I’m glad this is nearly over. I’m so glad, I’ve even stopped kicking my dog and making disparaging remarks about
This stupid election has turned me into a different person, and indeed, a person I’m not at all sure I like.
Sarcastic. Aggressive. Loud. Excitable. Overbearing. Pessimistic. Angry.
Oh, wait. It had no effect at all on me. Sorry.
Two PD canvassers had the bad luck to be standing at my door during the week when I pulled up in the old Bockwagon with three bags of cheap Aldi dogfood and a dozen bottles of wine for later. I also got something for the dogs.
What? I screamed reasonably.
Oh, we were hoping to get your Number One vote for our candidate, Tim —
Vote? I roared amicably. Listen here. Answer me this. Wasn’t it an ex-PD minister, Cullen, who called me a stupid fuckwit because I didn’t like the anti-democratic flaws in his badly-designed e-voting machines that are now stored in some disused airship hangar at great cost and will never be sold except to Robert Mugabe or Vladimir Putin for tying around the necks of his political enemies for dropping them into the Volga when he runs out of Polonium 210 or teabags or both?
And wasn’t it your Justice Minister who has 200 policemen in Rossport to beat the local schoolteacher, lifeboat skipper and farmers off the road so that Shell Oil can force their gas pipeline through the community? While the rest of us are crying out for police on our streets to fight real criminals?
And didn’t your government give away, free and at no benefit to me, all our gas reserves to the same Shell Oil company? And wasn’t the minister who did that a convicted crook who did time in jail for being a crook?
And didn’t your government give one thousand two hundred million euros of my money to bail out the child-abusing catholic clergy?
And didn’t your government’s leader give the National Children’s Hospital to the Mercy nuns in a completely unsuitable location because he used to work for them and they have some hold over him?
And didn’t the same man get a pile of money from somebody connected with a big company. And the same year, didn’t he change the law to give a tax break to that company alone?
And didn’t your government sell off our national telecommunications company to an asset stripper with the result that there has been almost no investment in economically vital broadband?
And isn’t it the same government who have just handed a huge pile of our money to the same robbers who have a bridge in the middle of a vital motorway, which our money built in the first place, to deliver customers straight to their cash-desk?