Tonight, my brothers, hissed Abu Bakr-al-Boopsie, narrowing his eyes and checking his rock-like abs in the moonlit water as his Navy-with-a-slight-hint-of-Cerise Seals paddled silently towards their destination. Tonight we shall know glory!
It was late, and they’d trekked many clicks without a shower, carrying this inflatable boat, finding their way only by Gaydar. His men were sweaty and unshaven though still incredibly hot, and their Gayhadist designer uniforms were spotless. We cannot lose, my brothers, he grinned. Now, who has brought the stun grenades?
I have, my Sheikh, replied a slim, oiled young man. And also the Madonna CDs.
And the Kylie tapes?
Yes, my Sheikh, said a heavily-muscled shaven-headed woman in a Young Munsters jersey.
Abu Bakr-al-Boopsie nodded in manly approval. He was nervous but not afraid, for his cause was just and his stubble was feeling just right.
Tonight, my brothers, he told his elite team. Tonight we strike a blow against families everywhere, for this is the night that a million teams of militant Gayhadists set out to deprive all children of their Mums and Dads. Not a child on the planet will be left with a Mum or a Dad when we have finished this night’s work.
Moo-ha-ha, chanted his followers.
Moo-ha-ha agreed the Sheikh, absently. Hush now, my brothers, for we approach our prey.
And so it came to pass. that Abu Bakr-al-Boopsie that night abducted 324 Mums and 413 Dads, while his fellow Gayhadist leaders took a total of 32,537 Mums and 53,972 Dads.
It was to be the first of many Mum-and-Dad-depriving nights and when the Gayhadists were finished, not a child in the whole world had a Mum and a Dad.
For that is the aim of Gayhadists everywhere. To deprive a child of a Mum or a Dad.