT people who have children?

  18.  

    I suppose the acid test really is the following.
    if you had a choice of nominating a hetrosexual or a gay couple to be the adoptive parents of your children in the event of your death, given that both couples have similar means gifts personalities etc, which would any of us choose.

  19.  

    That’s not a logical test, since you offer a false choice.

  20.  

    How so Bock.

  21.  

    Mark you do not get to choose who looks after your kids, they choose whether or not they want to look after them

  22.  

    Ok to be very pedantic, IF both couples were willing to take on the role, which would you choose.

  23.  

    It’s a false choice, since the proposed referendum is not about raising children. Same sex couples can, today, under current law, adopt children.

  24.  

    I thought it was a very simple choice if you have the choice of placing your child in the home of a hetro or gay couple, (all things being equal which would you choose)

    Simples
    One or the other

  25.  

    Mark what are the chances of the 2 closest couples in your life having exactly equal attributes and both willing to take on your kids after your death?

    What if one couple are big into sports and the other are big into academics and you place equal value on both, as your child is part of the Munster Acadamy and in the A class in school?

    What if the less sporty couple still had a high intellect and the more academic couple still had a solid sports background

    What would you choose?

  26.  

    Mark, it’s neither a simple choice nor relevant, since the proposed constitutional change is not about children, but about the relationship between two adults. The choice you offer is, in fact, a red herring, and I don’t propose to follow your false trail.

  27.  

    Same sex marriage and adoption is legal in my state and has been for many, many years now. The big difference is ….zero to me, and a legal protection and dignity for them.
    There is no losing side here.
    Also, fabulous weddings :)
    There are far more things to worry about.

  28.  

    Could someone point out why Gay people want to marry? All I hear from their argument is about protecting children in same sex families, grand lets do that. I say it will diminish the meaning of marriage, they say ” ah sure it’s not that big a deal” the other side of the mouth says ” It is so important to us”! Well why can’t they understand that it is also important to others? There are deeper conscequences to this but nobody wants to talk about them!
    What are the criterea for a couple to be married? Love? If a father and daughter/ son want to marry is that cool? If a man wants to marry more that one woman is that cool?
    We live in a society of entitelment where if there is a flood we ream the authorities out of it because we can’t go to the shops! If my neighbor works his nuts off and has a holiday then even if I am scratching my hole I should be entitled to a holiday too! FFS can we not protect peoples civil / human rights to be married like it says and help the minority that can’t by protecting them with a different kind of facility?
    One other thing that bugs me is the presumption that all gay couples are stable loving and monogamous which is no truer for them that for straight couples.
    The stigma has now turned full circle and people are afraid to say they are not ok with same sex marriage.
    Lets see how it goes but if it comes to a vote I’d say no.

    Sorry for the rant i’m sure I’ll get slated.
    Keep on keeping on Bock!

  29.  

    could some people explain why they spend so much time thinking about homosexual intercourse yet claim to be straight? Seriously, if you can’t stop thinking about blokes putting their cocks up other guys’ arses and yet you claim to find the act a reason to discriminate against them, I think that says more about you then anything about queers.

    Is there something called ‘queer-fear’? or have i just made that up? Because a lot of people seem to be terrified of them having the same rights as everybody else.

    If queers are prevented from getting married, is that going to get my parents back together? Or is it going to affect the relationship of any other straight couple? NO it isn’t you fucking morons. get your head out of your bigoted, repressed-homosexual holes and keep your fucking noses out of how other people want to live their lives.

    my blood boils listening to waffling bigots who carry on like it’s normal to discriminate. As for letting a gay couple raise kids, so what? Afraid of ‘teh gay’? I pity any child raised by bigots

  30.  

    Rob, your argument holds no weight as your comparisons are out of sinc

    Incest is ilegal and can not be compared to same sex marraige

    Bigamy is also illegal here in Ireland

    Homosexuality is not illegal so why shouldnt they be allowed marry

    If you cant afford a holiday thats your tough shit, if you want to get married that is completely different

    What would you do in a case of a non loving straight couple who want to get married?

    You will not however be crucified for making pointless comments as that is also illegal

  31.  

    The Referendum on gay marriage is a perfect opportunity to vote against the immovable monolith the Church. To be anti-catholic is Not to be anti-Irish.

  32.  

    Ronan ‘every sperm is sacred’ Mullen. Jesus, I am so sick of that guy. It is not unusual for people like Ronan to have a deep seated fear and mistrust of their own selves. Perhaps he gets a little excited when he is in close proximity to other men? I don’t know but I wish he’d keep his Nazi opinions to himself.

  33.  

    Hi Bock and all the lads, I hope ye are all well. I’m reading the above post/ blog ? and replies and am a bit confused. Bock, as usual is airing his very well known anti catholic views. Everyone knows his views and he is entitled to have them and to air them, its a good thing for him that he lives in a catholic country, if he was in Mecca or some such place he wouldn’t find it so easy. Anyway I’m slightly confused, why do gay people want “marriage” per se, what is wrong with “civil partnership” I always understood marriage to be a union between a man and a woman who after marriage became husband and wife. Can a man be a wife? Are we now redefining words in the English language? if gay people want to have civil partnerships, let them, but why oh why demean the institution by changing the meaning of the word. Maybe a new word could be coined, perhaps “Garriage” could be an acceptable term which could be used by all.

  34.  

    I suppose to a very large extent you are right Fonsie.
    The point I am making is that no one cares that much one way or the other. and if its one thing gay divas hate its being ignored.

  35.  

    yes its incredible that some people would want the same rights as others

    http://www.marriagequality.ie/getinformed/marriage/faqs.html

  36.  

    I have to argee, either a civil partnership be extended to include all the rights that a marriage contains, or we come up with an alternative name for a gay union. While we are on the subject of names. I dont particularly like the word “straight” to define a hetrosexual. I would much prefer to be called “wonderful” I think that has a nice ring to it.
    Hello are you gay?
    No Im wonderful.

  37.  

    I love it.

    We are a wonderful couple and proud of it hahaha brill

  38.  

    Mark, do you know any same-sex couples?

  39.  

    Hello all.

    I’ve enjoyed this site over the years so thought I’d have a glance to see the reaction to this decision. Some ‘interesting’ comments, but also some coded waffle basically whinging that The Holy See no longer is privileged to call the shots, like when I’d kneel in my uncle’s fields to say the Angelus. I’m sad my Dad isn’t alive to witness this. I promised him it would happen as he denounced me as Anti-Christ, all that nonsense. If Enda only achieves this alongside giving the Holy See 2 fingers over abuse, he’s at least shown he has a pair, and a backbone. Same applies to Cameron over here.

    As a bisexual married man (and open about that from the get-go 22 years ago) I’m happy to confirm to a few of you that some heterosexuals also enjoy anal sex, that all men have a prostate which is the site of great pleasure, and that a lot of straight men have discovered the joys of a strap on. It won’t surprise me when some metrosexual sports star brands and sells them. Some of you need to get out more. Or at least come to terms that most folk have moved on from only enjoying the missionary position. Or doing jigs with the hands strapped to the sides.

    No appropriate parenting involves discussion or exhibition of adult sexuality to young children. That’s abuse, whether it’s a parent, step-parent, relative, foster or adoptive. Or a paedophile priest rampaging through a 50s orphanage. The sexuality of a parent is irrelevant, just as it is for a genuine Catholic priest. Ask Fr Shay Cullen of PREDA whether the street kids he’s dedicated his life to rescuing care one jot what adults do behind closed doors, so long as someone loves them and protects them from abuse.

    My kids are 18 and 15 and currently straight, go to Catholic schools, and just laugh at the idea that ‘gay marriage’ isn’t compatible with being full-on about Jesus. When they were 8 and 5 a decade ago- would I have put them into the care of a loving couple in the event of my death, regardless of their carer’s overt or cover sexuality? Or would I have placed them into the tender mercies of state social services or faith-based charitable provision? The former, obviously, because I love them more than any ridiculous ideology.

    I grew up amongst a lot of troubled Irish men who really should never have got married and others who should never have joined the priesthood. Hidden sexuality is always problematic and seeps out in all sorts of morbid ways. I’m delighted that young LGBT folk in Ireland now have other options beyond pretending to be religious or living shady on the ‘down low’.

    Congratulations to Ireland on this historic move away from theocratic intrusion from a foreign city-state, a nefarious power that has almost ruined The First Irish Republic, hence necessitating my becoming the cultural Taoiseach of the Second Irish Republic which will be inaugurated in 2016, on the centenary, as Ireland begins it’s recovery from the economic collapse which craven forelock tugging to foreign banksters made inevitable.

    Rónán, metaphorically , intellectually, “imma get medieval on yo ass. Can’t wait to make eye contact in the green room of whatever forum you choose to meet your worst nightmare. Vincent Browne, Turbridy. David McWilliams, your choice dude. I’ve chose you. I like the sultry picture on your web-site. *wink*

    Yours, ‘mad paddy from Brum’, from the Hill of Tara above The Bull Ring of the Eternal City of The Fifth Province, etc.
    ps: long comment. won’t trouble you again. take it down if it’s too long, it’s on my FB page anyway. all the best. Andy.

  40.  

    Are you the same AndrewGMooney who commented on Irish Central about same-sex marriage?

  41.  

    Hi Bock.

    Yes I have 2 gay first cousins (that I know of) who are very happily coupled up .
    Not sure what that and a 25cent box of matches has got to do with the price of turnips??

  42.  

    Hi Mark.

    Yes I have 2 first cousins (that I know of ) who are happily coupled up, the head teacherof the local national (catholic) school is happily and wonderfully gay. The parents teachers pupils and school manager (parish priest) dont give a flying fuck who this teacher sleeps with, the school is brillant end of.
    Which goes back to my badly made original point that most people dont care one way or the other

  43.  

    Mark should your cousin and partner recieve the same rights as a straight couple?

  44.  

    Mark — The reason I ask is because I was wondering if you had discussed the subject with anyone affected by the legal situation.

  45.  

    One would think that marriage was a sacred state for straight folks. Historical straight folks have abused marriage to such a degree the institution rarely survives the union of straights because of infidelity, domestic abuse, alcohol abuse, latent bi sexuality etc. a 50% ratio of success is the norm I believe. Given the history of the abuse of this institution its a wonder so many want to ensure its continuance or monopoly for straight folks only. Its not the institute of marriage that benefits society but the intentions of well meaning loving honest people who are loving and devoted to each other. Despite the rantings of people over how gay people have sex many straight folks clearly enjoy the same style and variety. To say otherwise is to be insincere. Marriage is coupling, its an institution. it is entered into by two people who are devoted to each other. The survival of the institution of marriage does not rely on weather the parties to it are straight or gay, History proves this as the failure rate of straight folks in marriage is well documented and the children scattered between both parents to be raised. Straight folks should be the last to say the institute of marriage will under threat as they have seen to that themselves. For the record I am white hetrosexual married for 39 years. The success of my marriage relies on the day to day respect of each other, devotion and love. Everybody should try it regardless of your sexual tendencies.

  46.  

    i think some people have a limited understanding of the spiritual union of marriage, and continue to support the christian notion that marriage is heterosexual only, when in fact many other societies have supported same sex marriages throughout the ages. in my personal opinion, god, the universe, the divine (or whatever) cannot be limited to purely the mechanics of creation. which if you think about it, is putting limits on the top divine itself.

  47.  

    Hi Bock and all the lads, I am surprised that noone has picked up on the notion of “Garriage”. Surely it is the ideal solution. Gay people get all their rights and straight married people do not feel that the institution of marriage has been demeaned. Unlike “just different” I don’t know of many other societies who have supported same sex marriages throughout the ages. Like it or not we live in a country which was Christian for nearly the last 1500 years and therefore it is not surprising that most people understand marriage in a distinct context. If we really want to get a referendum through then the option of “Garriage” should be offered.

  48.  

    Anyone looking for a Christian marriage can go to a priest. This is about civil marriage.

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