Dear Sir Bob and Sir Bono,
Do they know it’s Christmas?
No, Sir Bob and Sir Bono. I imagine they don’t, since it’s still only the middle of November, but leaving that aside, why the fuck would they know it’s approaching Christmas? Most of them are Muslims.
Why would these West-African Muslims know that it’s nearly time to engage in an obscene European orgy of eating and drinking?
Why would these poor people know that Christmas is a time here in Ireland for poor people to approach money-lenders and obtain loans at penal lending rates so that they can supply their children with the consumer goods, assembled by poor people in impoverished countries, that they’ve come to expect thanks to the consumerist society we’ve constructed?
Why would these poor African people be impressed that poor Irish people spend the rest of the year paying those money-lenders just so that they can climb back on the treadmill next Christmas to buy their children more consumer goods?
How would these poor Muslim people know that it’s Christmas, a time when the unimaginably wealthy people of the Northern hemisphere engage in disgusting competition to see who can create the most waste?
Why would anyone in Sierra Leone give a shit about the vacuous Coca-Cola Santa culture that animates and informs your stupid, patronising, smug anthem to pop-star wealth?
What would be wrong with you guys donating a few of your millions, quietly and without fuss, instead of making yet another celebrity show out of your charity work?
With the greatest respect, Sir Bob and Sir Bono, why don’t you go fuck your smug, condescending selves?