The government is committed to holding a referendum so that a law can be passed permitting same-sex marriage and this is something I look forward to, but not the stuff that will come with it. I don’t look forward to the onslaught of lectures from self-appointed moral guardians, including the Catholic bishops and the ludicrous Iona Institute who will no doubt be afforded endless air time by RTÉ to promulgate their bigotry.
You see, we here in Ireland have an extraordinary commitment to principle. We love principles above everything else, and that’s what makes us better than everyone else in the whole wide world. We love a thing called The Family and we’ve used it over the years to fight all sorts of things from contraception to divorce and same-sex marriage. Now, of course, you wouldn’t want to confuse The Family with real families. While we’re more than happy to fight for The Family, you won’t see too many of these extreme right-wing groupings like the Iona Institute out there on the streets fighting to protect actual, real-life families as they struggle to survive.
Why? Because for the most part, such families are poor and the likes of the Iona Institute have no experience of poverty, just like the Catholic bishops.
In fairness to Enda Kenny, I have to acknowledge his continuing stance against Catholic authoritarianism. This is not something I expected of him, and as you know, I’m not one of his greatest admirers, but I do admire this about him. Despite being an observant Catholic, he does not bow down to the edicts of the Catholic hierarchy, a bunch of old men whose time has passed.
In coming months we’re going to hear a lot from the likes of the Catholic bishops and representatives of the ludicrous Iona non-Institute. Their submissions will all follow the same lines and they’ll all be nonsense.
Iona will be against same-sex marriage because at heart, the very thought repels them at a visceral level. They lack the maturity to accept the idea but they won’t express it in those terms. Instead, they’ll invent studies, research and papers to support their opposition. They’ll make stuff up, as they’ve done before, and for some inexplicable reason, people sympathetic to their point of view in RTÉ will ensure that they get access to the airwaves despite their being no more than a tiny self-appointed group of right-wing ideologues.
The Catholic bishops will be against it because that’s what Catholic bishops do. They can’t help being obsessed with sexual matters, and while they’ll dress it up with talk of The Family, in the end, it’s all about their obsession with genitalia. Bless them, the sad, virgin old men that they are. Sex can be a terrible obsession if you’ve never had it.
From every quarter, they’ll be telling you that same-sex marriage undermines a great institution and you’ll need to be asking them why, exactly? Is it because two men or women getting married somehow prevents you or me from doing the same with a member of the other sex?
Well, no. You can still marry a man or a woman, depending on your preference.
Will it stop you being happy in your relationship? No, unless you have an unhealthy obsession with other people’s same-sex marriages, as the bishops and the Iona Institute do.
The bishops are insisting that marriage should be about procreation. Very well then. In order to be consistent, will they insist that post-menopausal women and men who have had vasectomies should be forbidden from marrying? Of course they won’t, the silly old cross-dressers.
How exactly will a same-sex marriage affect anyone apart from those involved?
The answer is that it will have no effect whatsoever.
Relax. Your marriage is safe. The gays can’t damage it without your help, and besides, they don’t care.