Oct 012014
 

Do you remember the ridiculous blasphemy law that Fianna Fáil’s Dermot Ahern decided he must introduce in the face of massive public apathy?

Here’s section 36 of the Defamation Act 2009.  Can you believe this nonsense in a country that claims to be a democratic republic?

(1) A person who publishes or utters blasphemous matter shall be guilty of an offence and shall be liable upon conviction on indictment to a fine not exceeding €25,000.

(2) For the purposes of this section, a person publishes or utters blasphemous matter if—

(a) he or she publishes or utters matter that is grossly abusive or insulting in relation to matters held sacred by any religion, thereby causing outrage among a substantial number of the adherents of that religion, and

(b) he or she intends, by the publication or utterance of the matter concerned, to cause such outrage.

Excuse me?

“Held sacred by any religion”. In other words, it’s a crime to say anything that some random religious nutcase might choose to take offence at. It’s a crime to mock or ridicule a belief in the supernatural, despite the complete lack of evidence for ghosties or ghoulies. Star Chamber territory: the severity of my crime depends on how outraged a given religious maniac chooses to feel on any given day.

If I offend the Church of Scientology, by laughing at their idea that an alien lives inside your head, I might get fined 20 grand?

If I upset the Mormons by suggesting that the tribes of Israel never lived in North America and that Joseph Smith was a lunatic, the cops are going to come and arrest me?

Probably not, since these are utterly mad religions, unlike the perfectly sensible majority belief in Ireland that a priest can turn a biscuit into a man by waving his hands at it.

jesus battlestar catholactica

Luckily for us, an Garda Síochána has been in no massive rush to prosecute those of us who happen to think religious belief should hold the same status as the belief in any other fantasy, so there hasn’t been a rush to burn us at the stake for mocking their delusions.  Otherwise, who knows what would have happened if the followers of Yog-Sothoth had complained to the authorities?  Would the Pastafarians have tossed me in the slammer for straining credulity?

I did an annual Good Friday blasphemous post every year since 2009 in protest at the ridiculous Section 36, and long before it too, but strangely, no copper ever felt my collar.

Let me share some of them here with you for posterity.

Saint Bock’s Gospel

Battlestar Catholactica

Christian Science and the Zombie Jesus

Holy iPhone Apps

 

Of course, this sort of thing always invites the incredibly boring troll who says something like, You’d never say this about the Muslims, would you?

Yes, actually.  I would.

Imagine being a dead Muslim martyr.

 

 

 

 

  5 Responses to “Blasphemy Referendum – Ridding Irish Law of Catholic Sharia”

Comments (5)
  1.  

    Hang on, lack of evidence??? Why, I have my ghoulies in my hand right now!

  2.  

    “Would the Pastafarians have tossed me in the slammer for straining credulity?”

    Nice one!

  3.  

    Official: Matthias, son of Deuteronomy of Gath …
    Matthias: (to Official’s Helper): Do I say “Yes”?
    Official’s Helper: Yes.
    Matthias: Yes.
    Official: You have been found guilty by the elders of the town of uttering the
    name of our Lord and so as a blasphemer you are to be stoned to
    death.
    Matthias: Look, I’d had a lovely supper and all I said to my wife was, “That
    piece
    Official: Blasphemy! He’s said it again.
    Women: Yes, he did.
    Official: Did you hear him?
    Women: Yes we did. Really.
    Official: (suspiciously) Are there any women here today?

    (The women all shake their heads. The Official faces Matthias again.)

    Official: Very well, by virtue of the authority vested in me …

    (One of the women throws a stone and it hits Matthias on the knee.)

    Matthias: Ow. Lay off. We haven’t started yet.
    Official: (turning around) Come on, who threw that?

    (Silence.)
    Who threw that stone? Come on.
    Women: (pointing to the culprit, keeping their voices as low in pitch as
    they can)
    She did.
    *He did.*
    He. Him.
    Culprit: (very deep voice) Sorry, I thought we’d started.
    Official: Go to the back.
    Culprit: Oh dear.
    (disappointedly goes to back)
    Official: There’s always one, isn’t there? Now, where were we? …
    Matthias: Look. I don’t think it ought to be blasphemy, just saying
    “Jehovah!”

    (Sensation!!!! The women gasp.)

    Women: (high voices) He said it again.
    (low voices) He said it again.
    Official: (to Matthias) You’re only making it worse for yourself.
    Matthias: Making it worse? How can it be worse? Jehovah, Jehovah, Jehovah.

    (Great Sensation!!!!!!)

    Official: I’m warning you. If you say “Jehovah” once more …
    (He gasps at his error and claps his hand over his mouth. A stone
    hits him on the side of the head. He reacts.)
    Right! Who threw that?
    Women: (high voices)
    It was her.
    It was *him*.
    (low voices)
    It was him.
    Official: Was it you?
    Culprit: Yes.
    Official: All right.
    Culprit: Well, you did say “Jehovah.”

  4.  

    In fairness, the section was designed to be unprosecutable and was added only because Dev’s Bunreacht said that blasphemy had to be a crime.

    Nevertheless, it is a risible bit of turd-polishing.

  5.  

    “Would the Pastafarians have tossed me in the slammer for straining credulity?”

    No, maybe a (pasta) strainer not a slammer ).

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