Michelle Obama Visits Bono

 Posted by on June 18, 2013  Add comments
Jun 182013
 

Look, Michelle, said Barack, I’ll do that thing with those leader guys in Northern Ireland.  Why don’t you head on down to Regular Ireland  and see if you can’t meet up with the greatest living human being?  The world needs him now like never before.

Bono CakeSure will, Barack.  What do you want me to tell him?

Tell him I’m asking him, no – I’m begging him  - not to lose heart.  Tell him billions look to him for, uh, guidance and lots of people do too.  Tell him, the President added as he dabbed at a little tear, tell him the Leader of the Free World is depending on him.

But Barack, isn’t Bono the Leader of the Free World?

True, agreed POTUS.   Just tell him Barack needs him.  And, uh, tell him thanks for the basketball lessons.

You want me to ask him anything, Honey?

Yeah.  Ask Bono how we’re gonna solve this war in Syria.  See if he’ll go over there and bring peace to all.  Maybe get some of those fellas up on stage with him.  And, uh, ask him how to reverse climate change.  Uh, let’s see.  Ask him to guarantee food for everyone on Earth for all time.

That it?

No.  I have one or two more things.  Ask Bono to put an end to disease.  See if he’ll call up the  Taliban and get them to behave themselves after we pull out.  Find out how he’s getting on with saving the rainforests.  Ask him to write a poem for every child in the world and try to get a picture of him while he thinks about it.

Ok Hon.  Gotcha!  And hey, why not ask him about that thing you G8 guys are discussing this week.

War?  Natural resources?

 Tax avoidance.

No point, Honey.  Bono wouldn’t know anything about that.

 

 

 

  12 Responses to “Michelle Obama Visits Bono”

Comments (12)
  1.  

    Politicians are very diplomatic people indeed. If a billionaire turfed up at my office telling me that I had an obligation to send more aid to the developing world (i.e.–raise it by taxation)–I’d tell him to fuck off. Everyone needs to be re-centred and told to fuck off from time to time. Even self important ageing rock musicians.

  2.  

    Great old Victorian con, many of the wealthy, to deflect criticism of their wealth engaged in the noble cause of “Charity”..it looks like they were doing something useful but the fact remained that it solved no real problems and supported the status quo. Bono is a 21st Century example of this.

  3.  

    Jesus, give the man a break. If Bono was the only problem then the Emerald island would be the paradise and the only land worth to live in.

  4.  

    Are you saying we should never talk about Bono?

  5.  

    I prefer Bob Geldof to Bono. Reason:- Geldof openly criticised Ethiopian military rulers, Margaret Thatcher and psuedo-concerned US politicians like Senator Kennedy, during his mid-1980s tours and in his autobiography Is That It? He didn’t cosy up to anybody and was a general loudmouth whom the ‘straight’ British media came to dislike. Geldof lives it up and didn’t ever pose as a nice guy. Bono by contrast has coseyed up too diplomatically to the mainstream political decision makers – and his tax avoidance strategy detracts from any saintly image his admirers may have cultivated.

    I don’t think charity is going to rectify structural causes of world poverty. Rock stars do what they do best – make us rock. And make lots of money.

  6.  

    Mmmmmm.
    It is a bit cosy to be honest, Lunch at one of Bono’s favourite watering holes, what part of Tallaght is that pub in exactly? I must drop in soon.
    Mind you the man seems to have quitened down quite a bit since his imaginative tax avoidance measures came to light.
    Still ya got to love the music.

  7.  

    “Still ya got to love the music”
    What’s your favourite U2 song Mark?

  8.  

    No line on the horizon, yours opps sorry Bock going off topic.
    maybe its a case of shoemaker stick to your last !!

  9.  

    Bono’s a grade A knobhead

  10.  

    I’m a Beethoven fan myself. Moonlight Sonata, the violin concerto, the Emperor concerto, the Fifth, the Seventh and the Ninth. Bono, Geldof, Madonna, Elvis and the Grateful Dead can go and rock their asses off. Nobody beats Beethoven. Beethoven beats the band everytime. And he had no tax avoidance strategies. And he had a discreet love affair with a quality lady called Die ferne Geliebte.

  11.  

    Long-distance love, eh?

  12.  

    He took long, complicated stagecoach trips to meet her sometimes. Probably taught her a tune or two as he held her in his arms.

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