Tonight, our Prime Minister, Nadiba, addressed us in all his sincerity and pomposity.
I didn’t listen to it, obviously. Life’s too short for listening to a guy who can’t talk, but I imagine he straightened his tie, patted down the front of his jacket, checked his parting and said humpty humpty humpty hoo, or words to that effect, in whatever Mayo people think is a posh accent, because that’s what Nadiba does. The primary teacher of our nation.
Thank you, Nadiba, for teaching us to sing The Wheels On The Bus. And thank you for giving us strange Irish versions of our names.
But most of all, Nadiba, thank you for giving us a belief in our inner Culchie.
As our children spread out across the world, abandoning the country that was fucked by you and your mirror image party, Fianna Fáil, at least they’ll carry with them the inspirational leadership of Nadiba and his predecessor DaBert da Mighty.
Let us all celebrate for having such wonderful politicians to represent us.