Dog Attacks

Keep your aggressive dogs at home.

My dog is no saint. I know this. That’s why I call it the Hound of Satan.

My dog has a tendency to bark and growl at other dogs, which is why I don’t let my dog out to wander the streets. I keep my dog under control. But at the same time, my dog is fearless and has saved our home from burglary at least twice. On one occasion I found three rough-looking lads standing on the garden wall with my little satanic protector snarling up at them.

Will he bite us, Boss?

He’ll tear the arse off you. What are you doing in my house?

One of my neighbours has a similar dog. I don’t know who that neighbour is, but their dog is not kept in. Their dog is allowed to wander and for some odd reason, he lurks for hours at my front wall waiting to ambush my dog. This is a foolish plan, because anyone ambushing my dog can expect severe consequences and yet my neighbour’s dog has tried this twice.

Both times, my dog has staggered home covered in blood, most of which came from somewhere else, but that’s not the point. I don’t like seeing my dog chewed up by some bastard mutt that should be locked up in case he attacks a child.

It’s no consolation to me that my dog probably inflicted worse damage on the aggressor. I don’t like hearing the vet telling me that the attacking dog somehow bit my dog’s leg right to the bone and managed to inflict a fracture on it. I don’t like having to pay the vet a large amount of money because somebody else can’t be bothered keeping their aggressive animal behind walls.

It’s a pity other people wouldn’t take the same precautions.

I’m issuing a clear warning now. If I see that neighbour’s dog hanging around my house again, I won’t hesitate. I’ll say Shoo! Clear off!

6 thoughts on “Dog Attacks

  1. Shoo clear off, as he tries to pry your boot from his arse..

    Dogs are great, when they know who’s the boss.

    Ever have a dog sleep in your bed? Not just any dog mind you.. Your own dog like.
    It’s not very hygienic I know.. but it’s just a bit of bacteria and shur we’re full of the stuff ourselves.. but they’re mad creatures altogether. After a bit of a snuggle and a chat, they go off burrowing themselves down to the bottom of the bed under all the sheets.

    It’s a thing. Here –

    The hound sounds a bit wouldn’t mess with her.

  2. I’d say a chat with the neighbour too might be on the cards.. and possibly reimbursement for your vet bill.

    Maybe give the hound a relaxer and put a ribbon on her to show how placid she is.. that it was definitely the other dog’s fault.

  3. Alternatively, adopt the stray, extract teeth, and keep it as a plaything for Satan!

  4. The problem is not the neighbour’s dog, its just an animal, have the neighbour put down

  5. Black Widow catapult, one whack of a high velocity pebble into the ribs and he’ll fuck off for good….you can borrow mine.

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