John Steele doesn’t make extravagant promises in his election literature, because he doesn’t have election literature. He won’t make absurd claims on your doorstep, because he won’t bother calling to your door. Ever.
Unlike the council candidates who fraudulently claim to have some role in education, policing, agriculture, fisheries, employment, social welfare or water supplies, John Steele admits that a councillor has no power, no authority and no influence.
The only working artist running in the local elections is refreshingly honest about his role. I’ll do fuck-all, is his campaign slogan.
I’m 95% honest, he says, and you can’t get better than that. I understand some of the issues, which is a big improvement over the wasters you have right now, and I mean quite a lot of the things I say when I’m sober.
So, what will he do when he’s elected?
Fuck-all, he replies. But I’ll take no shit, and if you elect me, it means one of those other wasters gets the elbow.
Anyway, he adds, it might stop some other chancer getting elected. Elect me and I promise not to bother my arse going to many council meetings, but when I do turn up, it will be to call some bluffer a gobshite, and you know, we have plenty of useless bluffers on Limerick City Council.
Besides that, I’ll probably just go to conferences, collect my expenses and draw the salary, but I promise to spend it exclusively on free drink for my friends. I’ll invite everyone onto the Paddy’s Day platform. The whole city will be one big Paddy’s Day platform. Power to the people. Pint?