Dog Enemies

 Posted by on March 23, 2014  Add comments
Mar 232014
 

I went out for a stroll with the dog today because the weather was very nice for a little while and the Hound of Satan was nearly finished chewing a leg off the top table in the Great Dining Hall.

Repair this! I instructed the Head Carpenter and called for my phaeton.  Take us to a riverside place that we may prance and gambol.

The hound of satan

Well, to be truthful with you, since I hammered my knee a few months ago by banging it off a large and heavy hard object, I haven’t been all that great with the prancing or the gambolling.  These days, I’m more a grunting-as-I-stand-up man.  But the Hound is still fond of the racing madly around an open space, barking at crows and snarling at joggers.  They’re serious bastards, crows.  One time,  the Hound chased a crow with a damaged wing, and let me tell you here and now, this is not a good plan.  Corvids are all about solidarity as I learned when they launched a concerted and violent attack on the intruder until he desisted.  Don’t mess with the crows.  You won’t win.

I was a little bit rattled, I must confess, after a marathon outing the day before, celebrating a significant family date.  Or as we call it  in Limerick, getting pissed.  But how bad?  Bonding with your children, eating chips in the pub and grooving to uber-cool sounds?  With drink.

How bad?

You might remember how I told you you about the neighbour’s dog, Satan’s Other Hound.  How do dogs become enemies?  I don’t know.  Surely after a good old sniff, maybe a bit of posturing, some snarling and perhaps a bark or two, that’s an end of it.  Yes?

No.  These two dogs hate each other, for reasons I do not comprehend.

When we got home from our relaxing walk, I killed the engine and popped the lid to dig  out the groceries — the usual supply of foie gras, beluga caviare , Cuban cigars and Moet, when I noticed a disconcerting snarling sound.

What the –? as people used to say in the comics.

It’s my Hound of Satan, locked in mortal combat with Satan’s Other Hound, who has taken to lurking outside the house to ambush my hellish pooch.  They’re at it again, trying to kill each other, because that’s how they roll, but guess what?  This time, my congenital laziness comes to the rescue.

Last time I tried to intervene between these two  hounds of Hell, by delivering a calming kick, I was badly bitten on the steel toecapped boot, but this time was different.  Only the other day, I was power-hosing the horrible green winter slime off the path, and of course, you couldn’t just tidy everything away the same day.

Aha!!  A nice discarded water hose.  All I need to do is fit a nozzle and turn on the tap.

Did you know that fighting dogs don’t like freezing cold water sprayed all over them?  No, neither did I until today.

  8 Responses to “Dog Enemies”

Comments (8)
  1.  

    “Killed the engine and popped the lid”. This an American website or what?

  2.  

    Tony, are you developing a severe trolling problem?

  3.  

    Bock,I thought you might rise to the bait. I’m sorry,I just needed a laugh today. Don’t bar me. I’m not really a nuisance.

  4.  

    Recently I discovered that there are no crows in this country, ravens only.

  5.  

    Thanks. Another wonderful contribution.

  6.  

    Ahhh heeeyorrr, leeeeave it bleeedin ouhh….

  7.  

    @ journeymans

    There are in fact seven members of the crow family in Ireland

    Jay Garrulus glandarius

    Magpie Pica pica

    Chough Pyrrhocorax pyrrhocorax

    Jackdaw Corvus monedula

    Rook Corvus frugilegus

    Hooded Crow Corvus corone cornix

    Raven Corvus corax

    see http://tinyurl.com/ox549qo

  8.  

    Haymoon –
    In your considered opinion, which do you consider, all in all, is the best one?

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