As we all know, standing in the rain makes people gasp for breath like they’re on the last stage of the Everest ascent and their oxygen has run out. That’s why poor Teresa Mannion was reduced to offering breathless advice for drivers and divers.
Don’t make unnecessary journeys. Because, y’know, most of us do make unnecessary journeys, being so disorganised. It’s just as well we have windswept Teresa to remind us, like a brine-soaked Irish Mammy warning us not to run across the road on the way to school.
Thanks for the advice, Tess. Imagine living all these years without realising that it makes no sense to travel unnecessarily. Who knew? Think of all the fuel we could have saved.
I suppose it’s the anguished RTE outside-reporter face that makes the difference. The frowning face of authority.
Even though the same agonised outside-broadcast-face-people keep repeating meaningless phrases like “the river burst its banks” we still love them for their overturned trucks and their “fire brigades” and all the other little quirks that we’d gently correct our five-year-olds for saying in the hope they wouldn’t grow up to become an RTE frowning-face in the rain. We’d wish for our children that they wouldn’t become somebody screaming at a camera when they could be standing into a doorway like any normal person instead of pretending to be Sherpa Tensing.
Stand in, for Christ’s sake. It’s only Salthill in the rain and the wind, not the Haiti Earthquake. Stand into a doorway, relax yourself and tell us in a calm voice what’s going on.
The rain is relatively heavy. The wind is strong but this is not exactly Syria in the winter where millions cling to life in tented villages, reported on by dedicated and committed journalists risking their own lives.
This is Galway. The clue is in the commuter traffic calmly driving past you on a flood-free road. There are no palm trees whipping in the typhoon winds.
Jesus, Teresa, it’s only Galway. You’re three minutes from a hot whiskey and not an ISIS gunman or an avalanche in sight. And yet you’re out in the rain acting as if nobody in Ireland ever did such a thing before.
Get a grip girl.