Mar 292016
 

Apple-iPhone-5SCall me innocent if you want to, but I just assumed that the FBI, the CIA and Mossad are able to see everything my electronic devices are doing. I thought Homeland Security knew how many times I boiled my kettle — which is why I use a gas stove (clever or what?) — and I thought they were able to count the number of shirts I iron every week. That would probably explain the extremely bored and overweight CIA shirtwatcher waiting to detect ironing activity chez moi while his career goes nowhere. No promotions in Bock ironing duty.

Yes, I must be naive. I thought every gadget made in the world had a back door built into it as a matter of course so that the FBI wouldn’t have to take Apple to court just because they needed to unlock an iPhone. And failing that, why didn’t the FBI just bring the phone to one of the many Pakistani shops that specialise in unlocking phones? They’re very good at what they do, you know, but maybe the Americans were a bit too invested in profiling and didn’t think it was a good plan to be involving people from the Indian sub-continent in such sensitive matters. After all, it was only this week that a disabled man had his payment bounced by a US bank because his dog was called Dash. The ever-vigilant teller detected that this sounded a lot like Daesh, the contemptuous acronym for ISIS (if it had been written in Arabic) and decided he was a potential terrorist threat. Because of course, a member of Islamic State is going to approach an American bank using a name that ISIS absolutely hates.

You can never be too careful, or too stupid.

Ok. It’s Murica and they aren’t going to use some Pakistani guy in a corner shop to unlock their iPhone, just in case he turns out to be, well, Pakistani and they have to put his name before Obama for the morning kill list.

Are we sending in a drone, Mr President? Huh? Are we?

What did he do?

Well, he fixed the phone while being Pakistani.

Isn’t that like being sort of Afghan?

Yes, Mr President.

Let me get back to you after my early-morning volleyball tango session.

But seriously, I thought they could control everything. I thought nothing in this world was made without a back door and it turns out I was right, but the back door is only for some people. The FBI might not have this access, and the CIA might not have this access. Homeland Security still don’t know how much tea I make and they still believe I iron 18.2 shirts a week. The White House might not have this access, and nor might the Pentagon, but somebody does.

Somebody is able to achieve a feat that the FBI can’t manage and yet nobody in the US security fraternity seems concerned about this fact.

Somebody out there is able to unlock an iPhone without losing its data and this person or body is referred to only as a Third Party.

To explain: the FBI has withdrawn its legal action against Apple since they have been able, with the assistance of what they describe as a third party, to unlock the phone of Syed Rizwan Farook, the San Bernardino shooter.

According to their status report submitted to the US District Court

The government has now successfully accessed the data stored on Faroook’s iPhone and therefore no longer requires the assistance from Apple Inc. …

And who might this Third party be? We’re all wondering about that, but informed sources are suggesting that it might be a company located in a country that proudly describes itself as the only democracy in the Middle East.

Now. Won’t it  make you feel a lot more secure tonight as you snuggle into your bed, knowing that the self-proclaimed only democracy in the Middle East has more technological savvy than the self-proclaimed greatest democracy in the world?

Apple might well be re-examining precisely where its manufacturing contracts are going, who is handling the manufacturing and who exactly has a say in the construction of its products but meanwhile, Bibi’s been reading your texts, Barack.

Stick to that BlackBerry.

  13 Responses to “Israeli company helps FBI to crack iPhone”

Comments (13)
  1.  

    There was probably an orange or red terrorism alert send out when your man with the dog was reported.. they advise the public to watch out for anything suspicious.

    I”m not sure about the ironing (you could ask Snowden on twitter about that if you were so inclined) but I wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve snooped around these parts of the internets.

    It’s a good thing Apple made a stand IMO.. If it was any of our shower here, they’d be bending over.

  2.  

    The whole story does tend to undermine all the conspiracy theory stuff, if the Federal power cannot unlock an iPhone, how could it possibly have: aliens in Area 51/organised a New World Order/ supported the Iluminati, etc?

  3.  

    It’s baffling. But of course, the USA seems to have outsourced the important stuff.

    The San Bernardino attack is clearly seen as a minor, peripheral aberration.

  4.  

    About the aliens.. wasn’t there a guy in England who cracked into the FBI’s computers (he said it was very simple to do) and saw pictures of aliens. They were trying to have him extradited for it for years.

  5.  

    Gary McGinnon.. It was Nasa he hacked into.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gary_McKinnon

    McKinnon has admitted in many public statements that he obtained unauthorised access to computer systems in the United States including those mentioned in the United States indictment. He states his motivation, drawn from a statement made before the Washington Press Club on 9 May 2001 by “The Disclosure Project”, was to find evidence of UFOs, antigravity technology, and the suppression of “free energy”, all of which he states to have proven through his actions.

  6.  

    The best way to sort out apple out for not helping out is to put the unlocking codes up on the net, for all to see

  7.  

    I gather they didn’t manage to get unlocking codes so you’re idea is going nowhere.

  8.  

    At comment 4. Who were trying to get yer man extradited, ET and his mates, or the FBI?

    Is there an extradition agreement between Mars and the UK?

    On the subject of Blackberry being more secure. Billary, abettd by the Revenue Man, proved too much for one Alphonse Gabriel Capone, on her tail on account of the email scandal.

    As US Secretary of State and Senator for people who remain untouched by human hand for at least a decade, Clinton was using a Blackberry. She was also using a private server in her home for “gubmint” business, according to reports.

    Why ya’ll, Abdul and the more motivated followers of Mo may have been reading her emails to Jug Ears in real time.

    Shucks!

  9.  

    At comment 4. Who were trying to get yer man extradited, ET and his mates, or the FBI?

    Is there an extradition agreement between Mars and the UK?

    On the subject of Blackberry being more secure, the FBI, whose perseverance proved too much for one Alphonse Gabriel Capone, abetted by the Revenue Man, are on Billary Clinton’s tail on account of the email scandal.

    As US Secretary of State and Senator for people who remain untouched by human hand for at least a decade, Clinton was using a Blackberry. She was also using a private unsecured server in her home for “gubmint” business, according to reports.

    Why ya’ll, Abdul and the more motivated followers of Mo may have been reading her emails to Jug Ears in real time.

    Shucks!

  10.  

    I have a great deal of difficulty rationalizing your comments. You plebs would be the first one to bleet like pigs when the FBI-CIA etc miss a plot and a Brussels like attack occures in your area because the phones of the perpetrators could not be read because you jerk heads work to prevent your phones be accessed by them. Do you really think that they have time to go through your pathetic emails when they have billions of others to work through. Get a life guys.

  11.  

    Please don’t waterboard us, Major. Have mercy.

  12.  

    I don’t doubt that the NSA had the capability to unlock the phone or at least copy\extract the contents all along. The Israeli firm in question is most probably using a technique called NAND mirroring and the US 3 letter agencies would all be familiar with this.
    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2016/03/23/israeli_firm_fb/

    IMHO This was all about the DoJ\FBI getting the court precedent using the 200 year old Al Writs act where the Govt can force a company into doing work for them. Remember the DoJ\FBI swore blind that Apple was the only one who could help them, then low and behold here’s an Israeli firm that has been doing it all along. I guess google search doesn’t work in FBI HQ… :-/

    This would have been the thin edge of the wedge.
    Today it was a customized version of iOS to bypass the wipe feature after 10 failed password attempts of one particular phone.

    Tomorrow it would have been the DoJ\FBI having a copy of that iOS that they could use for any iphone.

    After that, backdoor keys on all iphones… reviving the Clipper Chip…

  13.  

    p.s.
    If you have an iPhone, do not download update 9.3.1
    It’s a bug from Apple which they have yet not built a fix for.
    It disables all Apps and browsers on the phone.

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