Christmas jumpers. What’s that about?
You’re just settling into a friendly chat when here come Keith from Accounts, Orla from HR, Sinéad from IT, Declan from Quality Control, Mike from Health & Safety, Sarah from Sales, Jagdip from Customer Support and forty three more. They’re all wearing woolly jumpers and reindeer antlers. They all have shiny lights on them and they’ve never been inside the door of your favourite pub before tonight.
But here they are, all drunk, all shouting their heads off, all leaning into your personal space, pissing you off and spoiling the experience for the people whose plan is not to get drunk out of their heads and behave like utter knob-ends.
What’s more, they’re led by a control freak who’s getting the thrill of his life out of issuing orders about the drinks they must consume and the time they must spend in your favourite pub, before ordering them on to the next. This arsehole, in all likelihood, has no authority in the real world, for good reasons.
When they leave, they’ll try to steal everything that isn’t nailed down, as souvenirs.
You want to kill all these strangers and you wish the proprietor of your favourite watering hole would ban them, but of course, he’ll tell you they bring money with them, even if they leave after one drink. The question is, how many paying customers did they drive away?
I’m one of those who left and went home. Any others?