In a petulant, and completely unreasonable, fit of pique I told Joe the builder to fuck off, and then I stood there looking at a half-completed kitchen and wondering what I was going to do. But hey, what else would I do in a crisis? I went to the pub, where I bumped into my [...]
I’m like a bastard at the moment. A headless bastard. I’m running around like a headless bastard with no purpose, no direction, no plan and of course, no head.
Why?
Is it a drug-induced frenzy brought on by too much brown mescalin and a pint of Wild Turkey?
No.
Well then, perhaps it’s an attack of burning [...]
After reading Mr Warmington’s charming piece on his Super Panther lawnmower, my conscience began to attack me, in a vaguely collapsed-Catholic kind of way.
Look at that grass, Bock, it whispered. After all your poor mother did for you. Look at the state of that feckin garden.
And to be honest, I have to admit [...]
I don’t know if I mentioned to you that I’ve been doing a bit of a job on the old house over the last while. Did I mention that? Maybe it was before anyone started reading this shit, so it could easily have missed you.
Anyway, I have. For the last three or [...]
All home improvement programmes are terrible, but Irish ones just seem to go one step further in awfulness, for some reason, and I can’t figure out why. Is it because they come from RTE-land. Is that it? Maybe that’s the reason Irish home-improvement programmes are shite.
What the fuck is going on in [...]
I now have Kitchen 2.37 running well, and without too many bugs, though I still require a good number of plug-ins to complete the installation.
Did I tell you I originally used a bootleg version of Carpenter to install Kitchen v1.0? Never again. It was an old version of Carpenter. Version 0.8.3 had [...]
This will disgust you, or at least I hope it will. It certainly disgusted me. With any luck, it might even make you vomit.
Over the past few days, I’ve noticed an awful lot of bluebottles around the house, but you get that sort of thing during such exceptionally warm weather. Now, I hate [...]
Somebody asked me if I was going to christen the new kitchen, and I said, yes, I was going to call it “Dermot”.
I think this has great possibilities, and perhaps even has the making of a children’s book: The Adventures of Dermot the Kitchen. What do you think? Maybe they’ll make a movie of it, [...]
I seem to have been building this kitchen for about eighteen years now, and I don’t know when I’ll be finished. I’m hoping to have most of it complete within a month or two, maybe, and in that hopeful spirit, I made a small leap of faith today, purchasing a can-opener. It’s a cheap plastic [...]
