Christmas Songs

It’s the 10th of January and I’m glad to tell you I haven’t heard Fairytale of New York yet.  It must be a record.

(Boom Boom!)

Not only that, but I haven’t heard Jona fucking Lewie, Wham, Cliff Richard or Band Aid either.

Band Aid.  Do they know it’s Christmas?  Of course not, Bono, you fucking twit.  They’re Muslims.  Why the fuck should they know it’s Christmas?  There won’t be snow in Africa this Christmas.  Well actually, there will, on the top of every mountain.  In fact you can go skiing in South Africa, Morocco, Lesotho and Algeria.

Gah!  Driving home for Christmas.  Merry Xmas Everybody.  All I want for Christmas is You.  Last Christmas.


Who knows the words of these songs?  Does anyone know the words apart from the chorus?  I don’t think so, and that’s why I’m going to write a huge blockbusting Christmas song called Granny for Christmas.

The chorus will be

Granny for Christmas

Granny for Christmas

Granny for Christmas

Granny for Christmas

Nobody listens to the words, so the verse will be

Drugging Granny and chopping her up, chopping her up, chopping up 

Granny for Christmas

Granny for Christmas

Granny for Christmas

Granny for Christmas.

I reckon it should be in the supermarkets before long.




27 thoughts on “Christmas Songs

  1. I was just talking about this earlier today, usually at this time of year I have to update my cd supply in the car to combat the same repeated Christmas songs but thus far I haven’t needed them. I hope you haven’t hexed us.

  2. The radio stations have been taken over by the insurance fraudsters so there’s no time for christmas songs with the constant barrage of panicky fucking insurance ads.

  3. And; as for that other shower, the bankster Rabo-bank with their ads claiming ‘no sneaky stuff’ – feck ’em.
    They can feck off the lot of ’em

  4. Jeez Bock,you’ve been very cross recently. Many of your postings have encroached on getting personal,which is not your usual objective self. In the middle of all this you wrote a very nice item on Friends. Excuse my asking,is everything ok with you?

  5. On a rant there Bock, I was in Dun Laoghaire all last week and heard all this shit everywhere I went. I even had a little humm to meself.

  6. Not sure things are as simple as black or white good or bad. I think he should stop because he’s enabling the thing he’s trying to change by being part of the machine. He may feel that you can change the system from within but those that try and really mean it rarely get high enough in the ranks to effect meaningful change. However I believe that to be a result of his childlike view of what charity is and his belief in a higher power and the God’s will shitery he talks at times. Like a lot of religious conservatives he’s also extremely naive and lacks a robust understanding of politics and governmental systems [as opposed to the minority of savvy religious conservatives who fully understand and use it to control wealth who unfortunately rich philanthropists assist in the long run]. Id also say he’s getting some form of existential pay off the same way someone might get a positive feeling by buying a homeless guy outside centra a cup of coffee and a sandwich when here’s a bitter breeze blowing from Greenland straight down O Connel street. And yeah there s probably self promotion in there too but sure isn t everybody guilty of that in there own sly way.

  7. *Apologies…. on rereading you were clearly referring to the self promotion bit.

    It s not that sad in fairness…every time any fucker appears on TV there s an element of self promotion be it Paul O Connell, Ronan O Gara, or Bruce Springsteen.

  8. Yes Bock,Bono. If you think he uses the Third World to promote himself,that’s a criticism you’re perfectly entitled to express. I hold no candle for Bono,but calling him a fuckwit is not criticism,it’s abuse.I thought you were above that.

  9. Calling anyone a fucking twit isn’t exactly the worst thing you’ll hear on your walkabout. I could think of a hundred seriously abusive terms for Bono, but this isn’t one of them.

  10. This is a common misconception by those who engage in personal abuse believing that whatever they say isn’t the worst thing that can be said and try to justify it on that basis. They rarely think of the possible effect it has on the recipient. Now you refer to Bono as a fucking twit in the context of the Band Aid song of 1984. Do you think that Midge Ure,Paul Weller et alia were also fucking twits in this respect?

  11. Tonyc, I’m sure that there are many that would agree that Bono is a cunt based soley on the fact that he doesnt pay full tax in his own country, I also know that he would not care if Bock called him a fucking twit, or even a schmuck for that matter

  12. “How are you privy to Bono’s tax affairs?”

    We’re all privy to that tax dodging cunt’s affairs, as it’s widely reported how he goes about his dodging.
    I would suggest to you that you start googling . Try this – “how does Bono – the tax dodging cunt avoid paying taxes in Ireland?” You’ll get a good few results.

    On the post, I’m switching from radio channel to radio channel to dodge the Christmas songs.. it’s the same ding dong every fucking year. I’m sick of it already. Roll on January.

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