Lawyer Defends Jesus Against Jews and Romans

It took two thousand years, but finally one man has the guts to demand answers.  In the most extreme CSI case the world has ever known, Kenyan lawyer Dola Indidis, a former spokesman for the Kenyan Judiciary, has written to the International Court of Justice (ICJ) in The Hague, claiming to be a friend of Jesus (in the legal sense) and demanding that the conviction of Jesus be quashed.


Indidis moved the case to The Hague after the Kenyan High Court decided it had no jurisdiction to deal with the matter.

The petition to the ICJ identifies Italy and Israel as respondents because when they came into existence those  countries incorporated the laws of the Roman Empire which were force at the time of the Crucifixion, according to Mr Indidis.  His argument is simple.

The selective and malicious prosecution of Jesus violated his human rights through judicial misconduct, abuse of office bias and prejudice.  Mr Indidis is convinced that Pontius Pilate erred in law by convicting and sentencing Jesus Christ while acknowledging his own lack of jurisdiction and the accused’s innocence.

In the absence of witnesses, Mr Indidis is relying on accounts written between 60 and  100 years after the alleged miscarriage of justice.

Obstacles faced include an agreed definition of what constituted human rights 2,000 years ago, an agreed definition of judicial procedure, an agreed definition of precisely which man the petition refers to, absence of witnesses, absence of forensic evidence and absence of consensus that the alleged events occurred at all.

In addition, since the role of the International Court of Justice is to settle disputes between states, it seems unlikely that Mr Indidis’s petition has any chance of succeeding.

Still, though.  Full marks to him for being the best  troll ever.


8 replies on “Lawyer Defends Jesus Against Jews and Romans”

Don’t they still have that Turin Shroud thingy that he could use as forensic evidence? Go Dola! I’ll be a witness, I saw those statues move in Ballinspittle.

If memory serves, I believe the Turin shroud was radio-dated some twenty odd years ago and was found not to be old enough to fit the claimed chronology.

The lawyer, if memory serves me correct, could call Jesus as a character witness for himself, I am sure He would be grateful for the distraction of constantly sitting on the right hand side of his father, or himself, as the case may be.

Where do you get them Bock?

Yes Your Honour, the ones with their hands over their faces. Forgive them, for they know not what they do.

only one question for mr Indidis, who is his client? does he forget that that he needs a complainant, a plaintiff in a human form etc unless he is going to call.. well there’s only one stand out option, it can only be paul o Connell as ‘god’s representative and I think god would be pretty flattered by that even, no one would argue with that. Cross examine paulie, go on I dare you

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