I have two small dogs: Satan and Dermot. Satan is a Jack Russell, highly intelligent, faithful and brave, with the heart of a lion. Satan is clean and never, ever [...]

I must be a very bad man. My two dogs have no discipline whatever, and it's all my fault. I didn't train them when they were pups and now they're [...]

It's very difficult to own a dog. Very. It's hard. Dogs demand a great amount from their owners, and anyone who tries to tell you that pets lower your blood [...]

I opened the fridge to get something for the dinner and it was – well, you know the way fridges get when you haven't cleared them out in about six [...]

Jimbo gave me a shout. Will we go into town for a pint? Town? Are you mad? It'll be full of aggressive drunk fuckers. Ah no. We won't bother with [...]

Here's the moment when the Popehound jumped out my bedroom window. Caught on cctv. ============================= Ratzo Ratzo 2 Das papahund Das papahundchen Curses Ratzo – First Blood

Ratzinger didn't fall to his doom when he jumped out the bedroom window. As I was rooting around in the cellar, searching for a spare canister of polonium-210, I heard [...]

Last night, as usual, I riveted a sheet of stainless steel to my bedroom door and, as usual, by dawn the dog had gnawed through it. As usual, I fired [...]

Dermot has found a new way to make my life miserable. I took him with me this morning to the market, because I thought it would be nice to introduce [...]

Dermot has me driven fuckin mad. One small dog is filling up the house with shit and I'm going crazy. I'm developing cynophagophobia, or as we used to say in [...]