Many years ago, we had a dog called Lazarus. He wasn’t named after the famous Lazarus who rose from the dead at the command of Jesus, but after an entirely different Lazarus, a poor beggar who crouched at the rich man’s table and scoured the ground for whatever crumbs might fall there. He was a nice dog, but he did have a habit of grovelling and moaning until someone threw him a few crumbs.
Now, you might think I mention this parable in reference to the Greeks, but I do not.
Getting support from Europe does require conditions to be adhered to, warned Enda Kenny, in an impressively lifelike illusion. Robotics has come a long way from the days when a ventriloquist had to sit the puppet on his lap with a hand through a hole in its back. These days, they can be radio-controlled and the new plastic skin is incredibly convincing, though they still haven’t quite nailed the synthetic voice-box and the hair is a bit red to be fully human.
Was that a trace of a Dr Strangelove accent creeping into Enda’s lecture as he reminded Greece about getting too uppity with the ECB and his good friends at the top table of Europe? The ones who occasionally throw Enda a crumb when they’re not patting him on the head or kicking him.
Enda would do well to remember what country he’s the Prime Minister of. This is the country where, according to Professor Bill Black, the government made the worst financial mistake in history. A country where insane decisions were taken, including the decision to bail out subordinated bondholders, which has never happened anywhere else. A country that capitulated fully to the bullying of the ECB and the European Commission, with the result that the country sank.
And after Kenny crawled into office by defeating the worst government in our history, he continued to support the same insane decisions that had sunk the country, including paying subordinated bondholders every penny of the face value on the paper they held. He continued to provide high-risk gamblers with a guarantee of winning the jackpot.
Now, in an embarrassing example of Stockholm Syndrome, here’s Enda parrotting the words of his remote-control operators, and patronising a country that seeks to resist the sort of bullying that drove Ireland to the precipice.
I imagine the Greeks laughed it off, if they noticed at all. In truth, who could be offended by anything an automaton might say? Especially an automaton that is still too stiff to pass a Turing Test.
The Lazarus-2015 unit is working well enough, but it’s still at the development stage. Unfortunately, it somehow managed to become our head of government.
Send for Deckard.