Categories
Politics

General Election

I’m glad this is nearly over. I’m so glad, I’ve even stopped kicking my dog and making disparaging remarks about tinkers Travellers.

This stupid election has turned me into a different person, and indeed, a person I’m not at all sure I like.

Sarcastic. Aggressive. Loud. Excitable. Overbearing. Pessimistic. Angry.

Oh, wait. It had no effect at all on me. Sorry.

Two PD canvassers had the bad luck to be standing at my door during the week when I pulled up in the old Bockwagon with three bags of cheap Aldi dogfood and a dozen bottles of wine for later. I also got something for the dogs.

What? I screamed reasonably.

Oh, we were hoping to get your Number One vote for our candidate, Tim —

Vote? I roared amicably. Listen here. Answer me this. Wasn’t it an ex-PD minister, Cullen, who called me a stupid fuckwit because I didn’t like the anti-democratic flaws in his badly-designed e-voting machines that are now stored in some disused airship hangar at great cost and will never be sold except to Robert Mugabe or Vladimir Putin for tying around the necks of his political enemies for dropping them into the Volga when he runs out of Polonium 210 or teabags or both?

Eh —

And wasn’t it your Justice Minister who has 200 policemen in Rossport to beat the local schoolteacher, lifeboat skipper and farmers off the road so that Shell Oil can force their gas pipeline through the community? While the rest of us are crying out for police on our streets to fight real criminals?

Eh —

And didn’t your government give away, free and at no benefit to me, all our gas reserves to the same Shell Oil company? And wasn’t the minister who did that a convicted crook who did time in jail for being a crook?

And didn’t your government give one thousand two hundred million euros of my money to bail out the child-abusing catholic clergy?

Eh —

And didn’t your government’s leader give the National Children’s Hospital to the Mercy nuns in a completely unsuitable location because he used to work for them and they have some hold over him?

Eh —

And didn’t the same man get a pile of money from somebody connected with a big company. And the same year, didn’t he change the law to give a tax break to that company alone?

Eh —

And didn’t your government sell off our national telecommunications company to an asset stripper with the result that there has been almost no investment in economically vital broadband?

And isn’t it the same government who have just handed a huge pile of our money to the same robbers who have a bridge in the middle of a vital motorway, which our money built in the first place, to deliver customers straight to their cash-desk?

Eh —

Lads?

Yeah?

Fuck off.

Categories
Politics

Irish General Election

I see our government has decided to go to the country.

Great. Time to start torturing those political reptiles that call to your door once every four years. After all, even if you didn’t disagree with their policies, it’s very hard to like a heavily-sweating man in a bad suit with a gigantic belly and highly-suspect hair.

I hate these people, but I don’t – obviously – expect you to be so vehement. Obviously. Did I mention that I hate these fuckers? Yes. However, you don’t need to be anywhere near as vehement. Just ask them a few questions when they come to your door, and while I think of it, may I just enter a small caveat? Thanks.

Caveat: This is a completely non-party site. This site hates all political parties equally, naturally, because they are all equally power-grabbing scum-sucking cynical parochial arse-licking morality-free fuckheads. All of them. Including the Greens, the Browns, the Greys, the Socialists, the Socialites, the Luddites, the Lignites, the Meteorites, the Bentonites and of course, the Gelignites. Not to mention Hurricane Johnny and the Jets. The whole dishonest, shit-eating lot of them.

That is Bock’s view on politicians, both established and incipient. A crowd of wankers. Tosspots.

However, as only one party has been in power in this benighted little country for a generation, unfortunately it’s going to look as if I have adopted some kind of party-political stance, when in fact it’s simply that there isn’t anyone else to attack. I mean, the only people who have fucked up in recent memory are the government parties. OK? That makes sense.

Here’s my suggestion. I’ll make a list of hard questions. You can paste them on the inside of your front door and then, instead of listening to the nauseating shite you know they’re going to throw at you, simply say

Hold on a minute. I have a couple of questions.

What do you think? Is this revolutionary or what? People with real questions challenging real stupid politicians.

Now here’s a problem. Because this is Ireland, a small tiny little country on the periphery of just about everything, there are certain things I can’t recommend to you. For example, I can’t suggest you say

Why did you invade Iraq, you murdering fucker?

Of course not. We didn’t invade Iraq.

You could, however, ask something along the lines of

Why did you give Shannon Airport for the use of the US military to invade Iraq, you murdering- by-proxy fucker?

Or you could try something more parochial. For example, you could ask

Why did you give €1,200,000,000 of my money to bail out the religious orders who raped and abused Irish children? For clarity, that would be one thousand two hundred million euros. Could you explain that please? Thanks.

And if you draw a blank on that, maybe you could ask them the following:

How much of the profits from the Corrib gas field go to the Irish citizen?

[Hint 1: The answer is not a penny]

[Hint 2. This is where the Government has sent 200 police to beat the local protesters off the roads while real criminals walk around unhindered everywhere else.]

[Hint 3 This was the deal signed by the convicted fraudster and crook Ray Burke when he was Minister for Energy.]

You might add another supplementary question if you feel sufficently splenetic:

When he gave away this valuable national asset to Shell, how much did Ray Burke make out of the deal?

[Hint: No problem, Ray. Sue me.]

And as this is a Limerick-based site here’s a local one.

Limerick is a much smaller town than Dublin. It only has a population of about 120,000 people in the greater area, compared to the 1.2 million of Dublin. Therefore the most we could expect is a tenth of whatever Dublin gets, per head of population. For instance, as the Luas tram system in Dublin cost €800 million, wouldn’t it seem reasonable that we could have €80 million spent on a tram system for Limerick? A tenth, in other words.

That way, it would be less annoying to see all our tax money spent on a city we don’t live in.

Fine. Here’s the question:

When will the government spend as much per head of population on Limerick’s public transport as they did in Dublin?

[Note: Substitute Cork, Galway, Waterford, Sligo or wherever else you prefer.]

Isn’t it great? And we’re only starting on these bastards.

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