It was nice to see that the first child beauty pageant in Ireland was an unmitigated disaster. The Dublin hotel where it was supposed to be held cancelled the booking, leaving the organisers with no choice but to hunt around desperately for some venue willing to host it, but the best they could manage was a pub in Monaghan — Corrigan’s Kitchen — and that’s where the twenty or so young competitors strutted their stuff, including one six-year-old girl who danced in a green bikini to the tune of Feeling Hot Hot Hot.
The American promoter, Annette Hill, tried to bullshit her way out of the criticism by using emotional blackmail, claiming that people should trust parents to do the best for their children.
Really? We should trust mothers who start their daughters young on the path to neurosis about their appearance, bulimia and anorexia in some cases, and early sexualisation? We should trust mothers who encourage their toddlers to behave in an overtly seductive manner in order to serve as a surrogate for their own inadequate lives? We should trust the mothers — and it is always mothers — who steal the gift of childhood from their little ones?
Personally, I wouldn’t trust them enough to send them out for a pizza, but what would you expect from a woman who runs a company called Universal Royalty?
With any luck, this will be the end of the appalling child pageant phenomenon in Ireland. I do feel sorry for the makers of fake tan, the builders of Cinderella carriages and the craftsmen who earn a living by pimping out Hummers, but there you go. There are always victims.
At least now, not so many of those victims will be six-year-old girls trying to please their mothers by dancing like a stripper in a Mafia drinking hole.
Previously: Learning to be an airhead.