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Crime

Burglar caught by his own footprints in flour from neighbour’s apartment

Anthony Rudkin Weston Super Mare burglar flourYou have to love idiot criminals, don’t you?

Here’s a thundering fool called Anthony Rudkin, who waited until his neighbour went out to work and then robbed his flat in Weston-Super-Mare.  Fully equipped for burglary, even bringing a pair of rubber gloves to make sure he wouldn’t leave fingerprints, Rudkin crept across the hallway, broke into his neighbour’s home, stealing jewellery and a Playstation and crept back to his own hovel.

The perfect crime, you might say, except that the fool didn’t notice one crucial fact.

Rudkin’s neighbour had dropped a bag of flour on the floor, for reasons yet to be explained, and the idiot robber left a perfect trail of footprints back to his own front door for the police to follow half an hour later when the victim alerted them.

Hmm. A half-baked crime, you’re probably saying. On interrogation, Rudkin’s answers were a trifle tart but in the end his defence crumbled and even though he was using his loaf by owning up quickly, his prompt confession still took the biscuit.

I did it, said Rudkin who’s now facing a jail term of two and a half years.

People say he’ll get out within weeks but there isn’t a grain of truth in that. This guy is toast.

 

 

4 replies on “Burglar caught by his own footprints in flour from neighbour’s apartment”

This story Ranks fairly high on the auld Odlum yarn list…

(I think I’ll just quit while I’m ahead)

When Rudkin’s neighbour was asked by reporters what was the flour to be used for, the neighbour said to bake doughnuts, but because of the break-in is now sick of the hole business.

Rudkin’s excuse to the cops for doing the break-in when caught, is that he kneaded the dough.

(I’ll get me coat)

Rudkin’s story is one of sorrow and woe. Even though Rudkin was his Mother’s Pride and joy as a child, he had almost entirely Self-Raised himself throughout his teenage years.

Respite came for Rudkin when he married his childhood sweetheart Cherry Bakewell at a young age. However, the marriage was to be short lived when he realised what a Tart she had become, causing him no end of sexual dysfunctional problems, but solace came in the form of him Master Baking at his local Bakery.

Things were to change for Rudkin, when one night the bakery caught fire, and he Rudkin was just a Scone’s throw away from becoming Brown Bread with Rudkin thinking that he was about to meet his Baker. This was to cause Rudkin to have a Mental Bakedown, with him being classified as not being the Full Loaf.

But that was all Yeasterday as Rudkin has managed to turn his life around, because today Rudkin engages in every Half-Baked scheme to earn a Crust, with him earning most of his Dough at Yeast by a Leaven o’ Clock working for a fixed Flourly Rate.

Asked why he had engaged in crime in later life, Rudkin stated that he was Gluten for Punishment, but went on to say that the crime he was caught for, was a much a-Dough about Muffin. On completion of his jail term, Rudkin is intent on getting his life back on track as he say’s himself “it’s the Yeast I can do”.

(I’ll get me Coat)

What a fruit cake! As Del Boy would say ‘Rudkin you tart’. What a half baked idea that was.You currant make it up. The police couldn’t believe their mince pies when they saw it. He was caught badly at the heel of the hunt. He’d better be careful in prison or he could end up toast, yeah brown bread. Maybe his china bread plate can smuggle in a file in a cake for him.

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