Paul McGuinness Quits U2

paul mcguinness

So.  The Fifth Tosser has quit, leaving us only the Mini-Messiah, a middle-aged man with an unfeasible name for a grown-up and two guys who really don’t give a rat”s arse as long as the bucks keep flowing.

That’s U2 for you folks.

Now that Paul McGuinness, the Svengali of Self-Importance , has decided to abandon the band on the brink of band-oblivion, what can the world expect?

Will Bonehead’s ego run completely wild?  Will he form a band with the Pope, Angela Merkel, Barack Obama featuring Mother Teresa as the world’s first dead bass player? (Not that most bass players show signs of life anyway).

Maybe he’ll ask Gay Byrne to take over, chuckle, chortle, chuckle.

As Paul McGuinness relaxes in his mountain-top schloss, counting the helicopters that chopper in his money to be counted by disposable minions and henchmen, what exactly do you think he’s thinking?  Is he thinking, What a great life we’ve had, me and those insanely talented lads from Da Naartsoide, or is he thinking, Jesus, €100 million is enough. I’ve had it listening to that puffed-up pretentious twat?

You decide.  I don’t know what Paul McGuinness thinks but I can tell you this: he’s a better man than I.  There is no way I could spend 35 years in close contact with Paul Hewson, aka Bono, without strangling the puffed-up little gobshite.

And for that alone, Paul McGuinness deserves his hundred million euros.  It’s not enough.


34 thoughts on “Paul McGuinness Quits U2

  1. As the noise of Bono’s circus grew and any idea of music had been left so far behind in the last decade, it must have been annoying when he was ever referred to as a music manager. The fallout regarding Dublin city and the planning permission for various building projects linked to U2 may feature in this ‘end of’ story too.

  2. U2’s early work was fresh and raw. They have since enjoyed success far in excess of their innate talents and for that they should be eternally grateful to Mr McGuinness. Tis’ a pity billionaire Bono has dedicated his life to lecturing us that we must do more for the needy–U2 are becoming more irrelevant by the day and PMG knows this. Since when did bone fide Messiahs spend their time rubbing shoulders with the glitterati of the catwalks and social columns? U2: More Profit that Prophet methinks.

  3. Having attended the U2 concert at Glastonbury last year (for my sins) and heard the set they played, I can only conclude that that they,like so many others, have morphed into their own tribute band,

    Any spark of creativity that they might have had is but a distant memory.

    I’m surprised that a canny operator like McGuinness hung in there for so long. But then, large wads of cash have a strange appeal. it seems.

  4. Yes, disappointed with this bit Bock

    I don’t get why people somehow expect everything about U2 to be perfect. Was everything about The Beatles or The Rolling Stones or Rory Gallagher. At least they get up and do something, not like people such as David Bowie or Sting or Phil Collins who just live quietly somewhere and enjoy their money.

    I never particularly liked Paul M either – but he obviously knew what he was doing and did a great job.

    I am not a blind admirer of them or their music but they are certainly one of the greatest Irish success stories of the last 25 years and, living abroad, this is very evident. They are extremely popular all over the world, most notably in the US and UK. In addition they employ quite a number of people, mainly Irish.

    Its a pity we cannot appreciate our own success stories. Long may they live and I hope their next album and tour are just as successful as previous!

  5. Yes Bock, a disappointing piece of begrudgery from you this time…

    U2 are one of Ireland’s greatest success stories. Why do people expect them to be perfect.

    I am not a blind admirer of Bono or any of them. Lets just give credit where credit is due.

  6. We can mock Bock but Jaysus you were a bit too strong there like… They have been a very successful Irish band, and yes Bono has a huuuuge ego, but you don’t get that far without a bit of the auld bullshit.
    I have enjoyed their music for 30 years, we just need to take Bono with a pinch of salt and use him for the tourists, ’cause they seems to love it!!

  7. Capitalist greed has driven Africa to despair and grinding poverty. The west must write off all debts to African Nations and double their overseas aid budget and if you have any money left over after you pay your mortgage and educate your kids, you have a duty to send it to your African brothers and sisters. I have a dream that just like me, one day all of God’s children, yellow white or black, will have a luxurious pad at the San Remo and a villa in the south of France. My pink lenses are fogging up again. Don’t ever stop belivin!

  8. Not at all Bock – Bono is by no means a saint and he never claimed he was. So why do people expect him to be?

    Also I think calling someone “puffed-up little gobshite” is quite insulting and quite less than saintly…

    Its quite annoying that Irish people are unable to accept the success of their own – people like Bono, Paul McGuinness, Michael O’ Leary, Graham Norton …..

    It’s interesting that every other article I could find on the web (New York Times, LA Times, BBC, NME, Irish Indepenent, The about Paul McGuinness (whom I dont particularly like) were all positive about him. The only negative comment I saw was here.


    The Irish need to get behind the people who drive success.

    What about all the other Irish musicians who would not have made it only for U2?
    What about Live 8 and Live Aid ?
    150 Million Albums sold, 22nd in the Forbes list of Greatest Artists of all time, 22 Grammy awards..
    What about Bono persuading Facebook to consider Ireland for their European headquarters?
    What about U2 funding Music Generation which enables Irish children to get free music lessons?

    We never hear anything about these… (and I am not a blind fan of U2, Bono or Paul McGuinness).

    I’m just tired of Irish people who refuse to accept the success of fellow countrymen.

  9. Bock, you obviously write about Bono because he is Irish.

    Your first sentence above “The Fifth Tosser has quit, leaving us only the Mini-Messiah, a middle-aged man….”

    I think its fair to interpret “us” as meaning “we Irish”.

    Looking at one of your previous articles I read:

    “Isn’t it an amazing historical coincidence that in the thousands of years of Irish history, the five people chosen for the shortlist of Ireland’s Greatest all happened to live and work in the 20th century?

    Michael Collins, Bono, Mary Robinson, John Hume. James Connolly

    Hume won, and I can see how some people might regard him, Collins, Robinson and Connolly as Ireland’s greatest, provided you don’t think any of our scientists, artists or philosophers over the centuries count for a pile of mole-shit, but Bono?

    “’ll do a deal with Bono. If he doesn’t lecture me about world poverty, I won’t prance around in the dark, wearing sunglasses. And if he promises to pay some of his taxes here, I’ll do the same”

    So is Bono’s nationality not relevant in the comments above ?

    I suggest we rest our cases and agree to disagree.

  10. Please don’t put words in my mouth. You can reinterpret what I said any way you choose, but if he was an Eskimo Bono would still be a tosser.

  11. Rainman– Yes you are trying to put words in ,my mouth, and you’re not making a great job of it either.

    It’s not too long since we had an article here about logical fallacies, but looking back over it, I see that, for some reason, one of the all-time favorites has been overlooked, so I can’t accuse you of not paying attention. I refer of course to the Straw Man argument, in which we replace what a person said with a different meaning and attack them for saying something we made up.

    It’s also informally known as the “What You’re Really Saying” argument, beloved of pub drunks the world over.

    The words you’re trying to put in my mouth are the ones you made up. You can reinterpret what I’ve written as many times as you like, but you will always be factually wrong.

    I criticise Bono not because he’s Irish but because he’s a sanctimonious, hypocritical, corporate shill. You can call that begrudgery if you like, but that’s your responsibility, not mine.

  12. This is the only place of the entire Irish tinternets and media, that has touched on this resignation in a negative way. How pathetic that the entire Irish media and tinternet all sing from the same boring hym sheet when it comes to these miserly millionaire tossers

    So it is Bock against the entire Irish media? WTF?? No pressure there Bock…………

    For the Bonehead lovers, I recommend Harry Browns book Bono, in the Name of Power. A fantastic take down of the prick.

    Bock will you take us out of our misery re the wall to wall coverage of ST Jack Kennedy. The gibbering classes cannot contain themselves particularly RTE. Just don’t mention Bay of Pigs, or Vietnam to them, they might get upset that St Jack Kennedy was really as venal a politician as the rest of them.

  13. Jack Kennedy was what he was, a venal politician. However, the issues around Jack Kennedy are far more significant. Be assured, there will be a special on Jack’s anniversary.

  14. Guys, I’m just looking for logic here, not trying to mis-represent anyone

    – When Bock is asked “what did Bono every do on you” – all he says is “he annoyed me”

    Then Bock asked me “why is his nationality relevant ? ”
    – When I point out that Bock’s previous three articles focus on Bono’s tax arrangements in Ireland – which I think makes his nationality (or at least his residence) relevant, Bock says I’m putting words in his mouth.

    As I said above (shellshock) – I’m not a Bono lover…..

    It just gets boring that Irish people have a problem with other Irish people being successful and being rich. U2 started from nothing (as did many others like Michael O’Leary) and now they are millionaires. I wish I could have done that…

  15. Rainman — Your theory is easy to prove. If I have such an ingrained begrudgery towards successful Irish people, then in all likelihood this post is part of a pattern. Therefore, in the thousands of posts on this site, you’ll have no difficulty coming up with dozens of examples to prove your point that I’m against Irish people who happen to be rich as opposed to one Irish guy who happens to be a twat.

  16. @Bock
    Hm…not sure serious or delirious. Maybe colored from a past perceived transgression against you from Bono? Intriguing. What are you hiding?

  17. Bock – I guess we are just trying to figure out who you are ! :) and why we read your stuff. (I read it because I often find it very good and often very humorous but am still trying to figure out what’s behind it).

    So would be curious to know what you think about JP McManus, a big hero around Limerick, but who, unlike Bono, does not even chose to live in Ireland, for tax reasons.

    All good fun…

  18. Bock; what do you think of Paul O’Connell
    Brian O’Driscoll
    Roy Keane
    Christy Dighnam
    Graham Norton
    Larry Gogan
    Steve Collins
    Barry Mrguigan
    Niall Horan 1D

  19. One thing JP McManus never availed of was the artists’ tax exemption, though I don’t like the idea that he’s a tax exile. Bono and the lads benefited hugely in the early days from the largesse of the State and built their fortune on the seed capital provided by that exemption. Then they offered the Revenue two fingers. McManus doesn’t go around lecturing the world from his own imagined high moral ground, so as a person, he doesn’t particularly motivate me one way or the other. In short, I’m indifferent.

  20. Can you be anymore up your own arse?
    “It’s not too long since we had an article here about logical fallacies, but looking back over it, I see that, for some reason, one of the all-time favorites has been overlooked, so I can’t accuse you of not paying attention”

    And who the fuck is this we business? Since ‘I’ had an article, you mean to say. You wrote it you gombeen. Safety in numbers is it?
    Not paying attention.. Jesus. You’d swear your little corner of the interwebs is all there is. Get a grip.

    “In short, I’m indifferent”. I wish people wouldn’t ask your opinion and just tell you theirs.
    McManus is a tax exile too. I.e. Bono is not the only one.. albeit, he annoys you more. Whatever.
    As jumped up little gobshites go, you’d give Bono a run for his money.

  21. Oh God.

    The longstanding troll is back under a new name.

    I thought it had dealt with its addictions and anger problems but clearly not.

    What a way to live.

  22. I live very well, thanking you.
    My only addiction is BTR – for the comic relief.
    Anger problems? Troll? Bit rich coming from you.

    Troll you long time. Buh byeee.

  23. There’s very little difference between the behaviour of a troll and that of a toddler.

    Both lack emotional maturity.

    Both are entirely self-obsessed.

    Neither of them understands the concept of boundaries.

    Both behave in highly inappropriate ways.

    Neither knows when it’s behaving like an infant.

    Both demand constant attention.

    Both are extremely needy.

    Both throw tantrums when refused anything.

    Neither of them is in control of itself.

    Both need to be managed and where necessary put in their place.

    The good news for toddlers is this:

    1. They’ll grow out of it.

    2. They probably don’t have a severe drink problem.

  24. Thanks for that.. I’ve seen the error of my ways.

    Have to go now.. off to the pub. Driiiiiiiiiiiiiiink

  25. It’s possible to have an opinion about U2, and Bono, and it’s ok if it’s a negative one, regardless of anyone’s nationality. I believe U2 are and always have been shit. And Bono is a sanctimonious cunt.

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