As we enjoyed our delicious minced pork in spicy barbecue sauce, the conversation turned to eating habits.
We eat too much meat, said somebody.
You can never eat too much meat, I replied. If God didn’t want us to eat meat, why would he give us canine teeth?
Why would he have made chickens in the shape of little round balls of delicious meat? asked Bullet. Little round balls of meat that are really easy to catch.
Why would he have made Japanese oven-ready turkeys for Christmas? asked someone else.
You know. The turkeys that kneel in front of the cooker, disembowel themselves, slit their own throats and jump into the oven.
What’s the next stage of evolutions for chickens? asked somebody. Breadcrumbed?
Say what you like, said Bullet, but it’s a pretty successful way to protect the species.
Getting eaten is a survival technique?
Of course. Do you really think the world would be full of chickens if they were inedible? It’s an interesting evolutionary strategy. Evolve into a delicious food and the survival of your species is guaranteed.
Jesus, said someone, if they ever evolve into drugs the planet will be knee-deep in chickens. Planet of the Chickens.