Old-Testament Religious Lunatics Oppose Civil Partnership

The nutcases just won’t let it alone, will they?

The sex-obsessed Seán and Martina Burke, full-time protesters with no obvious alternative means of earning a living, drive their children from Castlebar two or three times a week to hold placards outside the Dáil.  The placards tend to be biblical, with quotations from Leviticus to support their view that homosexuals should not be allowed to enter into a legal arrangement with each other.

The family members happily repeat a selection of spin, propaganda, distortion and plain lies to anyone foolish enough to listen to them, which is hardly an ideal way to raise ten children.

The Burkes claim to be Christians but I don’t believe them. I felt particularly sorry for one of their young teenaged daughters, standing there with a placard that reads  Thou shalt not lie with mankind as with womankind. It is abomination. Leviticus 18:22.

Oddly enough, the placard omits to mention the punishment for homosexuals prescribed in Leviticus:

they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them. (Lev 20.13)

The poor little girl, at such an early age has already been embittered and twisted by these  hate-filled scriptural certainties, and will in time no doubt come to hate her parents  when, perhaps too late, she realises how much they have stunted her emotional development.

What a grounding for a young girl who should be free to grow and learn about life instead of obsessing about such a dark vision as Leviticus expresses. What a horrible destruction of innocence on the altar of grim orthodoxy. It seems Abraham wasn’t the only one willing to sacrifice his children.

As well as condemning homosexuals, Leviticus permits people to buy slaves and sell their own daughters.  It points out that anything and anyone touched by a woman during her period becomes unclean.  It requires that those working on the Sabbath should be put to death.  It states that shellfish are an abomination, but it doesn’t specify whether they’re a worse abomination than gays, which leaves the way open for a law banning winkles and mussels.  The God of Leviticus forbids hunchbacks, dwarfs, blind people and men with flat noses to approach his altar.  This rules out half the aged clergy of Ireland.  Likewise, Leviticus forbids us to use linen and wool in the same garment, and the intermingling of different cattle breeds, which is bad news for Teagasc and the Irish Farmers Association.    It goes a step further than our recent blasphemous libel law, condemning blasphemers to death by stoning, a duty I imagine Mr and Mrs Burke would carry out with relish. It likewise requires the death penalty for killing a man (though not a woman).  It forbids religious statues.

Oh, and black pudding is also against the law as well as all pig meat, so that’s the end of the traditional Irish breakfast.  I don’t think it says anything about toast, or tea or coffee, because the God who dictated it hadn’t heard of these things yet.

What a fine world Mr and Mrs Burke, and their demented offspring, have in store for us.