In an unprecedented move, the Irish government has withdrawn all ships and aircraft from the seas between Libya and Italy to deal with a domestic problem that threatens to destabilise the State. As news began to filter out earlier today, it became apparent that Denis O’Brien’s pram was running critically low on toys for the multi-billionaire to throw out and a decision was made at an incorporeal cabinet meeting to resupply him as a matter of urgency.
Sources close to government suggested that the move was an unpalatable but necessary measure to avoid complete hissy-fits possibly followed by nappy-throwing and fainting.
According to a spokesman, This is a temporary move, designed to supply Mr O’Brien with sufficient toys to throw out of his pram for at least six months. Following completion of the operation, we’ll return to the Mediterranean to save lives.
It is understood that only one toy is considered suitable for Mr O’Brien’s plan, and a large order has been placed for disposable minions.