One Direction Smoking Weed on Video Shocker

Teenie band makes elementary PR error.

one-direction

Guess what.  A bunch of twenty-something band-members shared a spliff on the way to a gig.  Who knew that 20-year-olds smoked dope?  Jesus, next thing, you’ll be telling me young people have sex with other people they just met in a night-club.

Who the fuck knew?

Well obviously the Daily Mail didn’t, since their hacks are having a conniption about the threat to the moral wellbeing of the eight-year-olds who follow One Direction.  How much  better it would have been to leak a video of the lads drinking beer, or maybe a naggin of Smirnoff before the show, cos, you know, that would have been ok, since alcohol, as everyone knows, is harmless, whereas marijuana is … wait, let we think.  Oh now I remember. Marijuana is a gateway drug.  Unlike harmless alcohol, marijuana will eventually turn you into a slavering junkie, and there are countless studies to prove this, apparently.

Isn’t it true that most heroin addicts started on marijuana?  I don’t know, but even if it was true, what would that prove — that most addictive personalities are willing to try everything?  That marijuana didn’t provide what they were looking for because it’s too mild?  The reality is that, even if most junkies started on blow, every single one of them has experimented with milk and nobody is accusing the dairy industry of destroying our youth.

By the way, I say all this as somebody who doesn’t smoke anything, not even tobacco.  I just happen to detest this smug, self-important ignorance adopted by the Born Forties.

Who am I talking about?  Daily Mail readers and cognate grades, none of whom had a childhood or an adolescence but who all emerged from the womb slightly balding and wearing a concerned frown.  You know them.  I know them.  We all know the smug motherfuckers who look down on everyone that fails to fit their narrow buttoned-up template of drabness.

Christ, did I ever think I’d be defending One Direction?

Here’s a crowd of lads on the adventure of their lives, and let me ask any of the musician multitude I know:  would you turn down the chance to live the life in favour of your musical purity?

Put down your hand, that man.  We all know who you are.

Now, the rest of you crowd of drunkards, stoners, madmen and bons-vivants.  Would you say no to a tour of South America?

No.  I didn’t think so.

How about a tour of North America?

No.  I didn’t think so either, but wait.  What about the members of One Direction themselves?  Are they completely fucking stupid?  What the fuck are they doing making videos of themselves smoking doobies in Peru (where such activity happens to be completely legal, by the way)?  Don’t they know that the newly-puritanical United States will ban them anyway, conviction or not?

If I had any musical talent  — yes, I know, I wouldn’t be in One Direction — and if, somehow, my act appealed to a lucrative cohort of parents and pre-teenies, I’d be very cynical and controlling about my squeaky-clean public image.  I’d hoover up the cash as long as I could until they got tired of me and I certainly wouldn’t be making videos of myself and the lads smoking fucking spliffs in a fucking van on the way to a fucking gig.

Amateurs.

The Daily Mail and all its clones can fuck off for their hypocrisy, but at the same time, this is one more reason why One Direction should disappear forever.  Gross incompetence.

Lads, you’re not fucking Motorhead.  You’re a fucking teenie band.

Get a grip.

4 thoughts on “One Direction Smoking Weed on Video Shocker

  1. I have a twelve year old daughter. I am so relieved that she has never been into Wand Erection as most of her class mates seem to be. I also feel lucky that I did not have to make my way to Croke Park with all those mammies last weekend to listen to that soulless crap. That would be my idea of hell.

    I can see those lads burning out very soon. It will all go pear shaped at some stage as they have handed themselves mind, body and soul over to an industry that will never value them. Motorhead they ain’t.

  2. Maybe they smoked it Clinton style – no inhaling.
    Just a little puff and an exhale.
    I think that’s ok.

  3. Indeed, Artemis, and after Brother Bill – a hard dawg to keep on the porch, according to Billary – denied that he rode Monica Lewinsky rotten (on her mother’s bed), the New York Times ran the headline “He Don’t Inhale And He Don’t Impale.”

    In relation to One Direction, who is your favourite member of Boys Zone, or one of those appalling Boy Bands, some auld cynic was once asked.

    “The next one that dies,” he replied.

  4. I would sincerely hope it not altogether inconceivable for an individual to both live the life and maintain musical purity. The annals of music and hedonism surely provide us with at least a few such examples…

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