Right. Many of our people are already in place at the Ricoh stadium, and I'm receiving communications from Coventry by the minute.  There are 5,000 Saracens.  There are 20,000 of [...]

Forget Bertie Ahern. Forget Iraq. Forget global warming. Forget the banking crisis. Tomorrow, Munster meet Gloucester in a make-or-break crunch game that will either see us progress to the semi-finals [...]

God, that felt good! (Pics (c) Inpho Photography from www.munsterrugby.ie) Like Ronan here, I went home with two smiles on my face, and Bullet had another two, but that was [...]

I know you'll forgive all the secrecy, but now I can tell you the full story — or at least, as much of it as would be safe for you [...]

He seems like an avuncular old buffer but his heart is made from solid bands of laminated polycarbonate. Let's call him "Z". Bock, he murmured, over a glass of rather [...]

I got up at about eleven, had a quick vomit, swallowed eight of the RED pills and fourteen of the BLUE pills, drank the BLACK liquid as directed and the [...]

The phone rang.  It was Limehouse Dick, and he was worried.  I could hear him sweating. Northern Rock, he said.  They're in trouble. Yes, I said. I know.  In fact [...]

Hakk!! Hawwwkkkhh!!! Hak!! Khhakkhh!! Fuck! My fuckin head!! Hak! Kahokk!! Hok-thooee!! Ukkhh. Urk. Nnnggmnngghh. Mmnnnnhh. N. I stir in the bed but I do not move, for I have experienced [...]

Anyway. Where were we? Oh right, sorry, we finished with Wrinkly Joe saying it wasn't even three o'clock yet. Well, that was the run-in to the only really cheesy moment [...]

I eased into position behind the battlements of the old castle. A mile away, the target strutted across a stage, wheeling and swaggering as only such a swine is capable [...]