Oct 192014
 

Ex-model turned artist who danced with Mick Jagger faces eviction.

I swear to you I did not make up that headline.  It’s taken from a piece in the Sunday Independent about Jennifer Fitzgerald,  who faces eviction from a house in Dalkey on which €1.8 million is owed, with nothing having been paid off the mortgage since 2010.

irish independent niamh horan jennifer fitzgerald

Ms Fitzgerald’s ex-husband signed an agreement with the bank consenting to repossession, but Jennifer Fitzgerald denied under oath that she had consented to the raising of loans on the property.  The judge said that Ms Fitzgerald’s evidence was untrue.  Not only had she consented, but she had done so by way of  documents signed in the presence of a lawyer witness.

Contrary to Jennifer’s  claim that she had been forced to sign the documents under duress, the judge, Jacqueline Linnane, stated plainly that  she did not believe the sworn testimony.

That’s the background, but in many ways it’s not the story.  For me, the real story was an article in the Sunday Independent by Niamh Horan.

I’d never heard of Niamh Horan before, possibly because she’s not that widely known outside the Indo, but I thought the article was a masterpiece of comic genius.  I thought it was wickedly funny, a beautifully-judged, sardonic, devastatingly dead-pan  satire.  After all, Barbara Cartland is dead, and who else could come up with lines like these, apart from a comic genius of parody?

Her steel-blue eyes are a striking reminder of the girl who started to make waves on the international modelling scene at the age of 18.

I won The Look of the Year, I represented Ireland in Supermodel of the World, I did very well.

And hilariously,

Her tales of the night she danced with Mick Jagger while the crowd cleared the floor are wildly at odds with the reality of her life today.

But most tragic of all was Jennifer’s experience of Social Welfare.

I was sitting there in my Henry White coat – I used to be their house model – saying: ‘I can’t believe this is happening to me.’

Well done, Niamh, I thought.  A new comedic genius on the block.

And so I said, in a tweet on the Twitter machine.

NIamh Horan comic genius

I thought that would be the end of it, but no.  Game to the end, Niamh played along with the joke and replied with this tweet.

NIamh Horan comic genius

In fairness, it takes a well-honed sense of comedy to carry on a joke that way.

I’m not usually given to making predictions, but I’ll predict this: if Niamh Horan is serious about her comedy, and if she works on her art, she has a long and illustrious career ahead of her.

Watch out Ricky Gervais.  There’s a new kid in town.

 

 

  5 Responses to “Ex-model turned artist who danced with Mick Jagger faces eviction”

Comments (5)
  1.  

    Niamh Horan – another reason not to buy the Sindo, as if we needed one.

    Your piece reminds me of this excellent article Clive James wrote on bad writing.

    http://www.lrb.co.uk/v02/n11/clive-james/a-blizzard-of-tiny-kisses

  2.  

    Christ, she must have been having a ‘slow’ day, with that response.
    Although, I think everyday might be a slow day for Niamh.

    Who are you, to be thinking this article has to be some sort of ridiculous joke?
    It can’t be easy collecting your dole, whilst wearing some sort of, (I presume fancy) coat, especially when you once danced with Mick Jagger.

    Are these people on drugs?
    Niamh has my full sympathies anyway. It can’t be easy being that dumb.

  3.  

    is that the same one who said, “not all female rugby players are man hating lesbians”

  4.  

    The same

  5.  

    very lucky for old N. that she’d danced with Mick Jagger, otherwise she
    may have landed up in the slammer alongside of ladies who owed a few
    shillings and didn’t even know old leather lips.

Leave a Reply