Bishops Need to Smell of Sheep, Says Pope

Sometimes you don’t even have to make it up.  According to the latest papal Nuncio to Ireland, the witty and urbane American Archbishop Charles Brown, a man straight out of Father Ted, the new Pope wants true shepherds who know their sheep when he appoints bishops in Ireland.

Charles Brown papal Nuncio


More disturbingly, according to Charlie Brown, he doesn’t want people who are detached from their people, or who want to lord it over their people. He wants shepherds who are with their sheep.

According to Charlie, the Pope wants bishops who have the smell of their sheep on them.

Now, let’s be clear here.  We don’t want any sniggering.  There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having a smell of sheep on you, and it certainly beats the hell out of other smells.  At least the Pope didn’t say he wanted bishops who smelled of altar boys, God forbid!  Or women.  Jesus Christ, the very thought of it.

There was a time when lonely rural men in Ireland, Wales and New Zealand found themselves with nobody to turn to but a sheep, so let’s not sneer.  A little bit of closeness can be a good thing.  It’s better than complete isolation and who’s to say that it can’t lead to a fulfilling relationship?  Don’t mock.

Obviously, Pope Francis is turning to the roots of Christianity and turning back to the early gospels when everyone had a sheep or two.

How do educated Christians feel about being treated as sheep?  Does this mark a huge change from the attitude of the bishops who treated their people as sheep in the way they dealt with the child abuse scandal?

Well, that wouldn’t be for me to say.


42 thoughts on “Bishops Need to Smell of Sheep, Says Pope

  1. This cult is still clutching at straws when they are trying to recruit numbers to their flock…
    Its only a PA stunt by their sales team, to up numbers in the Catholic Church..
    Their call centre in the vatican must be un-indated with calls…
    With “Where can I get one of these sheep, will a blow up one do… as I travel light & due to international laws.. I can’t bring a real one with me when I’m travelling… especially with all those ear tags & paper work that I’ll have to get…
    Yeah it sure is like a scene from Fr. Ted…

  2. Yip, clutching at straws is a good way to put it.
    The last fella was all for bringing back the magic and awe in the form of exorcisms, visitations and other magical medieval shenanigans -something to stir the faith.
    This fella wants to go back to the feel-good happy folksy church, complete with young people palying guitars. Very nice.
    And the poor of course, dont forget the poor, which they have been forgetting of course. All this time spent dodging child abuse scandals and condemning gays has meant they they may have lost sight of their major constituency -the poor of the world. So (call me cynical, you’d be right) but that’s why they have this St. Francis chap brought in -The RCC need to consolidate their power base: the poor, the ignorant, the down in spirit and the weak. They wont actually offer them anything temporal like social change, but they will pray for them.
    The sheep thing reminds me of something someone once said about the difference between sheep and goats, metaphorically and symbolically. Sheep are strictly a flock animal, docile and slow-witted, easily led, fully domesticated. Goats are curious, individualistic and independant, and quite a bit wild.
    Imagine what the church would be like if Jesus had been a goat-herd instead of a shephard.
    Symbolically speaking.

    One other difference between a flock of sheep and a flock of goats: You cant shag a goat.

  3. ‘You cant shag a goat.’ I think Young Kenny on Phoenix Nights said something about that. When our elder son was about 10, he told a rather posh visitor a joke that he’d heard (can’t think where) that went: What’s the difference between a sheep and a Lada? Answer: you feel a bit embarrassed getting out of the back of a Lada. Visitor not impressed.

  4. Well if the church is failing I would love to see what success is like
    4.8 million people from all over the world on Copa Cabana Beach.
    180 thousand in knock during this week for 15th august,
    No media coverage so lets pretend it not happening
    Bock just because you say it is sure dont make it so

    Bet the Vatican is quaking

  5. Mark, you’re projecting again. You need to stop doing that, for your own sake.

    Where did you see me say that the Catholic church is failing?

  6. Actually Bock I was responding to Mad Hatter Teacup,
    But felt it would be rude not to address the post to you, after all this is your gig.

  7. Maybe in going back to their roots they can recreate a bit of that nostalgic magic like the good old days of the Spanish Inquisition.
    After all, the godly misogynistic and paedophile protectorate still moves very carefully and very deliberately.
    It never does anything that doesn’t boost its wealth and holdings.
    And a fella in a frock smelling of sheep would surely smell some way honest, wouldn’t he?

  8. Bock, sont you know Catholicism never sleeps.
    Maybe he was at the copacabana.
    “The hottest spot north of Havana…
    music and passion were always the passiona at the copa…”

    180,000 at knock for august 15th-really? capacity 12,000. that’s a neat trick, like the aul loaves and fishes, or just more magical devotionalism and idolatry.
    Why would it be on the news anyway? Was there going to be a visitation by Herself?
    Too coudy maybe?

    The catholic church is thriving I know bitchin aint it.

  10. Thriving.
    Considering the kinds of numbers that the CC claimed in what could could be considered its heyday, (forget copacabana for now, lets just restrict discussion to Ireland, it’s closest gem to rome), you could hardly say that it’s doing well. Even the dogs in the street feel free to vomit their vitriol on the bibs of the bishops. Not that there is even space remaining unspoilt on the bishops vestments after the disgusting orgy of child abuse, denial, rape, perjury, refusal, denial, rape, perjury, and venal self aggrandisement that we have been witness to for so so long in this country; Ireland, that once supplicant victim that was their hunting ground.
    Times have changed MMMM, your boys no longer go unchallenged. all of your opus dei pricks will be dead soon and there will be fewer and fewer replacements to keep media and politics under the RC thumb.
    My children WILL have rights long denied, and the mature responsibility that goes with them, so long kept from us by your holy bastard catholic hypocrites.
    So keep counting your dying days in Knock, because I see a day when you won’t find a mere handful in that medieval relic. To hell with the lot of ye, and good riddance. Ireland says goodbye.
    keep gathering them in knock so we can know them better.
    That was probably a bit much. Fúck it. Fuck them.
    Sorry Bock -I dont like to abuse your welcome or your posting rules so i went back and replaced the names of the innocent and potentially offended with some Ms.
    M for random.
    M for apologist
    m for …

  11. Wow Daddy Owes
    That was some rant feeling better now ?
    Just smiling here at what you posted.
    Maybe you should read Bocks post titled
    Old Europe Old Civilisation Old Savagery.
    Cause there must have been a lot of stuff like you just posted written in the 1930s

  12. hear tell on ‘bog-radio that 25,000 sheep made the trip to Knock, albeit elderly staggery sheep.

    The buck-ram himself (primate-sheep) dropped in with his particular brand of hocus-pocus to sate them.

    Needless to say they all trotted back to their BnB’s in full agreement that it was a spiffin’ day out for all.
    Were there any guest prominent speakers to whip up fervour post-abortion Bill. Such as Ro-nawn?

  13. Your comment 4 Daddy-owes would appear to hold firm. None showed up, I’m told. Goats are just not easily-led.

  14. Bock, I happened to be at mass last night through no fault of my own. The priest announced that gay marriage was a sin, an a woman would be better off dying that having a life saving abortion. An Italian woman in 1962 died rather than have an abortion an she is now a saint, so the incentive is there in his mind.We were to oppose this as good Catholics. He must have forgot he was in Northern Ireland not the Republic.

  15. Witch doctor is right on the mark. He spent time on the Africa missions which made his opinion more valid. I won’t name him – it’s not my priest and its not my parish. I thought his opinions were comical in this day and age. Thought I would share.

  16. Since you clearly despise religion,why dont you remove the religion section from your page and stop constanly knocking it.

  17. God no James! Leave the religion section right where it is. Not that I think Bock would ever contemplate removing it. I myself am agnostic. Some would call my kind cowards. Some would call my kind,the practical kind. Some might even call us the scientific kind. But debate on this topic is both fascinating and important.
    You have believers, non believers, and don’t knower’s. The majority of which are accepting and tolerant of the other persons view.
    Its the fundamentalists on all sides, we need to watch. These people are the danger, not whether god exists or not. They exist on both sides of the argument, religious fanatics and atheist fanatics. Don’t want to put words in your mouth Bock, but I imagine that Bock would declare himself as a proud atheist, but not a religion hater. I could be wrong though.

  18. @long john silver,great point its the fanatics that need to be watched and as you said it does not matter from what side of the fence they are or even sitting on the fence,i am a scientist myself but believe that there is a god,i have many athiest friends who think they have all the answers but sadly they do not ,the greatest explanation i have ever heard came an agnostic albert einstein who said when we try to understand the universe,its like a small child that walks into a very grand organised library,the child understands that someone arranged the library in this way but does not understand how

  19. James, when religious fanatics stop inflicting their delusions on society at large, I’ll stop talking about religion, but not before then and certainly not on your instructions.

  20. i agree that religious fanatics need to be stopped as their views can be extreme(this also applies to athiest fanatics)but what about the religious people who are not fanatics,when people like this make a comment about their faith they are stone walled by you,is this part of your power trip bock,

  21. The thread has lost its humour. How about some jokes about sheep dips and lamb chops?

  22. i can understand peoples anger with organised religion,but to all you athiests out there,jesus christ loves more than you will ever know regardless of how you feel about him.

  23. James, I thought you said you were a scientist. You’re inviting me to agree that I’m on a power trip. What’s going on with these logical fallacies in your questions? That’s not very scientific of you, is it? I wonder what else you’re capable of getting arseways?

  24. JAmes, you’re not a scientist.

    No self-respecting scientist would sink to using pathetic ad hominems like that.

    I think you’ve been telling porkies and that’s a sin, isn’t it?

  25. the world according to bock states im not a scientist but various irish universities state otherwise,go home bock your drunk,clutching at straws,and just because you get the final comment in doesnt mean you have won a debate.

    you guys veered too far from this manly debate, of course you can shag goats, the’re just harder to catch but, once you do, the handles, sorry, horns come into their own.
    during a driving lesson was asked if I could make a u-turn ? ” no, but I can make her eyes glaze over ”
    Also, my pure woolen irish aran sweater has a somewhat addictive odour…
    And finally, the bible says that god gave us dominance over all the animals, especially the sheep.

  27. What happened to, The poor little Lambs who’d gone astray Not the
    Spanish inquisition, I hope. I once owned a lovely little lamb, it had such
    a lovely little baa, I entered it in the Euro song contest, the little ragamuffin
    won and never came back, anyone have any idea what happened to it.?

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.