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Paying for Communion Dresses — the Difference Between Needing and Wanting

The government has decided to stop paying for wedding dresses on seven-year-olds and so they should, but the uproar from people who feel entitled to a spray-tan subsidy has been deafening.

Firstly, of course, the State should never be paying for a religious ceremony, but let’s leave that aside, because religious belief seems to be the least part of this annual circus.  Instead, it’s become a competition, a big vulgar competition, between overindulged, under-disciplined children and their ineffectual parents.

It wasn’t always so vulgar, you know.  When did this ridiculous competition start?


What’s wrong with people?  A big fat communion dress is not a human right, and while we’re on the subject,  let’s have less of this talk about peer pressure.  If some children are going to ridicule others because they aren’t dressed in an expensive outfit, that is not the the problem of the taxpayers.  It’s the fault of the stupid parents who put these ideas in their kids’ heads, and the even stupider parents who don’t teach their kids to resist that sort of bullying.  It’s about fundamentally flawed thinking.

Here’s a simple answer.  Stop dressing up in ridiculous outfits.  Wear a simple, plain, dignified outfit and respect the thing you’re supposed to be celebrating, but one way or another, don’t ask me to pay for your little monster’s foibles.

Communion dresses are worn once only, and we hope the seven-year-olds won’t get too drunk in them.  When they come off, they’re spotless and perfectly fit for re-use.  They can be re-used, but I heard a mother today on the radio explaining that her kids would refuse to wear anything from a second-hand shop.  I found myself wondering, who’s the adult in that relationship?  What is going on when small children hold a veto over how hard-pressed parents spend their money?

Worse — if the kids feel that dominant  at the age of seven, what will they be like when they reach their teens?

What’s happening to society when some children grow up without ever in their entire lives hearing the word NO?

Here’s what it comes down to.  Parents and children need to resume their traditional roles, with the adult in charge.  If you can’t afford a wedding dress for your seven-year-old, tough shit.  Get used to it.  Don’t expect me to pay for your brat’s vanity.

You don’t need this stuff.  You want it.

People can’t seem to tell the difference these days.



Previously: State pays for Communion Dresses


25 replies on “Paying for Communion Dresses — the Difference Between Needing and Wanting”

Totally disagree with your viewpoint here Bock, Unless you’ve done a survey it’s not wise to paint every child/family with the same “spray tan” so to speak.
Not all families who have extravagant dresses for their children avail of these grants.
As for not having tax payers footing the bill for religious ceremonies, The Government had people all over the world for Saint Patricks Day ceremonies, and Enda had no problem with that, limos, hotels food & drink, and I’d take a chance on saying that Enda and Co. bought a few new clothes for the occasion.

Bock I could not agree more with you, and weirdly still think the St V de P were wrong to roll over so easily on this one. This charity is supposed to be the voice of the poor in ireland today.

Couldn’t agree more Bock, especially with parental inability to say no. Fairly regularly have parents on to me (I’m a teacher) asking *me* how to deal with their children, telling *me* how hard it is to say no and on more than one occasion telling me “my [12 year old] daughter is my best friend and I don’t want to lose that relationship.”

Children need friends on the street and need parents at home. sometimes if your lucky you can end up being friends when thet are 25 + and have left home

Patletaxi, we shouldnt be paying for any kind of dress, extravagant or not

I dont get an athiest allowance when I have a house patrty on good Friday do I

Oddly enough, our parents at the time (the sixties), were well able to say “No” to us, and we accepted that unconditionally, but were unable to say “No” to the church. The communion ritual must have imposed financial hardship on people that were hard-pressed to make ends meet, and there weren’t any hand-out’s back then either. But, I suppose the church had an iron grip on the population back then, which makes me wonder, what compels people today?
Fucked if I know!

The roman catholic church in Ireland should insist that all first time communion participants should wear the school uniform when partaking in this ceremony.
Parents who want their children to participate in the ceremony should be committed Catholics/Christians. If they are, then they would see this dressing up nonsense as obscene and completely at odds with the teachings of the founder of their religion Jesus Christ.
This of course is the problem. The church leaders are too busy hiding things under the carpet and have little or no time to be out spreading the gospel of their founder with any kind of real conviction. And the majority of Catholics in this country are nothing but hypocrites and more then likely have no real vision of what Christianity is about.

For the record I am not a Christian.

BTW, I think you hit the nail on the head.

Plain and simple really, isn’t it? Just like some of the population!

I wonder how many childern would be making their first communion if the school were not orgainising the event.
If parents had to attend mass for a year before the day, and bring the children for instruction outside of school then my guess is at best there would be about a 20% take up.
As for the money there have always people who expect to get things from the state.
I am sure they expect funds for lots more things as well.
I also like the urban myth told about the teacher, who on monday after the first communion is talking to a child.
I dont remember seeing you on sathurday Mary. No miss we were late out of the hairdressers so my mam took me straight to the hotel.
which just about sums up what is really thought of the religious side of the day.

they got the cash to buy the Africans cars and lots of other good things, but not for Irish Catholics, this is a bleedin disgrace.

The vanity aspect I fear is predominantly that of the parents who want to show off how well off they are. It has nowt to do with religion. I feel that children should go to communion in their school uniforms, tea and sandwiches afterwards and that there should be an expectation that the families of the children who have benefited from religious instruction give a contribution to charity. IF this annual vulgar chirade has anything to do with Chistianity and Christian principles it’s excesses should be toned down–the Church should be leading on this–as usual they are not. Bock, I couldn’t agree more with your post–taxpayers should NEVER pay for the pseudo-religious (spray tan brigade) bling.

‘Tis a load of old bollocks really having seven and eight year olds dress in that ridiculous garb. The whole thing reminds me of some Moonie cult wedding ceremony. Brides of Christ, these innocents being initiated into The Holy Catholic establishment that has a proven track record in child abuse.

auld leftie bullshite, prove that they dont get money off this State, your like the old big mouth that goes off in the pub and expects everyone to agree with you.So what makes you think you have the truth?

I don’t have to prove anything, Bud. You do, since you made the claim that the State pays for people’s cars. And you won’t be able to because it’s bullshit.

The fact that there was a communion allowance shocked me when you posted of this first. I had never heard of it.

I responded the same way before. If you have a child who is going through the school’s instruction you know that a Communion will come up in the child’s 7th or 8th year. Save for it. It’s not a new invention, it’s not a big surprise, it’s a regular annual occurrence for kids of 7 or 8. Why would you need a subsidy for a planned event? I can see an emergency, an unforeseen hardship that is unavoidable etc. We all hit hard times. This is not one of them.

I live in a relatively wealthy town in CT. I am not relatively wealthy myself but many of my block and social group are. Everything is borrowed, loaned or recycled here because of COMMON SENSE. Every communion dress gets worn at by at least 3 girls, blazers for the boys are borrowed, ties are given, shoes are offered (who wears white patents shoes or even shiny boy’s dress shoes very often). Suit/Dress trousers are recycled for school concerts. It’s not just communions. There are swaps at athletic events of equipment that kids have outgrown. Bags of books get hauled from one car into another on a regular basis. Whenever my child outgrows something and he hasn’t battered the living bejaysus out of it I eye it to assess who we know that has a child that it would fit. I just sent a bag of 10/u reading material across the yard yesterday to a house of 3 boys. If nothing else it keeps junk out of landfills. People can afford new versions of all these things but to them it would be daft to buy new when there are as good as new options available.

I was a child who was dressed in the too bright shades of clothing from parcels from America. I was also the child whose sibling wore the Mass outfit to early mass and then I wore it to the later one. People need to get over themselves. The adults sound like children here.

Very well said EashtGalwayWoman – you took the words right out of my mouth! I can’t believe people were given grants for communion dresses. What next?

God yeah, cant believe it either, next thing they will be trying to tell us that TDS get expenses for showing up to work. That some civil servants will have pensions larger than their working income.
or that 2 guys can get married and one will be a wife

Mark, are you on an agenda again

comparing tds and civil servants to gay marriage


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