Bock’s Back

 Posted by on October 15, 2018  Add comments
Oct 152018
 

Ah fuck it. Everyone needs a break now and again but this is ridiculous.

It’s time to come back and spread ridicule. Time to vent spleen. Time to poke hornet nests again.

Those long months in the wilderness were worth it for the soul-cleansing they wrought but they took their toll. Let me tell you, a diet of locusts and wild honey isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Your jaw would be sore from crunching the fucking grasshoppers and you’d be all night picking the jaggedy little legs out of your teeth. As for the honey, your hands would be like a football from all the stings, you’d be in mortal fear of fighting yet another bear and besides, wild honey isn’t like the nice clear stuff you buy in the shops. Wild honey has all sorts of dirty shite mixed into it.

Not great.

Let me also point out that the wilderness isn’t great for washing facilities. There isn’t much l’Oreal out there among the sand dunes and the wild scrub nor much of anything else either.

No indeed. ‘Tis a gaunt and unshaven Bock that trudges back into your life. A hollow-cheeked creature with wild, sunken eyes and a thousand-cubit stare, clutching at your collar with a claw-like grasp.

By thy long grey beard and glittering eye, you might well demand, now wherefore stopp’st thou me?

Wherefore, indeed.

Well, that will become apparent as time uncurls itself from a painful lotus position but for the present, let me say simply this.

‘Tis a new Bock that waves this gnarled old walking staff at thee. A new Bock and a changed one. A Bock with many faces and many voices.

A Bock whose name is Legion.

  13 Responses to “Bock’s Back”

Comments (13)
  1.  

    Oh so you’ll be identifying as ‘Legion’ now is it?
    Sure we we’ll never know the right feckin’ pronoun for that!..goosed is what we’ll be and no mistake. Welcome back Bock, and sure your lookin’ great after the diet; locusts must be the new superfood, and sure the long grey beard is very hipster altogether, and that glitter-ball eye, or whateveryecallit is very ‘retro’, very boogie nights…

  2.  

    Jazus!

  3.  

    Arise Sir Bock and take your place among the illiterate

  4.  

    About damn time, sugar! Have you been watching the news? xo

  5.  

    (2nd try) Welcome back then! xo

  6.  

    Nice one!

  7.  

    Great news, welcome back Bock!

  8.  

    About time if I may say so.Welcome back Bock, you were missed.

  9.  

    tis good to hear from you

  10.  

    Welcome back bock …

  11.  

    Badly missed! Good to have your banter back!

  12.  

    So you’re back are you? Think you can just waltz back in having left a big digital hole in my ‘sob’ cyber world. I suppose I’ll have to put you back in to my ‘ uncalled for rabid attacks on an unaccountable establishment favourites folder’. How’s psycho dog by the way?

  13.  

    welcome back.

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